short story (wip)

This is a short story I'm working on (THIS IS NOT DONE, IT'S NOT BEEN EDITED BY ANYONE ELSE AND I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THIS DRAFT). my tablet has been broken for days. it might be fixed tomorrow. I want to draw so badly.

"An Account of the Long Travels of a Cleric of Oberon”, or “On Maintaining Discipline and Order with Womenfolk in the Adventuring Party"

'Constant and stubborn work will surmount everything.' - an ancient proverb.

Remember this proverb, fellow clerics of Oberon. We who have sworn oaths to maintain peace among our traveling companions, and guide them back to the safety of their doorsteps. It is your constant and stubborn work that will surmount all obstacles to harmony among your companions.

Is there any creature more stubborn than the kind of woman who mastered the sword to protect her land and people, all the while having been told she was better suited to a more gentle occupation? Or a rogue who would crawl into a dragon's den to sneak out with a jeweled pendant in her pocket to match a new dress? And are these not the sorts that always find their way into adventuring parties?

When a woman companion sows discord among her comrades, or makes the whole lot fret over her unpredictable outbursts and reckless behavior, the best course of action is to strip her from the waist down and spank her bared bottom, either with your own hand or some kind of instrument that will sting enough to make her cry out. There are paddles made specifically for this purpose, but a sturdy wooden spoon or hairbrush works just as well. And even while you are traveling light, as long as there are trees, you can have her cut a light branch and fashion a switch that will dissolve her stubbornness in an instant, and have her wishing for a chance to show you how quickly she’s mended her ways.

It is an art to know how hard and how long and what way to spank an errant comrade, but fortunately it’s an easy art to master, if you know to look for one important thing – whether or not she is contrite. When you are about to spank her, it will be easy to tell if she is already contrite, or she needs to be made so.

If she knows her punishment is earned, and she willingly submits to it, you should spank her until she starts to twist and whimper, and perhaps longer depending on what sort of trouble she’s gotten herself into. If this is all it takes to make her behave, rejoice that she has joined your party, for there are few such gentlewomen among adventuring folk.

More likely she will show little to no remorse at all when you take her aside to chastise her, and will balk at the idea that she should bare her bottom for a spanking. Whatever indispensable skills she brings to the campaign, she is a grown woman, she will scream at you. She will say that you have no right.

But, you will tell her, you have been given this right by the highest power – your patron deity Oberon. Even if she herself does not recognize Oberon’s authority, she has submitted to your leadership by entering the adventuring party in return for your knowledge of healing magic, and your ear for the songs of all the living things of Maia.

As Oberon has written, a woman's will can be strong enough to crush kingdoms to dust; a terrible power for good or ill. It is thus our duty, fellow clerics, to turn her will to good! Left undisciplined, a spoiled or treacherous woman turns her will toward mischief, and sours the harmony you have so carefully cultivated among your companions. You must correct her swiftly and assiduously, before damage is done to the party’s morale. Do not let something as trifling as a young lady’s sassy mouth steal the good memories of camaraderie you could have had, and replace them with thoughts of endless, tiresome bickering.

***

Take heed, clerics of Oberon. It is only through constant and stubborn work that you will fulfill your oath to your companions.

Let me tell you the story of a young lady elf I’ve traveled with. Her name is Genevieve. She’s a crafty rogue. There’s not a trap she can’t disarm or a lock she cannot open, no matter how elaborate or arcane the mechanisms may be. She travels from her home deep in the inland forests to collect seashells, fills her luggage with them during her campaigns and brings them back to her hometown, knowing many of them will be made into the sort of iridescent beads she loves to wear in her braids.

...to be continued…