Poll: Name the Home Team Stronghold.

Just did a reread of Butchers Masquerade and the castle got named “the sugar cube”. Might want to address that for continuity as Carl says that everyone was going along with it

Demond Moore

The 19th floor would have been fun.

Derek Reilly

Fortress of Unyielding Persian Authority

Terra

Love it, really love the idea of sledge using his love of video games to name it

Slothistotle

The TOUS you know the Tower of unusual size!!

QueenofHartbrake

And this entire book is “so 2003” if it was a “2024 novel” it would have 1/100 of the fan base cuz the entire series would be people arguing about bathrooms and pronouns instead of the insanity and hilarity Involved. Hell the AI sending an unlimited horde of creatures at Carl to force him to use his feet to crush them until the AI is “satisfied” is pretty “offensive” (you know since forcing someone to do something that gets you off is literally a form of sexual assault) but you’d rather be offended over fort of unyielding power and authority 😂😂

A

You took an acronym based on a non sexual title, changed it to a different meaning then got offended about it. YOU are the alienating asshole here kiddo. The amount of narcissism you must possess to purposely take something out of context just to be upset and then try to gaslight everyone else into being the problem? Maybe get some therapy before you start calling others bully’s because YOU made up a situation then got upset at others for it and started calling them names because of it 😂

A

I’m being mean? 😂😂 these people are delusional and taking a non sexual thing (the fort of unyielding power and authority) and making it a sexual thing just so that they can then be offended over it 😂😂. It’s not mean to point out narcissism and gaslighting which is exactly what you have to do in order to twist a situation and then get upset and blame someone else for what YOU created in your own world.

A

Awww you’re such a sweetheart. Did you get offended too by the fact that I think anyone who goes out of their way to change the context of something in order to get offended is a moron? I’d recommend you get some therapy but there’s not enough therapy in the world to help with the amount of narcissism and gaslighting one must be capable of in order to manipulate a situation so that they can be offended and then actually try to blame other people over the situation that THEY created in their world. Delusions can be helped with medications though so at least there’s some hope for you 😂😂

A

I love the scratching post, but FUPA is also fun

Milena

A, You are an actual dick joke

Janette

For FREE?!

Lauren J

🤣 FFP

Zach West

Fupa is amazing (feminist lesbian with a fupa) not sure why anybody is wringing their hands do you ppl read these books?!?

Tonya Arlene-Crawshaw

I was really hoping for something like The Shoe.

Bru-

I know it's a poll and you picked the names but what about something like Yolandas revenge, Feroz's revenge Free feet pic here

Sean V

the AI could change it to Glory hole, after Carl chooses a names, cos Carl upset him Again

mefeed

Instead of FUPA, could we have FUBAR, or is that too on the nose. but sledgy has to decide

mefeed

Well, since Point Mongo is off the table. I'll vote for the scratching post

Bob Beerbower

Maybe since Matt is including the conversations here, he'll include someone saying this in the book 😆

Daniel Hembree

C.O.C.K Castle Of Confident Killers. Or something similar which then donut could trash talk prince stalwart about having a bigger one.

Nick

FUPA seems too forced. Imo it only works if the name was actually something they would pick. No one would pick fortress of what ever it was

Thomas Markovich

Regardless of what the stronghold name ends up being, I completely agree with this suggestion. It's just too perfect.

Daniel Rue

The only thing better than FUPA would be The Glory Hole. Reminds me of the time that I worked in the auto shop of a gas station when I was just an innocent 15 year old and a customer came in and needed his tire fixed. Since we had to take the tire off the rim to repair it, I walked into the front and announced to the manager that the customer was there for a rim job. It was a learning experience for me....

Michael

How about Fortress of Unyielding Persian Anarchy?

Dragan

If you take something non sexual and make it sexual then got offended for it then you deserve to be made fun of for being so sensitive. FUPA in this context is Fort of Unyielding Power and Authority…it’s how acronyms work. Being offended because you WANT it to stand for fat upper pussy area then you then maybe you need to just delete your internet browser and watch Bluey or Peppa Pig cuz only a child would get upset over something that they decided to imagine and blame someone else for it. And imagine a fictional character in an absurd story being killed off by a “morning after pill” joke being considered “bullying”. I’m sure you’ll report this for bullying as well since your definition is as convoluted as people’s attempts to sexualize a non sexual title such as “fort of unyielding power and authority”

A

Would not of minded having Donut receive a fanbox from the Donut Holes containing a building enchantment that also causes the building's name to change, just to see Donut's reaction

El Haako

Ratta Tat Matt, I'm getting some good vibes concerning castle nameology. From your two most collaborative followers: Some castle name chitter chatter: SASKIA HILTEMANN says - Late to the party but, castle name if Donut gets to name it: Persian Palace. A reference to her breed of course, and the Persian Gate was a historical last stand (Donut knows that because Carl left the history channel on once too often orso) but "gate" isnt royal enough for a Princess of course. That historical last stand was lost but that could just make for a funny exchange when somebody points that out to her. J Sibble says - Plus, Louis can offhandedly call it 'Penis Palace', which Dounut really won't mind too much. And Voila! New line of Princess Posse Merch begins! Cumm'on Matterhorn! Let's work this in. Dounut holes + Penis, sorry Persian Palace=batchlorette party GOLD!

J Sibble

Donut, the second Louis explains why the name FUPA actually has another meaning: CARL! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. IT WONT LET ME CHANGE IT! I actually want this scene so badly, please Matt 🙏

Terra

The Scratching Post made me laugh out loud.

Chris Peary

FUPA is perfect as an acronym but I do agree with the post above with it being named by the AI as Fortress of Ultimate Potential Anarchy. It makes sense in the light of just how many cookbook authors are back in the dungeon and how far off the rails the AI has gone. ** that being said I think the next vehicles the posse acquires Bomo and the Sledge get to name.** If you are reading these and are easily offended, well you’re doing it to yourself. This is the home of Dark Morbid Humour. FUPA and other such “insults” are only as effective as one allows them to be…. Speaking as one who has heard them all. Matt - I absolutely love these stories, thank you for writing them. These characters have very rapidly become well loved parts of my literary pantheon.

Danielle Black

How about "Fortress of Unlimited Potential Anarchy". This could be the default set by the AI because of how excited it is to have so many former cookbook authors in its dungeon. Fun reminder that the AI knows all about the cookbook, plus it loves the anarchy Carl brings to the dungeon so it's going to see the former authors turn up and figuratively wet itself. There could be a big discussion about giving it a better name but Carl would be eager to get off the subject as everyone is trying to guess why the AI chose that as the name, especially when the default it gave the Orc base was "Useless Cockwomble Base". Carl just says "We're wasting time, FUPA is fine" and hits accept. At which point Donut can tell him what it means and talk about how hurtful people can be about appearance, particularly with Sphynx cats.

Sandboy OC

Oh I see, it’s a primordial pouch. It just gets better and better! 😹

AmberTheIrishPersian

Sledge is nostalgic now so anything involving him in an immediate vote

Throh_goblin Lord

I don’t even know what a FUPA is but it sounds edgy and like a Duke of Edinburgh award, I’d like one 😻

AmberTheIrishPersian

Los Santos just sounds cool

Chris O

FUPA is often discussed in fashion blogs, forums, and social media as a means to criticize women’s bodies and clothing choices.

Sandboy OC

Thanks for this Matt. I truely appreciate how you don't shy away from low brow but keep the soul of the story in the right place. I know you can't control the fans you get, and low brow is always going to attract some toxic elements, but they're listening to you so I appreciate when the book calls them on their bs.

Sandboy OC

These are real people you are being purpousfully mean to. You may be missing the point of the book.

Sandboy OC

Named by Rosetta then ^_^

Sandboy OC

“Spaniel’s End”

Sarah

I voted scratching post for the strongholds. But this idea is even better!!

Stanislem

Why is this not an option?

Lost1nCarcosa

Yes!!

Saskia

Fort make the font bigger

riyon hutton

I know the AI has a foot fetish but I'd also love it to keep referring to strong hold fupa as "sexy", " round" "perfect pudding for Carl's little piggies." +5 charisma to anyone who walks through it barefoot.

Sydney McConnell

Agreed, I’ve gotten harassed on discord and chat so many times it’s creepy and icky

riyon hutton

Did you miss me?

riyon hutton

Was very tempted by The Guillotine, but ended up voting for The Scratching Post.

Jake Samuels

Lots of great ideas. One however just came to mind. What if everyone was too busy to name it in time so they go with the usual macro of getting Mordecai to pick something he tries for something like "the cheese grater" but the AI translates it to " poutine palace" or some other Canadian term. It would be before the so funny dink comment he makes later

Patrick Turner

I absolutely third this. Louis hears carl call it that and starts laughing hysterically. just like I did when I googled it. 😂

Terra

Ohh that's even better

Peter Benzoni

Carl should call it FUPA and Louis should tell him what it means.

Dan

I liked the Donut Hold

Dan

Los Santos is great

Kody R Allen

They want to support Matt directly, but are waiting to get the entire thing all at once so they don't have to wait for cliffhangers.

Jordan Reynolds

fatty upper pubic area

Jordan Reynolds

How ya not gonna call it 'Donut Hole'

Peter Benzoni

Louis: "uh, that spells FUPA" Donut: "Miss Beatrice used to say that a lot" Carl: "huh? what does it mean?" Queue conversation where we learn what it means, Carl finds the acronym funny but discovers yet another way Bea sucks. Ellie asks Carl what he even saw in Bea in the first place.

username here

***Spoilers*** Scratching post should be the tower.

E13design

make this a least popular poll win situation

Dehlan Sage

cmon dont let democracy win this time. castle dead end is the obvious choice.

Dehlan Sage

I really like the image of the gang showing up and finding out that the castle was named Los Santos, only to make sense when they find out who named it.

Connor Richard

My girlfriend and I suggest: “The Royal Boom Box” “Trap House” Or “It’s A Trap!”

Cheshirerogue

Determined Ignorance

Cheshirerogue

FUPA works but I don't like the actual name. Also it should be Louis who points out the acronym.

username here

People don’t read the chapters? How?!

Bo Jarrell

Los Santos is pure genius and I'm all about the scene where Carl and Donut find out that someone let Sledge name the stronghold lmao

Nostromo

FUPA. I just want Donut to get it explained twice to her before she realizes it’s not about cats.

Ryan

Most of the safe room/bar names are penis euphemisms. I think it’s in line with the tone that’s been set.

Ryan

What dies FUPA stand for?

Nancy E

Same. Sledge should have named it originally, FUPA gets brought up, and then Donut should rename it Scratching Post, followed by everyone rolling their eyes.

Mentive

No one wants Double... Burning... Gonorrhea... Or having your own mom, turning into a guy, that you have to fuck, that then turns back into your mom to birth millions of your own daughter-sisters. Just to get rid of your Double... Burning... Gonorrhea.

Nyquistfrequency

Fort fondue, melt them damn cheese sticks

Corvid

You should have added Double Gonorrhea

Mentive

100% agree... goes perfect with the whole hiding out in the clubs at Laccross or safe rooms and trying their best to avoid the dungeon and AI at all costs. My brain went with panzey asses and an association with an Odette interview for some reason... The hunters, sales reps, and a splattering splug of other specific individuals, trying to do no spoilers... they chose to be in the dungeon, the crawlers did not, technically speaking ya ya I know... information being whatbit was... I digress... the AI will love it.... I can already Jeff stretching out the entire accroynm to just get annoyed with having yo say it sooooo many times that FUPA!!! Will be a Fifa style goal chant... FUUUU PPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! "Maybe I should start calling you daddy"

Zach West

I'm with you ... honestly didn't have a clue what it meant. Now that I do know, I imagine if you are offended by that you aren't reading these books in the first place.

Joshua Galaise

I like the Scratching ppst

Craig Carey

Are we seriously concerned about FUPA being offensive, in a series about mass murder, killing babies, dick jokes, goddesses with constant water shooting out of their nipples, giant knockers as big as beach balls, crabs jerking off to dead baby seals, an entire harem of demons named after slang terms for pussy. etc etc etc. everyone and every thing will at one point be the subject of a joke. That's just how humor works. FUPA is about the most mild joke in this series... Plus, it works perfect. I can totally picture it too. Sledge suggesting it because it sounds cool and videogame like, donut instantly loving the grand long title, then honestly any of the "human" crew calling out the obvious. Donut retorts with a "don't listen to them sledgie, I love it. And as warlord, I've already named it." Followed by Carl saying "godamn it donut. We need to discuss these things before you just do it."

Nyquistfrequency

It should probably be FUPA because it's hysterical but, what about Neuchonkstein, or Possestadt? I could see Donut wanting it to be like something from a fairytale.

Serial Kilroy

I hope it's not FUPA. I had to look it up, and then I saw the history. That's not something I want to have explained to me as a joke. And it's not something I want to hear over and over again as a joke. Some of the other options are much more fun.

Ed

I love Sledgie and the idea he gets to name it after GTA. Also he got there first. FUPA is iconic and fits well with the series. They both have my vote especially since Matt said it wouldn’t be used to mock or alienate people. Some people in the comments need to chill. No need to shame people for feeling offended, their feelings and voices are valid. Kinda weird to go out of your way to make someone feel bad who is already feeling bad. Scratching post would come next for me.

Britt

Because it is also used to body-shame people

Treamayne

Thank you for trying not to punch down. These books are, weirdly, a cozy escape for me. I'm not overweight but I am female and have been made to feel unwelcome and straight-up sexually harassed in multiple D&D situations before. It'd suck to come across something similarly unwelcoming in what has become one of my favorite series.

cat maximus

I’m sad The Donut Shop isn’t an option

Rob Paul

FUPA is hilarious.

Daniel Kinney-Spears

First glance, Fupa seems like left-field low hanging fruit but without context of how the name gets picked I guess I can't say it isn't out of character for this series. Still prefer some of other names, Los Santos, Scratching Post, and Fort Fondue have my vote

DukeChutney

It's one thing to disagree with folks, it's a completely different thing to advocate for the entire fanbase bullying them. Bad form.

cinnibar ..

Fupa all day, how is this even a debate, clearly it’s fuptastic

Frosty40

Ooh, best one! Had my vote if it were an option

David K. Storrs

It isn't a fat joke. All women have a FUPA after puberty. It is just the bump of fat right above the pubic bone. Larger people will have a larger one, but we all have one.

Ashley Laird

I genuinely did not know FUPA would offend people. Literally every women who goes through puberty has a FUPA. Why is it offensive?

Ashley Laird

I can just hear princess donut screaming “ I’m not fat Carl!” FUPA for the win!

Chazz Mayo

The Fupa Holes lol to trigger donut

Sean V

If FUPA wins, this conversation we’re all having will be part of the conversation they will have. I kind of anticipated this reaction, but I wanted to see how people would really react. In book, it’ll be clear where everyone stands on the subject, and it won’t be used to mock or alienate people. We don’t make fun of people for how they look. Well, Carl doesn’t. Donut might, but only if she doesn’t like you to begin with. But she’d feel bad afterward. Either way, it may be stupid and juvenile, but we still avoid punching down.

Matt D

What about The Primordial Pouch?

cat maximus

And this is how I found out what FUPA stands for and that I voted for it without knowing that before.

Ladyval

Los Santos (anything for sledgie) or The Scratching Post! I had to Google what FUPA meant, is the princess posse on high ground? Could kinda make sense if they were fighting from pubic mound-like terrain.

Gremlils

If only it were FUUP (F U up) instead of FUPA (Scratching post would be the tower, no?) - or - FUBAR for the military reference

Treamayne

It's just so 2003, humor-wise. It's like getting hyped over EPIC CHIPOTLE MEALTIME or THE NARWHAL BACONS AT MIDNIGHT.

cat maximus

Princess's authority on negligent urbacide and senicide. The PANUS

william brown

I studied psychometrics during grad school, FUPA is pretty tame compared to some of the the acronyms I've seen these phds give their psychological assessments... I love it though, in my field and this situation.

Blake Bennion

Donut's Hold is hilarious.

cat maximus

Has to be named by Sledge, before the crawlers arrive. Nothing else makes sense unless it gets renamed by donut.

Sabe F.

A

Since everything goes sideways he should add a scene where 3 enemy combatants named after the 3 offended people get killed by a trap inside FUPA that’s referred to as Plan B

A

I think FUPA just fits perfectly in the DCC world.

Jennifer Nicholas

You don't gotta be a dick about it. The books are crude, but kind at heart. Your bullying assholitude here is exactly why this shit is alienating.

cat maximus

For what it's worth, I'm fat and I voted for FUPA

Vaughn Mortensen

FUPA but Donut has to freak or Imani needs to be grossed out or maybe Florine saying the military abbreviates everything but this sucks. Tina Fey says FUPA stands for Fatty Upper Pubic Area. (Might be from 30 Rock) So where the triangle of pubic hair is.

Billie Jean Van Knight

Or…it’s an acronym for what the fort is named for and you’re just trying to be triggered over a book that literally has the implication of an AI getting off to a dudes feet…that’s like watching porn and getting upset because it’s demeaning that the actress had to wear a slutty maid costume for the scene

A

Alienating? Seriously? Have you even read the books so far? Getting attended by an acronym? Cuz it’s quite clear what fupa stands for in the book but you’re getting your undies in a twist cuz you just wanna be upset😂😂😂.

A

I originally only voted for Scratching post, but after seeing someone got bothered by FUPA, it made me want to vote for FUPA

Steven Kendrick

3 people commented about how it triggered them, 350+ think it’s hilarious. Full send, throw in a joke about how the AI named it that because the moat smelled kinda tangy and fishy

Bill Gullotti

If you get offended by FUPA, how are you surviving DCC at all? Some of us grew up watching South Park and Beavis and Butthead for foot's sake...

Failtasmagoria

I knew it would be fupa

Tim McElrea

This is a great idea.

ecoKado

Nakatomi tower.

Greg Zoeller

I wasn't a fan of FUPA at first, but seeing everyone get offended is perfect for DDC. FUPA gets my vote

Brandon Dallon

Donut Holes Hold up.

Daniel Wasserott

Ayyyyy yooooo! Literally tell everyone about this feature when I’m selling the patreon for you!

Max

Yessir. Coming next in a day or so.

Matt D

Ghost ship. You can add the ghost ship trap and even tie in the wraiths that were mentioned in book 5 (I believe) that are supposed to gunning for the changelings and everyone else who was teleported.

Stephen Greenwood

Is "The Organ Grinder" a reference to "The Grinder", by any chance?

Jpic

WAIT!!! Fort Kobayashi Maru!!!

The Half Blind Prophet

Nice! So cool how you open this up to fans, Matt. Brain is now enjoying churning through a passel of names. Yolandaland. The Hurts Locker. The Crawlspace.

Tom

Fort Of Opulence Tiara

Nathan VanderBoegh

Donuts hold. Named by Ai. Hated by everyone.

Jesse

Matt!!!! If these comments don’t convince you NOT to name it the FUPA… some of these reactions are 🤢 seriously.

Dana R

Fortress of Undying Blood And Rage (FUBAR)

The Half Blind Prophet

FUPA!

Suruten

I also voted The Scratching Post

Ilya Taytslin

I get it. It’s a joke about fat vaginas. The “F” stands for fat.

Dana R

Please not FUPA. It's mean-spirited, alienating, and juvenile. I love Organ Grinder and Posse Palace.

cat maximus

I mean, I also just want to hear Jeff growl out " Get To The FUPA Goddamit!"

MojaveMuse

Los Santos goes stupid hard but it seems FUPA will win. It’s a close second

Grey Law

“The FUPA was in chaos…” “The FUPA was burning…” “The FUPA reeked…”

Randell

Honestly, agree

Gabriel Magalhães

I'm dead. FUPA ftw

Tad Abukuppeh

My understanding is it isn't really a fat joke. But I don't want to explain as the definition I've always known is kinda crass/crude and don't want to offend.

Daniel Gage

Aww, what about The Litter Box?

Christopher McCoy

The Scratching Post should be Donut's current tower.

FossilWreckers

Ahh I wish I could down vote FUPA. Not a big fan of fat jokes… :/

Dana R

Los Santos from Sledge is fantastic.

Thomas

The scratching post. And the dungeon/prison is the litter box

Brooke Vladyka

Hard choices but The fortress of unyielding power and authority fits the Dungeon Crawler world in my opinion. The scratching post is a hard second

Joshua Galaise

Ok. I may need to change my vote just for this line

Boredfundiesnark

The thicker the FUPA the tastier the Nussy Chalupa

Daniel Hembree

I was partial to a castle name that was mistakenly entered, like someone accidentally resting a paw on a virtual keyboard or something. Castle aaaaaaaaaaa… Then we’d have to hear Jeff say this over and over in the A.I.’s voice, as if they’re screaming. But I’ll vote on these choices.

jrue

Wow that's the most no brainer vote ever 🤣 I feel cheated! I demand another topic on which to vote! Jk

wartgalore

so many fun jokes just waiting to happen. Quick defend the fupa ! *ai voice* Your fupa is being capured. *grumpy carl voice* they have really expanded the fupa since i was last here

Matthew Richardson

Phallus Palace

Robert Griswold

Carl's Murderhobo Playhouse!

Tiny Augustine

Everyone back to the FUPA 😂

James Loy

Scratching Post should totally be the name for Donuts tower.

William Smallwood

Viva le revolution, Carl

Christine Brown

Plus, like, it not even starting out as an official name. Just sledgie started calling it that, and then it snowballed out of their control.

Kate Allen

I would love it if "the scratching post" had a callback to some situation back in the pre-chaos apartment about a scratching post where carl and donut got into it and the story obviously ends with damnit donut!

Kyle Murdoch

FUPA , mostly because I want Jeff to have to say it a lot 😂

Zach Gibson

The Posse Palace?

Kveld Bjorn

Sledges Choice!

Kate Allen

I can't help but dream of the line "everyone fall back to the FUPA!"

Scott Wright

I dunno The Scratching Post seems the most appropriate

Jeff Mossop

Lol I like the idea of Sledge naming it Los Santos, so child like

Jason Carey

Can't wait to hear Jeff say fupa

Aaron Krick

The organ grinder sounds bad ass. If it was like used like a garbage disposal trap thing. Rad.

Kaitlyn

The Guillotine is the universal way to deal with the bourgeoisie of the galaxy

Zauz

i do love fort FUPA!!🤣

Matthew Richardson

I read it as fart fondue, ick

Anya Gumns

"The Litterbox' would be my pick

Aaron Stinson

I also think it’s a great idea to have sledge name it. I also think Fort fondu fits well with the cheese sticks, which still makes no sense to me, but sticks in my mind, and I have made jokes about it. Fort Fondu would fit well, and I think doughnut would complain about it a appropriate and amusing amount.

Shantih Moriarty

Club Posse - definitely named by Donut

Andrew Gerber

Those are some good names

Paul pollard

The Oasis

Rik Crosby

All forces! Retreat to the FUPA!!

Bryce H.

I have no explanation why I like Fort fondue but it calls to me

Dave Matney

Juice Box's Murder Box. I love it.

curtis gatley

Love this! Are we gonna vote on the fan box this time?!???

Max

FUPA is the obvious best choice here, lol.

Steven Horowitz

Idgaf as long as Sledgy gets to decide 🥰

Trae Gesling Jr.

Battlefield Earth!

Bear C. Brown

Lol Matt

Spencer Shaw