Prison Story #4
Added 2023-06-15 00:16:41 +0000 UTCA couple chapters ago in Plan for the Galaxy, I had Shepard walk in during MC telling a story. It was actually one of my prison stories I have collected. Here is the whole thing.
There was an officer, John, who had a party trick. He was able to suck his gut in and his trousers would fall down. He also got bored very easily and did things to amuse himself. So one, he decided that he was going to run the orientation for all new prisoners in his unit. As such, he brought a prisoner into the office to do their orientation.
The orientation ran normally as he talked about the Monday to Friday routine. Wake up is this time, meals are at these times. You're expected to work between these times and so on. Then he started to have fun.
“So, on Saturday is the ball with the women’s prison,” he said, “so make sure that you have your dancing shoes ready to go. We don't want to embarrass ourselves after all.” Bear in mind, there has never been a ball or social event of any kind with the women’s prison. It was just said to confuse the prisoner.
He then turned extremely serious. “Now, are you a homosexual?”
The prisoner looked startled. “Excuse me?”
“Do you like to have a man’s penis inside of your bottom?” John asked, still very serious.
“Uh, no,” the prisoner said, still confused by the question.
John then stood up and sucked his gut in, dropping his pants and showing that he was wearing bright pink silk boxer shorts.
“Well,” he said, “you’re not going to like Sundays. Off you go.”
The prisoner gaped at him, completely unsure on what to say and he left looking stunned, uncertain and scared.
