Prologue

I found myself in a Diner seated across from an older-looking blonde woman. Funny, I don't remember coming to a diner, last I recalled, I'd gone to sleep early to get an early start for D&D Tomorrow, since I had to be on the road by ten to get to my buddy's place in time to set up. Why exactly was I in a diner? Was this a dream? If so, why did it look like something I definitely wouldn't have dreamt about? My dreams weren't usually this boring. Was I dead? I didn't feel like I was dreaming or dead. I had so many questions, best to just ask.

"All right, I'll bite. What's going on?" I questioned.

"I am known as Oma Desala. I've brought you here for a reason. Things are rapidly coming to a head with an old foe of mine and as the best I can do on my own is achieve a stalemate, I need a ringer." Answered the Blonde.

"Yeah, pull the other one. Stargate's just an admittedly cool TV show. Unless there's a many worlds-type thing going on or I really am dreaming or dead, there's no way." I snorted.

"You doubt your senses?" Queried the Blonde, Oma Desala.

"If you wanted to quote Jacob Marley, you might've gone with a different form." I smirked.

"I suppose that would be considered a tad cliche. But yes, this is an alternate universe scenario. If you know what is, to you, fiction, then you know that I'm bound by certain restrictions placed on me by the Others. I had to find a world so far removed from the one I came from that no one would suspect what I'm doing." Explained Oma Desala.

"Another branch of the multiversal tree?" I asked.

"Try another tree in the forest entirely." Answered Oma Desala.

"OK, so what do you want? I'm guessing this has something to do with either Anubis or the Ori?" I pressed.

"It's both actually. I need someone who can stand up to Anubis, who will be able to match his technical innovations and battle tactics. Someone who will be out in the Galaxy from the start and who is more favorably disposed to the Tauri. Furthermore, I need someone capable of at least partially ascending so that they can aid in the fight against the Ori." Listed off Oma Desala. 

"And you think that I'm that Guy?" I questioned.

"You're the first suitable candidate I've been able to contact. The first attempt ran into problems with rationalization, and going in the other direction led me to someone with severe psychological issues. You, on the other hand, possess the qualities necessary without either being completely grounded in what most on your earth see as reality while also not being completely insane." Informed Oma Desala.

"So because I'm a daydreamer, but otherwise rational, instead of completely boring or actually insane, you've decided I'm the one to help out? You know, you're not really doing a whole lot to impress on me the willingness to do you favors." I pointed out.

"You will be given certain advantages. An enhanced mind, regeneration, a mastery of physics and engineering surpassing anything seen on Earth, and the most important quality that any potential Champion would need." Offered Oma Desala.

"What's that?" I queried.

"A good starting position. What do you say?" Asked Oma Desala.

"You know what? Why not? It beats what I've been doing." I shrugged.

"Excellent. Now, brace yourself, this might hurt." Warned Oma Desala, before placing her hand on my forehead.

There was a bright, searing, white light and I felt an indescribable pain, like my very essence was on fire. I cried out in pain, hoping desperately that the pain would stop. Stop, for the love of God stop! For a brief moment, my entire existence felt like it was being stretched through some sort of cosmic machine press and injected into a mold of some sort. My vision turned white, then faded to gray.

Then blackness took me and I knew no more. . .

XXXX

I awoke suddenly, feeling as if I were floating. Flashes of memories danced through my mind that were jumbled at best and everything was hazy, murky, like I was underwater. A vague memory flitted through my mind of some sort of schematic, but it was jumbled, as if I couldn't make out the writing on the schematic. I think I also tasted blood? I wasn't sure.

Suddenly, a light shined down from above and I felt myself being lifted up by a strong hand and placed next to something warm. I acted on impulse next, lashing out at the warm thing and burrowing inside it, chasing an instinct I wasn't sure where it had come from before wrapping myself around something and resting atop it.

Suddenly, the world swam into pure focus, my sight and thoughts clearing. A Chinese Man with an immaculately styled goatee in the robes of a Chinese Emperor sat atop a throne. I instinctively knew him to be my Uncle, Lord Yu Huang Shang Ti, the Jade Emperor, the second most powerful Goa'uld in the Empire.

Instinctively, I knelt before him as I realized what had just been done. I'd been inserted into the body of a Go'auld. Oma Desala had all but told me she was planning to do this, though she'd never come outright and said it. Clever of her.

"Rise, Erlang Shen. Your mother was a disappointment to me. Her failures as my Grand Chancellor will be expunged by your conduct, I trust." Intoned Lord Yu. It wasn't a question, that much I knew.

"Of course, My Lord." I replied, back, using the 'God Voice' that the Goa'uld liked to project.

A brief flash of genetic memory burst into my mind, showing me what had become of my 'mother', the Goa'uld Yaoji. She'd apparently been plotting with Cronus to seize control over a number of border worlds, including Shengyu, which Cronus had tried and failed to seize by force no less than three times.

"See that you do not repeat your Mother's failures. Come, there is much to go over." Nodded Lord Yu, stepping down from his Jade and Naquadah Throne.

His first prime, Wei Han, remained by his side as we walked. A flash of Genetic Memory let me know that Wei Han was a clone, purposely grown from the DNA of Lord Yu's original First Prime, the famous Sun Tzu, and engineered to be more untiring and swift than normal for a Jaffa. The enhancements weren't much, Ra had banned tinkering with Jaffa Genetics too much, fearful of a potential revolt by even more powerful super-soldiers. It was enough to give Wei Han, and all the Sun Tzu Clones an edge over the First Primes of literally any other System Lord save Ra.

Mind you, Wei Han had also been raised to obey Lord Yu since he was a toddler and even indoctrinated with various flash indoctrination technologies. The Jade Emperor may be kinder to his servants than a Goa'uld like Cronus would, but he was still pragmatic, ruthlessly so, when it counted. If Wei Han was genetically enhanced, he was also inextricably leashed to Lord Yu.

"With Ra currently undergoing his Grand Progress, the other System Lords grow restless. Cronus has never needed an excuse to attempt to snap at our borders, but now Olokun thinks himself capable of such feats as well. He is massing a fleet of Ha'taks and an Army of Jaffa near the world of Abomey, thinking that his Cursor'va have been able to keep such a buildup hidden from me. No doubt he intends to strike at the world of Longinus again." Began Lord Yu.

"Olokun is a fool. A fleet that would be capable of taking Longinus would be impossible to hide, even with the best agents available." I pointed out.

"Yes, that is obvious to any who are not addled by the palm wine that Olokun insists on imbibing on any occasion. However, I am afraid that does not change the facts at hand. Olokun will attack Longinus soon. You will accompany me for the battle and learn how things are done." Commanded Lord Yu.

"As you wish." I aceded.

"It is unlikely that Olokun will attack before the next standard month. You will have one month to learn what you may before then. My libraries are open to you, within reason. My Lo'taur, Jarren, will provide you with the appropriate access codes." Informed Lord Yu.

"And should I wish training in arms?" I questioned.

"The Library contains a number of devices for flash training, should you decide to become a Warrior God. I would advise you not to expend too much effort on such paths. Yours is the road of the General, not the common, mortal soldier." Insisted Lord Yu.

"Thank you, My Lord. Will there be anything else?" I queried.

"Only that this is a grace period that no other System Lord would afford to their Underlords. I, however, am not just any System Lord. I trust you will remember that going forward." Intoned Lord Yu.

"Of course. Benevolence is one of the qualities you are known for, My Lord." I nodded.

"Then you are dismissed." Finished Lord Yu.

I gave a bow to Lord Yu before turning on my heel and heading to find Jarren. The Lo'taur had the access codes to the libraries I'd be allowed in and I would need to really hit the books if I was going to be going to war with Olokun in a month at Lord Yu's side. Fortunately, Yu was probably the best System Lord I could have gotten for an Overlord. He was pragmatic, reasonable, and actually engaged in diplomacy, unlike literally everyone else. True, he could be ruthless as well, but if I played my cards right, I could steer my way into being the power behind the throne once his Space Dementia kicked into full gear.

Of course, I also needed to figure out just when in the timeline we were. It seemed like Ra was still alive, which meant the Movie hadn't happened yet, but I had no way of knowing how much time I had before Earth came along to muck with everything. Fortunately, the Goa'uld at least made that simple. The Third Dynasty Period, which we were currently in, started in One AD, which meant the date should match up with the date on Earth. I had a lot to do, so I'd best get to it.

One trip to Jarren's quarters later and I had an access code for Lord Yu's Library. The Bearded Lo'taur was younger than I remembered him being, early thirties instead of early forties. Of course, my memories of him were solely from the show and he'd been in one episode set in the two-thousands so that at least gave me a relative time frame to work with. For now, though, I headed to Lord Yu's Library.

It was time to see what I could pick up from flash training and data slates instead of genetic memory. . .

XXXX

It turned out that it was currently the Autumn of the One-thousandth-nine-hundredth-and-ninety-fourth Year of the Third Goa'uld Dynasty. That meant that it was currently nineteen-ninety-four on Earth. That meant we had a little over a year before Ra would wind up being nuked at Abydos and the Go'auld Empire descended into a free-for-all over the vacant position of Supreme System Lord.

I'd have to get powerful enough in that time to unify the Goa'uld when the time came, not an easy task given their various impulses tended toward being a bunch of crabs in a bucket. I might be able to channel those impulses into less destructive pursuits. It seemed to work out for Lord Yu, but then, Yu was old enough to remember the Alliance of Four Races, back before Anubis was banished, the Ancients Ascended, the Asgard turned inward, the Furlings disappeared, and the Nox hid away. He would have come up as a young underlord before the Goa'uld were the unquestioned masters of the Galaxy.

Heck, if I remember right, Yu was even older than the Sarcophagus Technology, which likely explained why he was a lot saner than most of the others. Repeated Sarcophagus use tends to drive a person progressively more insane in various ways and I had a theory that while a Mind as Strong as Yu's could bounce back from that, most Goa'uld alive today were a lot younger and had less defined personalities. Combined with the Genetic Memory propagating the neuroses and pretty much everyone not named Yu or Ra was absolutely balls to the wall paranoid, megalomaniacal, and downright psychotic. I probably only escaped that fate thanks to my unique circumstances.

Regardless, the library. Of course, I started with the Flash Training, fitting the headset to myself. Honestly, this sort of thing was usually only done to train up clones that had been quickly grown. Things like Ba'al's various experiments with cloned troops to supplement his Jaffa forces. It wasn't exactly as good as real experience, but I was in a time crunch. As the machine whirred to life, knowledge beamed directly into my head and muscle memory. Martial Arts, weapons drills, marksmanship, piloting, demolitions, everything I'd need to at least be capable enough that I wouldn't embarrass myself or Lord Yu on the field of battle.

Of course, there was also the indoctrination stuff that went with it, trying to drill loyalty and obedience to the Jade Emperor into my mind as well. I was curiously able to let that stuff slide off without soaking in, though. I had no idea if that was because I was also a Goa'uld or if it was something Oma Desala had given me. She'd mentioned an Enhanced Mind, after all. Once the program was over, I lifted the headset off my head and moved to crack open the first of the technical, historical, and tactical data slates I had piled up near me.

As I did so, I beheld the schematics for the Ma'tok staff weapon. I frowned, it looked like things were a lot more simplistic than I'd thought for this. It was as if the Genetic Memory I had from being a Goa'uld could put together a more sophisticated version, but that wouldn't be something that a bunch of slaves who couldn't read or write would be able to put together in the workshops. It also seemed to be inefficient in several ways that my Oma Desala-granted mental abilities were pointing out. I'd have to do the math, but I think I could make a Ma'tok that was far more accurate and had more punch than anything currently in use.

Frowning, I asked one of the Palace Servants, a Twenty-something Woman with vaguely Khmer Features named Neang, for paper and ink to write with. She bowed and scurried away before coming back with writing tools. I thanked her, which caused her to bow more deeply, and then got to work. Six hours later, I was looking at a full scroll of calculations that seemed to bear out my assessment. The current Ma'tok Staff Weapon could be made far more efficient and sophisticated.

"There ought to be a way to streamline it while maintaining enough sophistication that it retains some of the enhanced capabilities." I frowned to myself, thinking.

There was only one thing for it. I was going to need to ask my Uncle for a Workshop. I wouldn't be able to test any of this until I could build a prototype. Besides, if the Ma'tok Staff Weapon had been crudely dumbed down for ease of production by a slave workforce, the odds were good that the rest of the standard slate of Goa'uld tech had likewise been dumbed down. Even the staff in my Genetic Memory seemed to be not as refined as it was possible to make the tech, which seemed to point to more than just the degradation of the Goa'uld's mental state due to the sarcophagus.

If I could pitch Lord Yu on the new model of Staff Weapon, I might be able to actually start climbing the ranks before my month's grace period was up. If I impressed him enough, he might even give me a world to govern to cut my teeth on, and then I could start making real changes. That would come in time, though. For now, I had to convince him to just give me a workshop.

You had to walk before you could run, after all. . .

XXXX

"You want a workshop? What for?" Intoned Lord Yu.

"I believe I can make more powerful, more accurate, and all-around better staff weapons." I answered.

"Of course you can. The Ma'tok is simple for a reason. Our subjects are not technically adept. They serve their gods as peasants serve their Lord, as is right and just. They would be unable of constructing such sophisticated weaponry." Scoffed Lord Yu.

"I believe I can make it so that more powerful weapons might still be produced by a workforce of Serfs with basic literacy and numeracy." I informed.

"I sense your. . .distaste for the state of our worshippers. Do not allow such weakness to take root in your mind. The foolish Tok'ra did so, and for their impudence have been rendered to ashes and scattered to the four winds. We rule because it is the natural state of the Galaxy for Gods to rule their worshippers. Never forget that." Rebuked Lord Yu.

"Of course, My Lord. However, the question arises as to whether it is better to be loved or feared." I offered.

"A philosophical question that has long since been settled. Your enemies will not see such abundant benevolence as anything beyond weakness. They will attack, and you will be slain." Informed Lord Yu.

"Then perhaps we should look at it in terms of enlightened self-interest. Affording our subjects better care reduces the risk of rebellion. Surely that is a goal worth pursuing?" I offered.

"Indeed. It is a path I have traveled before. That is why I have ensured that our worshippers are treated without undue cruelty and that they always have full stomachs. You believe that allowing them basic literacy and numeracy would go further than that while also letting them build these more powerful staff weapons?" Asked Lord Yu.

"I do. The more benevolent treatment would cancel out the increased risk of revolt from such a measure. it will also allow the production of better weapons for your forces. Surely a God as renowned for August Benevolence as you can see the benefits?" I tried.

"Indeed. However, you would need to prove such a staff weapon could be made first before I allow such an. . .experiment." Pointed out Lord Yu.

"Grant me my workshop and I will get to work on such a weapon." I tried.

"Very well. There are any number of workshops lying about the palace which I might grant you. Gods come and go and many pick up such hobbies and discard them over time. You may pick whichever one you like and the Servants will bring materials to you for this attempt at creating a new, more potent, staff weapon." Commanded Lord Yu.

"Thank you, My Lord." I bowed.

Soon enough, I was ensconced in a workshop deep within the bowels of the Celestial Palace, ready to get to work. . .

XXXX

For the next two weeks, my life consisted primarily of reading tactical or technical data slates in between design and fabrication work on my improved staff weapon. It was a lot of work, even for a Goa'uld who has my own mental advantages. Unlike many other Goa'uld, I was diligent in my work. Instead of lazing about in decadence like some Go'auld I could name, I kept my nose to the grindstone.

Oddly enough, it seemed that Neang had been assigned to me as my Lo'taur. Mind you, I'd scarcely interacted with her, but then, I didn't really have the status for a proper Lo'taur to begin with. That didn't stop Neang from diligently doing what she could to act in that capacity anyway. She made sure I ate and rested, even if I was insistent on getting things done.

Finally, after twelve days of design and fabrication of parts, it was time for the assembly of my new Staff Weapon. Ergonomically, it was designed less like a staff and more like a rifle, with a defined stock for better aim. However, I had also taken the liberty of adding spikes. The end result was seemingly a combination of the Ma'tok and a Spiked War Club, allowing the retention of melee capability that would see the Jaffa still willing to adopt the weapon. It honestly looked a bit like a Kroot Rifle from Warhammer Forty-Thousand back on Earth.

Internally, however, things were radically different. I totally overhauled the Electroplasma Distribution System. I didn't get too fancy with it, I wanted this to be capable of being assembled by people with basic literacy and numeracy. Still, there were several workarounds that I threw in that should allow for a more potent weapon while still being capable of being mass-produced. I was particularly proud of the heat redirection system that used simple heat baffles to redirect excess heat back into the plasma bolt, adding power.

It was as I tested the new weapon that I knew I had something. A captured suit of Jaffa Armor from Cronus' Elite Guard of Ages was set up as a target in a courtyard. The Guard of Ages was well-known for having heavier armor than usual for a Jaffa Force, which was why only the physically strongest of Cronus' forces were inducted into the Guard of Ages. The Heavier Armor took two hits from a standard Matok to burn through.

Up above the Courtyard, watching from a balcony, Lord Yu peered down at me as I hefted the new-model Staff Weapon. He gazed down imperiously and ordered the testing to begin. With that, I put the weapon up to my shoulder breathed in, then fired a single pulse of plasma as I breathed out.

The bolt flew toward the chest of the Guard of Ages Armor and struck true, vaporizing the chestplate in a cloud of superheated shrapnel that peppered the side of pork underneath, even as the pork charred black from the plasma wash. That would definitely kill a Jaffa in a single hit. Just to make sure, I fired again, vaporizing the fully enclosed, Corinthian-esque Helmet. Two more shots saw the legs sawn off, followed by two more for the arms. Each bolt of plasma destroyed the armor plating and each was unerringly accurate.

As I shouldered the weapon, Lord Yu was clapping from his balcony up above. I gave a bow to my Overlord, which seemed to please him.

"And you say this can be put together by anyone with basic literacy and numeracy?" Demanded Lord Yu.

"So long as they are capable of following step-by-step instructions, yes. That isn't all. I believe most of our technology can be similarly upgraded." I informed.

"I see. I will give you leave to educate as many workers as you think you are able through flash instruction. Set them to work producing these new weapons, make enough to equip a Battalion of Jaffa. Do you have a name for these new weapons?" Instructed Lord Yu.

"Tianyan. The Eye of Heaven." I answered.

"A good name." Nodded Lord Yu.

And with that, I'd just taken my first step up the ladder of power in the Goa'uld Empire. Hopefully, I would be able to prove at least to Lord Yu that you could get a lot farther by using Noblesse Oblige and treating your subjects right than you could by the state of perpetual serfdom he tended to keep the bulk of the people in his Domain in. At the very least, it would allow the production of better equipment, and that sort of thing does its own talking.

By the time that we had to go fight Olokun, not only had I succeeded in flash-training enough of a workforce in basic literacy and numeracy to produce enough Tianyin for two battalions of Jaffa, but I also had managed to craft myself some extremely customized armor. That contained dozens of different technologies from the shielded armor plating of the older Udajeet Fighters to Illempri Powered Servos from back before the Conquest of the Ilempri and their forced addiction to Roshna, to the Tel'tak's HUD, Ohne-derived Life Support, and Kara Kesh-derived shielding, sensors, and neural interfaces.

Unfortunately, to get this mishmash of technologies from different eras and locations to work, I had to do a significant bit of redesign work on it all. It couldn't be streamlined as yet, possibly ever. That sort of precluded this from being anything but an artisan job. It was the best I was going to get, however. On the first of the new month, Lord Yu called me to his throne room and when I arrived, he transported us both to his Ha'tak.

We were going to battle whether I was ready or not. . .

XXXX

AN: This is something I plan to work on sporadically. It's a Goa'uld Self-Insert with the ultimate goal of going through the timeline to the end of SG-One. The SI is a member of Lord Yu's Domain, which is actually one of the more pleasant places in the Galaxy to be a Human. Yu likes to use the carrot more than the stick out of a sense of enlightened self-interest. He's more rational than most of the System Lords because he's old enough to remember when the Asgard, Nox, and Furlings were still kicking around regularly. He's older than Sarcophagus Tech, which means he isn't as riddled with neuroses to begin with either.

Unfortunately, he's going to be struck with incurable Space Dementia in a decade or so, meaning that the SI plans to take over his domain and effectively turn it into a state that doesn't run off Serfdom or Slavery. For now, though, it's a decent starting position.

A lot of this is going to include my own worldbuilding mixing with stuff from supplemental materials like the RPG. Yes, that means I plan to have the SI run across Himmel, the colony set up by the Nazis in the thirties while they had the Russian DHD, among other things.

I don't know if you guys would care for it, so do let me know in the comments if you want to see more of this.

If you guys do want more, the next chapter will involve the start of Olokun's attack on Longinus.

Let me know. . .