Chapter 82

I took Kensou out tonight, though sadly, he didn't have a Fake ID like I did that would let him get into Bars. We found that out real quick as we tried to get into the local Samoan Joe's, a Chain Tiki Bar that'd recently opened a location in South Town after expanding into the US and Canada from Britain. The bouncer had taken one look at Kensou's ID and shook his head.

"I don't read this Japanese Stuff, but if he ain't twenty-one, he ain't getting in." Grunted the Bouncer.

That was how we once again wound up at the Pao Pao Cafe. I was drinking a Penn Pavel's Ale while Kensou had pity taken on him and been given a cocktail by the Bartender, a Brazilian Man with Dreadlocks and a Goatee who introduced himself as the owner, Richard Meyer. Kensou looked at the various cocktails on offer and tried to pick one.

"What's a Melee a Tois?" Questioned Kensou.

"That's Dark Melee Island Rum, Kinakuta Orgeat, Honey Syrup, Ginger Syrup, a bit of lemon juice, and four dashes of Craggy Island Irish Whiskey." Answered Richard.

"Sounds strong. I'll take it." Nodded Kensou.

"Coming right up." Grinned Richard.

"Don't get too plastered." I advised.

"Why not? Athena chose you over me, why shouldn't I drink that away?" Queried Kensou.

"First off, Athena didn't choose me, all right? I just got out of a steady relationship and barely survived that heartbreak. I'm not looking to plunge into another one so quickly. Secondly, if you're too drunk, no amount of wing-manning on my part is gonna get you a girl tonight." I pointed out.

"Maybe I don't want another girl. Maybe I just want Athena, ever think of that?" Asked Kensou.

"Well, that isn't in the cards, Kensou. She doesn't see you that way and something tells me there's not much anyone can do to change that. Not you, not Sifu, and definitely not me." I sighed.

"So what? I just need to live with it?" Demanded Kensou.

"Why not? I lived after my breakup. You'll survive this too." I shrugged.

"Easy for you to say." Grumbled Kensou.

"No, it really isn't. Look, I never told you about Cordelia, did I?" I questioned, deciding to bite the bullet here.

"Who?" Blinked Kensou.

"My Ex, Kensou, come on at least try and keep up." I grumbled.

"Oh, no. You didn't." Responded Kensou.

"She was beautiful and not just on the outside either. Had a smile that could light up a room, stood by me even after I got my ass kicked bad enough to be stuck in bed for a week, smart as a whip too. Not book smart, but like, socially, you know? She had a quip or a comeback for every situation." I admitted.

"So what happened? It sounds like you two had something good going?" Queried Kensou.

"Well, she couldn't handle the world I lived in. The one we both live in. She was the normal one of the group, in a town called Sunnydale. You heard of it?" I asked.

"Sunnydale? I've heard Sifu mention it. It's one of three American Hellmouths and of the three it's the only one that's controlled by one faction." Nodded Kensou.

"Yeah, that's cause the other two are located under Cleveland and Detroit respectively. Big Cities with multiple supernatural factions. Three different Vampire Factions in each city, plus the various Witch Covens, Demons, and Sorcerers. I hear that a Black Witch named Sarabeth had uncontested control of the Detroit Hellmouth for a few years in the eighties, but then she got kicked out of power a few years ago and ran west with her tail between her legs. Last I heard, her trail went cold somewhere in Oregon. Cleveland hasn't had someone take uncontested control of its Hellmouth since the Eighteen-Nineties." I nodded.

"Interesting. Back home, most of the Hellmouths are closed. I believe there's one near the Higurashi Shrine near Tokyo, but the Demon Well hasn't been opened in centuries and can be closed or opened by the Priests There." Mused Kensou.

"Huh, neat. I wonder how that happened?" I frowned.

"Most of the Temples and Shrines back home retain their more occult arts. There's no stigma against mysticism like there is here in the West, plus, I'm given to understand that the Gods watch Makai for any comings and goings, and since that's the primary Hell Dimension linked to Japan, it's hard for Makai Demons to enter and exit. Although, now that I think about it, there have been rumors of Non-Makai Demons prowling the Juban Ward of Tokyo sporadically. They have local defenders there to help out, though." Responded Kensou.

"Interesting. Well, visiting Japan is definitely on my list now. I mean it was before, but now it's moved up." I grinned before taking another sip of my beer.

"It can be fairly lively." Agreed Kensou.

"Here you go, one Melee a Trois." Cut in Richard Meyer, our bartender sliding a yellowish-tan mixed drink over to Kensou.

"Pace yourself, Kensou." I warned.

Unfortunately, Kensou didn't listen, downing his drink fairly quickly. That prompted me to sigh and Richard Meyer to do a double-take. He looked over at me and cocked an eyebrow, to which I could only shrug and try to explain what Kensou was going through.

"He's just realized the girl he's been chasing for years sees him as a brother figure and not as a potential romantic partner." I explained.

"Ah, say no more." Nodded Richard, sagely.

"I was gonna try and wing-man for him tonight, but something tells me he's not going to be in any position to perform even if I could get him a girl." I sighed.

"Ah to be young again. Time was, I could down drinks like that all night and be ready to go in the morning after grabbing a couple aspirin from the local shop." Intoned Richard, wistfully.

"So what happened?" I questioned.

"Age happened, well that and Virtucon bought out Old Man Gordo's Shop. There's a Virtucon Gas Station where the shop used to be. Old Man Gordo died and his son Ernie took over. I heard Ernie Gordo's Nephew decided to take up Capoeira and join a gang, but I'd already left by that point. Wonder how Eddie's doing these days? He's gotta be in jail, you'd think. That sort of lifestyle always catches up with you in the end." Remarked Richard.

"Better him than you, I suppose." I offered.

"Got that right." Snorted Richard.

"Hey, can I get another one of these?" Queried Kensou.

"Sure. Coming right up." Nodded Richard before turning back to me.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure he's all right." I confirmed.

Richard nodded at that and headed off to make Kensou another drink. Seeing Kensou was all right for the time being, I headed outside to light up. When I got back, I'd make sure we both ate something so we weren't doing this on an empty stomach. Drinking without having eaten was a surefire way to get plastered without even meaning to, after all. While I could ensure that Kensou made it back to Chin Gentsai's apartment all right simply using magic, having him get too drunk, too fast, and having to go home early was something to be avoided as a matter of course.

I headed out a side door into the alley and fished a battered packet of Red Apple Cigarettes and my lighter out of my coat pocket and frowned as I noticed that I was running low. Most of my spare packs were back in Sunnydale too, which meant that these were the last few cigarettes I had on me for the foreseeable future. I was gonna have to grab some more soon if I wanted to keep smoking. Not a difficult prospect in and of itself, but the more time I spent in public, the more chances I had of running into Ryuji and his gang. I very much doubted getting punted off the roof would finish a guy like that, after all.

Shaking my head, I lit up and breathed in the smoke, taking a big inhale before breathing out my nose. As the smoke poured out of my nostrils, however, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Sighing, I turned around to be surprised by someone I'd never seen before, but who I knew from my downloaded information about the Raccoon City Incident a few years back, as well as from downloaded information about the Special Forces.

Short-cropped, brown hair framed a serious face, greenish-blue eyes boring into my own. She wore a pair of black cargo pants and a blue tank top with a black jacket over that that did little to nothing to hide the Forty-Four AE Lightning Hawk Semi-automatic handgun in a shoulder rig from anyone who might be looking for something like that. Jill Valentine, currently a lieutenant with the US Special Forces had sought me out, apparently.

"Lieutenant Valentine, yes? What can I do for you?" I asked.

"Captain Blade said you'd be here. Something about causing a ruckus with the Howard Connection." Nodded Jill.

"Sonya keeps tabs on me? I'm flattered." I grinned.

"Not the time for jokes. I need your help with something." Informed Jill.

"Unfortunately, I'm currently babysitting someone whose heart was just broken and is intent on getting plastered tonight." I pointed out.

"This won't take up a whole lot of time. We just need a consult on something. Do you recognize this sigil?" Questioned Jill.

She reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a photograph that she unfolded. I looked at it and frowned at what I saw. A sigil made out of black stone depicting a skull in the middle of a blossom of flame surrounded by a ridged circle. I knew exactly what that was and it meant nothing good. Yog, the Cannibal God of the Empty Abodes, an Old One imprisoned at the tail end of the Hyborian Age, but still worshipped by certain cults.

"Where did you find this?" I queried.

"A village in Nigeria near the Kijuju Autonomous Zone. After President Marshall forced the breakup of Umbrella Corporation thanks to the Raccoon City Incident the Special Forces have been combing over their archives and we recently discovered a link between Umbrella and a terrorist group calling themselves the Hand of Malak. Apparently, Umbrella was funneling weapons to them in exchange for test subjects." Informed Jill.

"That's not good. I thought Umbrella was a biotech company?" I asked.

"That's what most of the world believes, however thanks to the forced breakup of the company we now know that their biotech was actually Thaumaturgically-Created." Responded Jill.

"Well, this is the Sigil of Yog, Cannibal God of the Empty Abodes. I assume you've been read in on the Antediluvian History of Earth?" I questioned.

"You mean the Hyborian Stuff?" Queried Jill.

"Yeah. That stuff." I nodded.

"Only a little, why?" Asked Jill.

"Because Yog is a God from those times, what we in the Demon-Hunting Business call an Old One. He still has a few cultists around in rural Africa and Southeast Asia, but he's been sealed away with all the other Old Ones. Yog never made spawn himself, preferring mortal cultists and sorcerers to enact his rituals. Immortals don't do the things he needs them to, you see." I explained.

"Which is?" Pressed Jill.

"Sorcerous Cannibal Rites that make Ghouls and True Undead. It's how he spreads his worship." I answered.

"Oh." Remarked Jill.

"Yeah, Oh. My advice to you is to bomb that site as quickly as you can, then attack any nearby villages. You do not want a Yog cult to gain steam. Imagine Raccoon City, but the Undead are also super strong, super fast, and soak up bullets like it's going out of style." I responded.

"I see." Frowned Jill.

"If you have any local contacts amongst Demon Hunters or have any Sorcerers on the payroll, you'd be wise to call them up and send them with the teams going into Kijuju. You're likely to face Ghouls, Demons, and Sorcerers alongside the standard Zombies." I advised.

"Right. I don't suppose you're available. I know you've worked with the Department Before." Tried Jill.

"Sorry. I'm about to head to Japan to try and stop the Yamata-no-Orochi from waking up and eating a giant slice of East Asia." I refused.

"Right. Well, I'll tell Captain Blade what you said. Maybe she can convince Major Briggs that this needs to be a priority. If Major Briggs agrees, then he can get the Colonel to agree, who can take it to the Director." Sighed Jill.

"Sorry, I couldn't be more help." I nodded.

"Don't be. You've actually helped a lot. The current plan was to send in a few special operations teams to sweep the area with light ordinance for potential hostiles in a surgical strike. It sounds like they would have been massacred, though." Admitted Jill.

"Depends on the team. I'm fairly sure that Major Guile would have been fine. He's one of your Chi-Trained Officers and from what I've heard coming out of Southeast Asia, one of the top Chi Adepts in the world right now." I shrugged.

"Major Guile is still dealing with the Shadoloo Organization. Apparently, the death of their leader last year hasn't caused them to disband like we thought it would." Intoned Jill.

"Then it sounds like you made the right call." I nodded.

"It does. I'll contact you if the Department needs any more help on the issue." Insisted Jill.

"Sure." I agreed.

Then she was gone and I was alone. I finished my cigarette and stubbed it out before heading back into the Pao Pao Cafe. The conversation I'd had with Jill hadn't taken that long, but Richard Informed me that Kensou was already on his fourth Melee a Tois. I sighed at that information. It sounded like it was gonna be a long night. Quite frankly, with the news I'd just heard, I needed a drink myself.

Honestly, first, the Yamata-no-Orochi starts stirring behind its seal and now there's a big Yog Cult popping up in Africa. Was it just that we were coming up on the new millennium? Come to think of it, Acathla having woken up had been apocalyptic too, plus by my count, the Mortal Kombat Tournament would be coming up soon as well. The tenth one since the Great Kung Lao lost, which meant a potential Outworld Final Victory.

Things were heating up in terms of apocalypses it seemed and it might not be a bad idea to find out why that was. For now, though, I ordered a Melee a Tois for myself and decided that I needed to get just buzzed enough to forget about all the potential end-of-the-world scenarios, but not so plastered that I couldn't teleport Kensou and I back to Chin Gentsai's Apartment. As Richard handed me a Tiki Drink of my own and I took my first sip, I let off a silent prayer to my patrons that I didn't wind up teleporting us into a wall later tonight. Then I committed myself to drinking.

After all, if worst came to worst, we could always call Sifu to come pick us up. . .

XXXX

AN: All right, here's the next chapter. Yes, this does mean Resident Evil is technically a part of the crossover. No that doesn't mean there are a ton of evil biotech megacorps who might end the world. In this fic, it's just Umbrella and it's not biotech, it's all magic. Jill, Chris, Leon, etc are all part of the special forces, and RE Four doesn't exist, as Las Plagas aren't a thing.

However, the sheer number of Apocalpses going on over the past few years is interesting, isn't it? One might get the idea that apocalyptic events occurring repeatedly might be a pattern. That's going to be a major thing going forward, along with trying to find out why that is and how to stop it.

Other nineties stuff in this chapter include mentions of Eddie Gordo from Tekken, Melee Island from the Monkey Island Series, Kinakuta is a Southeast Asian Sultanate from several novels by Neal Stephenson, Craggy Island is from Father Ted, Samoan Joe's is from Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, Cordelia, Sunnydale, Hellmouths, Vampires, and so on are from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Virtucon is from Austin Powers, Penn Pavel Ale is from Malcolm in the Middle, Jill Valentine, Umbrella Corp, and Kijuju are from Resident Evil, Yog the Great Old One is from Conan the Barbarian, Makai Demons are from Yu Yu Hakusho, the Higurashi Shrine is from Inuyasha, the Demons in the Juban Ward is a reference to Sailor Moon, The Great Kung Lao, Sonya Blade, Jax Briggs, and the Mortal Kombat Tournament are from Mortal Kombat, Guile and Shadoloo are from Street Fighter, and Red Apple Cigarettes are from the works of Quentin Tarantino. Everything else is from King of Fighters.

At any rate, the next chapter will pick up the next morning with a hangover as Ulysses and the Group finally get on their plane to Japan for the start of the King of Fighters Tournament.

Stay tuned. . .