Update again.. diary entry 5?

I feel like I’m forever doing these updates but I just wanted to ask you to bear with me..

I had surgery today and am currently with nurse.. We did my butt and my face..  

I know some people find this ridiculous and think I’m silly or messing around as I have had some jump to conclusions before.. 

As I have said in the past I‘ve pushed my body so hard there are going to be times I stumble, fall and have to get back up again and again.. It’s easy to say this and that but I started with extra large 700cc implants in my butt and in a matter of months more than tripled that to over 2000, when most girls think a doctor giving them 500cc in their ass is ‘huge‘ and even that size is quite  prone to complications..

The usual is only around 300-350 by the way and before me the largest  in the world was around 800/900cc implants (I believe Beshine has these).. 

This isn’t a sob story or a rant, I just wanted to say if I am not around it‘s because I have been continuously pushing my body to the limits of what it can handle and sometimes I might overdo things by accident, or make a mistake and then I have to deal with it..

I never wanted to be just about the boobs so these procedures are not going to stop anytime soon.. What I will say though is that my health does always come first and I am happy to slow down when I need to.. I will likely do that anyway if/when I have a child in the next couple of years (my friend just had a baby yesterday and not gonna lie seeing her so content with the little one made me a bit broody too lol but am not going to rush into it)..

Please don’t call me obsessed with surgery or assume things like that about me..  Please don’t call me greedy or an attention seeker.. If I was either of those things I would be a lot more public and promoting myself more.. I have always also refunded people in the past when I’ve had go offline.. I don’t appreciate being called strange or weird or people making assumptions about me.. I’m a quiet girl in real-life until I get to know someone.. I’ve had people say that can’t be true lol but why wouldn’t it be..

I’m intense.. I have so many dreams.. To fall in love (again) 😊, to see the world, to keep pushing and pushing myself.. 

When I was younger I would hop from guy to guy but I crave something much deeper now.. 

I‘ve said before I adore plastic but I want  other things from life too.. I’m not a plastic addict because I might love it but it’s not my number 1 priority in life.. That is family and eventually I will have one of my own..  I want that more than anything ❤️

The last year or two I‘ve had this overwhelming sadness from what’s gone on in my family.. There were weeks when I would cry every single day.. My plastic journey has been a good distraction though, and the busier I am the easier it is to deal with.. 

It’s funny how there is so much sadness.  in the plastic world too.. I always think of Lolo Ferrari and what she went thru.. Luckily I’m not as fragile as someone like Lolo but I‘m more sensitive than I should be.. 

I’m going to spend some of the coming summer out in the countryside in Europe... I’m also going to go and check out the homes I grew up in as a kid.. I’ve wondered if I should knock on the doors but I doubt the people living in those houses now would appreciate that.. Has anyone else done that.. or is it too weird 🤔. I’m not allowed to go back to work injecting yet and I’m guessing it might be a while.. 

(I’m sorry if my posts have been rambling or strange  lately.. I am jumping on between these procedures and I meant to go back and edit the last one as it’s so long and not as clear or concise as I wanted it to be)

Again this is long so I will end it here.. I try to pop on when I’m mentally and physically doing better xx