NT: Chapter 102

We'd done a bit of a detour heading North out of South Town, largely based on a series of random happenstance. First, we were forced to detour east of Saint Louis after some sort of truck coming back from the decommissioning of an Ultratech Plant in Kansas City had jackknifed, spilling a bunch of highly mutagenic, highly addictive Ephemerol Two all over the outskirts of Saint Louis. We'd detoured east around the city and headed for Indianapolis, before turning west just south of Eerie in Central Indiana and pulling into Chicago the next morning, a full two days behind where we thought we would be. If nothing else, the weird, meandering course would throw off whoever was chasing Faith from Boston.

That day started like any other day, we drove into Chicago around noon, past the Zalinsky Auto Parts Plant near the Southeastern edge of the City, and stopped at Hub's Gyros for a quick bite to eat before taking the afternoon to see the sights. That proved to be a mistake. Oh sure, we'd done the Adler Planetarium and its new exhibit on Late Soviet Satellite Weaponry after the decommissioning of the last of the former Soviet Satellite Weapons during the recently declassified Goldeneye Affair. We also did the Shedd Aquarium's exhibit on Orca conservation and rehabilitation that they'd just unveiled after taking control of the remaining Orcas from the Northwest Adventure Park after they went bankrupt last year, once they'd failed to quash the Abuse Scandal they'd been hit with.

No, all that went perfectly well. It had been during a trip to the Field Museum that everything had gone tits up. Apparently, someone had thought it was a real good idea to go mucking about with Kothoga Spores before shipping the damn stuff back to the museum. Faith and I had only been in the main exhibit hall for an hour before the whole museum had gone into lockdown. To make matters worse, the folks who were in charge of the investigation, an Evolutionary Biologist named Doctor Margo Green and a Chicago PD Homicide Detective named Vincent D'Agosta, were both looking for scientific explanations.

Now, Doc Green, Detective D'Agosta, Faith, and I were running from the Kothoga because the damned Cop had insisted on trying to protect us, since we were apparently 'still just kids' in his eyes. He pulled his service revolver, which I noticed was an Old School Revolver, a Colt Lawman, rather than the Modern Barettas or Glocks the Cops used nowadays. Three-fifty-seven Magnus still wasn't gonna do anything to a Kothoga unless he also had specialized rounds, or got the damned thing in the eye. That was why the Special Forces carried Cougar Magnums chambered for Forty-four Magnum. He still wanted to play hero, though, and I was getting fed up with this.

"Stand back!" Ordered D'Agosta.

I rolled my eyes as he began firing bullets at the Kothoga, to noticeably little effect. The giant, reptilian, chimerical beast charged toward us down the tunnels, bullets striking sparks off of supernaturally strong scales but otherwise not doing jack shit to slow the Kothoga. Faith just shook her head at the display of pointless Machismo.

"You really don't get it, do you?" Questioned Faith.

"Unless you're a good enough shot to put one in the Kothoga's Eye, you aren't going to do jack shit." I scoffed.

"How are you two so calm about this?" Queried Doc Green.

"There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy." I deadpanned.

"What?" Asked Doc Green.

"Ignore him. He doesn't really watch a whole lotta TV, so a buncha his references are old stuff." Chuckled Faith.

As we joked about that, D'Agosta's Colt Revolver clicked empty with the Kothoga rearing up on its hind legs and bellowing a challenge. It backed up in the Hallway as it prepared to charge us again while D'Agosta struggled to reload. I looked over at Faith and cocked an eyebrow as if to silently ask whether or not she wanted to take this one or if I could have it. She gestured to me as if to say the fight was all mine, and I cracked my neck and strode forward as the Kothoga began to charge again.

"Damn it, Kid! Get out of the way!" Swore D'Agosta.

"Nah, Uly's got this." Smirked Faith.

"He's going to get himself killed!" Insisted Doc Green.

I couldn't help it as I flooded my body with Chi and prepared to literally take the bull, reptile, bug thing by the horns. I cracked a grin and began to taunt the damn thing in a sing-songy voice as it got closer and closer.

"Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough!" I challenged.

"Oh great, he's doing Soccer Chants. If you start wearing tweed, I'm gonna have to hit you!" Shouted Faith from behind me.

"You two kids are insane!" Spat D'Agosta.

"This whole situation's insane!" Exclaimed Doc Green.

Then I tuned everyone else out as I surged forward and grabbed the damn thing by the two tusklike horns that acted as pseudo mandibles. Immediately, I planted my feet, and the Kothoga pushed me back by main strength about a yard or so, my feet literally digging trails through the concrete of the tunnels under the Field Museum. I surged my Chi, however, and the pushback stopped dead in its tracks. My grin only widened at that, for a moment, as the Kothoga, caught completely flatfooted by the maneuver, gnashed its fang-filled mouth uselessly before it remembered it had front claws to slash with. Unfortunately, I was beyond something like this now. Its claw slash tore into my front, shredding my t-shirt to ribbons but leaving my skin completely intact.

"That was my favorite T-Shirt, asshole! Do you know how much cash I had to shell out for a Vintage Led Zeppelin Concert T-Shirt?" I questioned rhetorically.

"What is happening right now?" Queried D'Agosta.

"Uly's about to beat down your monster no problemo, that's what." Smirked Faith.

"You know what the next part of that chant is, Faith?" I asked as I held the Kothoga in place.

"I'm sure you're gonna tell me." Snarked Faith, rolling her eyes.

"You're gonna get your fucking head kicked in!" I shouted.

Then, I launched a quartet of Chi-powered, rising front kicks, smashing the Dragon's Breath Combo of the Great Kung Lao into the Kothoga's slavering maw. As I did so, the knifelike fangs shattered from the force of my kicks, and I literally kicked the damned thing back. I wasn't done, however, rippling my Chi as I leaped up into the somersault axe kick of the Hangetsuzan of Taekwondo, leg trailing fire as I literally smashed my heel down onto the top of the Kothoga's head, cracking off one of its hornlike tusks and scorching the hairy mane off its reptilian head. The Kothoga let out a plaintive whine as I leaped away and tried to turn to run. Unfortunately, in the confines of the tunnels underneath the Field Museum, it didn't have too much room to maneuver, so it instead tried to shuffle backward away at speed.

"No you fucking don't!" I spat.

As it tried to shuffle away, I reached out with my Megakinesis and locked down the horse-sized mystic predator into place. It struggled to break free, but I held it there, firmly in place, as I began to channel Chi into the palms of my hands, drawing upon the Chikara no Hadou to do so. The blue Chi Sphere, crackling with the yellow energy of the Chikara no Hadou, began to take form between the cupped palms of my hands, and I charged my Chi Attack for a few seconds before letting fly. My Denjin Hadouken flew true, and the Chi Blast that would core out an Abrams Tank with only a few seconds of work, slammed into the Kothoga, scorching scaly flesh and flensing reptilian muscle from bone, blackening chitin and carburizing bone.

Within moments, all that was left of the Kothoga was a charred skeleton and a scorched stain on the floor. I nodded at my handiwork before turning back to the group, dusting the palms of my hands off. Faith grinned at the casual display of slayage while D'Agosta looked shell-shocked and Doc Green looked like she couldn't believe what she'd just seen.

"Told you. Uly had it, you didn't need to drag us all the way down here." Scoffed Faith.

"What just happened?" Questioned Doc Green.

"That? That was nothing." I shrugged.

"I don't even know what it is I just saw! What did you do to that thing?" Queried D'Agosta.

"That was a few Chi techniques plus a slight application of psychic powers. Nothing fancy." I answered.

"Chi? Psychic powers? Next, you're going to be telling me magic is real! What was that really?" Asked Doc Green.

"And that's why you weren't gonna solve this on you're own." Pointed out Faith.

"What do you mean?" Questioned D'Agosta.

"You guys were looking for a rational explanation. Something scientific to explain this shit. That's not how this works. You shipped a bunch of dangerous plants from a hostile Hell Dimension that curse anyone who ingests the spores into turning into a version of that Hell Dimension's Apex Predator. You probably would've figured out it was mutagenic, eventually, but you wouldn't have figured out how it all worked. Not with science and definitely not before being eaten, or worse, turned into another Kothoga." I explained.

"The girl is right. I don't get it. What's a Hell Dimension?" Queried D'Agosta.

"I have a name, asshole!" Scowled Faith.

"A Hell Dimension is one of a number of extradimensional spaces that are ruled over by beings classified as Demonic, though I'm told some groups use the term Lower Order Dimensional Beings." I informed.

"And curses? Those are real, too, then?" Asked Doc Green.

"Real as a heart attack, which by the way, some curses can cause. There's a market in certain circles for assassinations that the Cops can't tell apart from Natural Causes, after all." I smirked.

"Prove it." Demanded D'Agosta.

"You saying you want Uly to curse you?" Questioned Faith.

"Not that, I mean, all this. Magic and stuff." Repeated D'Agosta.

"I think I pretty much already did that, or didn't you see me skeletonize the Kothoga?" I queried.

"No, I mean, that could have been some kind of hidden weapon, right? You're going to have to do more than that to prove it." Hedged D'Agosta.

"I don't have time for this. We've been sidetracked too long already today." I grumbled.

"Too bad. I'm the authority figure here, that means nobody leaves until we figure out just what the fuck it was I just saw!" Snapped D'Agosta.

"This is what I was afraid of happening." I groaned.

"What? That he'd make you prove things?" Asked Doc Green.

"He's going into a mental break since he can't rationalize everything away on the spot. Some people do that when confronted by the supernatural. It's why there's a masquerade up." I sighed.

"Well, what now? Do we just let the man with the gun froth at the mouth till he shoots someone?" Questioned Faith.

"I mean, I'm bulletproof at this point. I dunno about the rest of you." I shrugged.

"I ain't, so I'd appreciate it if you could calm him down." Insisted Faith.

"Fine." I agreed.

Then, I pulled up on my mystical reserves of power, incanted a few mystic syllables, and made a mystic gesture. Just as I completed casting my First Circle Sleep Spell, D'Agosta jerked his pistol up and at me before my spell hit him like a ton of bricks. He slumped to the concrete, pistol discharging a single shot into the reinforced concrete ceiling, sparking off a pipe that began to leak water down onto the skeletonized remains of the Kothoga. Then his pistol clattered to the floor, and D'Agosta toppled over, fast asleep.

"All right, what was that?" Queried Doc Green.

"First Circle Sleep Spell. He'll be out for an hour and ten minutes. That should be enough time for his brain to catch up to his eyes and rationalize everything. If it isn't, call Captain Blade with the Special Forces. She should know what to do, those guys deal with Omelette Cases all the time." I answered.

"Omelette Cases?" Asked Doc Green.

"'Cause they're cracked." Explained Faith.

"Exactly. Here." I huffed, reaching into my expanded Jacket Pocket and pulling out a piece of paper and a pen. I jotted down the number for the Special Forces Hunter Tip Hotline before handing it off to Doc Green.

"The Special Forces have a tip hotline?" Questioned Doc Green, bemused.

"You'd be surprised. They handle a lot of this sort of thing. Have done ever since they amalgamated back in the eighties." I nodded.

"Can we go now?" Queried Faith.

"Yeah, I wanna make it to Vegas before we stop. Make up for lost time." I nodded, putting the pen back into my Expanded Jacket Pocket and pulling out a battered packet of Red Apple Cigarettes and a lighter.

"Smoking causes cancer. Didn't anyone ever tell you that?" Asked Doc Green.

"Magic." I smirked.

"Fine. Whatever. I'll have security lift the lockdown." Groused Doc Green.

"Copacetic." Grinned Faith.

Fifteen minutes later, Faith and I were walking out of the Field Museum, the sun having just begun to dip below the skyline as I lit up a cigarette and got into my Camaro. Faith pulled into the front passenger seat, and I turned the key in the ignition just as the strains of Closing Time by Semisonic began to play over the Radio. We pulled out of the Field Museum parking lot and out onto Lake Shore Drive, headed for Fifty-Five. Then we'd turn onto Eighty-Eight and head west out of the Area.

We would make it to Vegas in just over twenty-four hours, where Faith and I would book rooms at Caesar's Palace for the night. We would be back on the road in the morning after a brief stop at the Tangiers Casino, where the Mob that ran the place wouldn't ask too many questions about underage gambling after a few Glamours were applied to Faith and I. I gave her ten grand to drop on a table, while I did the same. She lost hers, predictably, but I managed to make another three grand off craps before cashing out. Once we'd done that, we headed back on the road for Sunnydale.

We would make it the day before I was supposed to return to Sunnydale to help deal with the next apocalypse, pulling into my Converted Loft around noon. Xander's Truck was out front, but not Amy's Car or Sheila's Bike. Idly, I wondered where they were, but then decided that it wasn't any of my business.

As I entered my Converted Loft, however, I had to think fast as a Crossbow Bolt flew my way just as I walked in the door. With a surge of Chi, I snatched the bolt out of the air mere inches away from my chest.

"Great Googly Moogly! Ulysses! You're back!" Exclaimed Xander's Familiar Voice from the stairway.

"I am, and I brought company. Don't shoot her, she doesn't know you, and you are not going to want to get on her bad side." I chuckled.

As Xander and Faith introduced themselves to one another, I held the crossbow bolt up to my face. Between the runic etching and the blessed silver, I realized this was some of Amy's Enchantment Work. An Anti-Demon, Anti-Vampire Crossbow Bolt. It was nice work, and Xander had clearly been practicing his marksmanship, but I couldn't help but let out a laugh at the situation.

Home sweet Hellmouth, it wouldn't be Sunnydale without an attempt on my life first thing after coming back, after all. . .

XXXX

AN: All right, so here's the next chapter. Faith and Ulysses get caught up in the events of the Relic, and in dealing with it, Ulysses has to read someone in for the first time who either can't deal with the supernatural being a thing or can't rationalize it away. Reactions like Detective D'Agosta's are the primary reason for the Masquerade being a thing. Roughly ten percent of the Human Population just cracks when confronted by the supernatural. They can't cope with it and can't rationalize it away, so they break down. Sometimes in a way that's dangerous. For reference, ten percent of the Human Population is Eight-Hundred-Million People. If that happened all at once, with that many people crashing out all at once, it would be a civilization ender, or at least close enough to one that things would get really rough, really fast. Hence the Masquerade.

Other nineties stuff in this chapter includes mentions of South Town and Bongwhang Taekwando from King of Fighters, Ultratech from Killer Instinct, Ephemerol Two from Scanners Two, Eerie from Eerie Indiana, Faith, Xander, Hell Dimensions, and Sunnydale from Buffy The Vampire Slayer, the Zalinsky Auto Parts Factory from Tommy Boy, Hub's Gyros from Saturday Night Live, Soviet Sattelite Weapons and the Goldeneye Affair are from Goldeneye, Northwest Adventure Park is from Free Willy, the Kothoga, Doctor Margo Green, and Detective Vincent D'Agosta are from the Relic, Cougar Magnums are from Goldeneye for the Nintendo Sixty-Four, The Techniques of the Great Kung Lao and Captain Sonya Blade are from Mortal Kombat, the Denjin Hadouken and the Chikara no Hadou are from Street Fighter, Megakinesis and The First Circle Sleep Spell are from Second Edition Dungeons and Dragons, Red Apple Cigarettes are from the Works of Quentin Tarantino, and the Tangiers Casino is from Casino.

At any rate, the next chapter will have Ulysses be back in Sunnydale, catching up with his group and what they've done while he was away for the Summer, and generally introducing them all to Faith.

Stay tuned. . .