Chapter 4

Erlang Shen was the first God to speak up. He had a great booming fucking voice as he called the various Gods to listen up and pay attention to him. Jackie didn't need to be told twice to listen up, but it seemed like some of the Gods present ain't as savvy. Xihe was too busy making eyes at Aeolus of Olympus to pay much attention to war planning. She ain't even paying attention to her three-legged crow who was busy flying around the throne room.

It took Sun Wukong's intervention to get Xihe to pay attention. He walked right over to the Sun Goddes and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Oi, pay attention! If your crow shits on my head, I'm gonna have to make like Hou Yi did and shoot it down!" He snapped.

"How dare you!" Snarled Xihe. She wreathed her hand in divine Sunfire and swung full-on at Sun Wukong, only for him to turn into a blackened strand of crispy hair once the slap connected.

"Come on, you didn't think I'd get in fire slap range, did you? What kind of trickster God do you think I am? Seriously, though pay attention!" Shouted Sun Wukong, popping up near Jackie.

"Indeed, thank you Monkey. Now if we're all listening I can begin talking about the situation." Cut in Erlang Shen, immediately taking control of the situation. Jackie grinned slightly at that, after all, you gotta admire a guy who can take control of a whole room like that.

"Now, as I was saying, the situation is dire. Olympus has been cut off from the other Godly Realms and the mortal world by Cersei's hordes of Beastmen, fortified with alchemy that I am told was reverse-engineered from formulae proprietary to a Cultivation Family. They have already taken the lower two levels of Olympus completely with the aid of several renegade Gods and Demi-Gods. The third level is currently a battleground. I am told if they reach the fourth level, then something drastic will happen. Lord Poseidon, can you shed any light on this?" Began Erlang Shen.

"Drastic is an understatement. The fourth level of Olympus contains Demeter's Garden. Should the renegades gain access to it, they will be able to control the harvest for a significant fraction of the Mortal World. We may not have so much influence over the Mortal World these days, but that is not a hindrance to Cersei's magic utilizing Demeter's Garden as a sympathetic focus." Informed Poseidon.

"We don't have to tell you what having control over the food supply of the Mortal Nations of Greece, Italy, Macedonia, Cyprus, Albania, Markovia, and Kasnia will do for Cersei and her group, do we? If you can't imagine it, I'll spell it out for you. She can use that control to blackmail those nations for worship in exchange for allowing them to feed themselves again. That's over seventy-five million Mortals. Even if they each gave the rebels a pittance in worship every day, that would make them insurmountably powerful." Explained Aeolus.

"Which means we have to defeat them before they can reach Demeter's Garden." Added Princess Diana.

"That's great, but if the rebels have the lower levels secured, how do we do that?" Questioned Caishen.

"There is one way we can go, but it is fraught with peril. A small strike force may slip in through the old Ganymede Tunnels. The Rebels do not believe anyone would be foolhardy enough to try because the Ganymede tunnels are home to the Colchian Dragon. It has been the Dragon's home since Medea's death. Circe herself brought the Dragon to Olympus. Whoever faces it must be at least as powerful as I am to stand a chance." Offered Princess Diana.

Jackie ain't too sure what got into him, but when Princess Diana said that, he finally spoke up for the first time this whole shebang. He figured he'd probably regret it later, but right now the temptation of having dragon parts around to work enchantments into was too much.

"Fuck it. I'll volunteer!" He exclaimed.

"You, Mortal? I commend your courage, but I must ask if you have a death wish?" Queried Poseidon.

"Why not? Always wanted to slay a Dragon, and since they all fucked off outta the Mortal Realm, I figure I ain't about to get another shot." Shrugged Jackie.

"Jackie, I have to ask, is this because your relationship is falling apart? There are easier ways of committing suicide, you know. Besides, it's hardly that bad." Hedged Princess Diana.

"What're you trying to say? You don't think I got what it takes?" Retorted Jackie.

"I didn't say that, but it's a tall order. Even with the training you've undergone. . ." Tried Princess Diana.

"Oi, are you trying to say I trained him poorly? That's a fine way to insult your hosts!" Cut in Sun Wukong.

"I didn't mean to imply that." Huffed Princess Diana.

"He may be crude, but he is my descendant, and thus the blood of Leigong. If you mean to imply that he cannot handle a single Dragon, then I'm afraid that you have indeed given us insult." Added Lady Meifeng.

"Indeed. I can vouch for his training." Offered Sha Wujing.

"As can I. Our student may be even cruder than Brother Monkey at times, but you shouldn't let his speech patterns fool you! He's got this." Agreed Zhu Baije.

 Jackie'd never thought he'd have literal Gods going to bat for him, but he guessed desperate times made for strange bedfellows or some shit like that. Still, he couldn't help but be touched by the vote of confidence.

"Brother Piggsy, Brother Sandy, Sifu. Thanks, I mean it. You too Ancestor, you guys've got my back and I ain't gonna forget it." Nodded Jackie.

"Just kick that Dragon's ass and we'll call it even." Huffed Sun Wukong.

"While not as crudely put as Sun Wukong, I must echo that sentiment. Win and come back alive, Descendant. The Blood of Leigong should do no less." Intoned Lady Meifeng.

"Fine. Let the mortal go through the Ganymede Tunnels. I am placing him under your care, Diana of Themyscira. Should he fall, which he likely will, you are charged with completing this mission." Acknowledged Poseidon.

"We won't fail you, Lord Poseidon." Answered Princess Diana.

"See that you don't. If we're to keep Demeter's Garden out of the Rebel's hands, it will be necessary." Nodded Aeolus.

"Speaking of which, the rest of our strike force will assault the Rebel Rearguard on the First Level as a distraction. Thankfully, I have identified a number of weak points in their defenses utilizing my All-Seeing-Eye. They have the gates and portals well covered, but that has spread their forces on the battlements thin enough that a concentrated strike by our best fighters might blow through it. Be warned, however, that Ares' command post is on the First Level of Olympus. You are likely to run into him and at least one other Rebel God, likely Phobos or Deimos." Informed Erlang Shen.

"And while we hit the command post, we draw off potential enemy troops from their advance further into the Third Level of Olympus. Clever. Who will be going to hit that command post?" Asked Guandi.

"Obviously, that's where I'll be." Snorted Sun Wukong.

"Indeed, as will I." Added Erlang Shen.

"If Brother Monkey is going, then Brother Sandy and I are going too." Chimed in Zhu Baije.

"Indeed. The Three Pilgrims in action together once again. If only Sifu Tripitaka had not ascended to Nirvana and were around to see this day come." Concurred Sha Wujing.

"Sure, if he wasn't kidnapped by our enemies or something." Smirked Sun Wukong.

"He did need an awful lot of rescuing." Mused Zhu Baije.

"Enough! It is likely that there will be several battles, and we must plan for who consolidates our gains on the First Level while Myself, Wukong, Zhu Baije, and Sha Wujing advance further into Olympus." Interrupted Erlang Shen.

"I will take charge of that. Would Lady Xihe be averse to acting as my partner in such a duty?" Questioned Zhurong.

"Not at all. I so rarely get to unleash my wrath since Hou Yi decided he was endowed to shoot down any poor bird that might strike his fancy." Answered Xihe.

"You take that back! Hou Yi would not have had to shoot down your Nine other Crows had they not been constantly scorching the Earth! It was his duty to defend the Mortals!" Hissed Chang'e from across the Hall.

"And where is your Husband? I don't see the vaunted God of Archery in this hall?" Sneered Xihe.

"Hou Yi has been given a different mission. He is tutoring a Mortal Hero in the use of divine archery. I sent him there myself and as such his whereabouts are beyond questioning!" Spoke up the Jade Emperor, halting the brewing argument in its tracks.

"Of course, Your Augustness. If he has been sent to do works in the Mortal World by you, then I withdraw my question." Bowed Xihe.

"Perhaps next time you will remember this moment when next you interrupt an important meeting in the Throne Room of Heaven." Chimed in Xiwangmu.

"Indeed. Shall we continue with the War Council, now? As much as watching Lady Sun and Lady Moon bicker is, this is more important. I believe we need more Gods to consolidate gains as well as a reconnaissance and headquarters group." Intoned Houtu.

"I shall take the field and help consolidate any gains. There are places on Olympus that holdouts may hide in wait which only one who is native to Olympus would know to search. I shall take charge there." Insisted Poseidon.

"Which leaves our Headquarters Group. Wenchang Wang, Caishen, Guandi. Would you be opposed to handling the Administrative, Quartermaster, and Planning Duties?" Queried Erlang Shen.

"Not at all. If you are lending your martial prowess to the front, then I must by necessity handle planning at headquarters." Responded Guandi.

"I'm not much of a fighter anyways, nor is Caishen. No offense." Offered Wenchang Wang.

"None taken. Quartermaster suits me just fine." Agreed Caishen.

"Which leaves scouting. I think perhaps that Lady Chang'e should help there. No sense mixing fire and water, or in this case, Sun and Moon." Mused Xiwangmu.

"Agreed. Having Lady Xihe and Lady Chang'e on the same duties or even in the same general area can only sow discord in our camp." Replied Houtu.

"So who else will scout? Do we have any volunteers?" Asked Erlang Shen.

"I will. As Lord Poseidon said, it's best to have a native deal with certain things." Shrugged Aeolus.

"I shall also aid in scouting. As the Daughter of Leigong, flight is one of my many powers. Besides, you never know when you might need someone to rain thunder from above." Volunteered Lady Meifang.

"Then unless there are any sudden volunteers, I believe we have our plan. Are there any sudden volunteers?" Questioned Erlang Shen.

"Unfortunately, I am needed here. There is something of a problem brewing between Fu De Zheng Sheng and Tua Pek Gong over who is to be the supreme tutelary deity of Singapore. Apparently, there are more Han Chinese in the City than there used to be and it's causing Fu De Zheng Sheng to grow in strength. He's threatening to eclipse Tua Pek Gong as the Hokkien population no longer makes up the large proportion of the Chinese Population of Singapore as it once did. The whole thing could get very messy very quickly and I will be required to manage it." Demurred Houtu.

"And I shall stay with my Husband here in the Jade Palace." Nodded Xiwangmu.

"Then it seems we have our initial strategy and forces set. We march for Olympus tomorrow morning. Make what preparations you believe are necessary." Intoned Erlang Shen.

"Very good! This War Council is hereby ended by my decree! May fortune smile upon you all, Brave Warriors of Mount Meru!" Pronounced the Jade Emperor.

Soon enough, Jackie found himself shanghaied by Sun Wukong, Zhu Baije, and Sha Wujing, corralled into a trip to a Teahouse on one of the Upper Terraces. He ain't no stranger to booze, as he'd been pretty sauced when Princess Diana'd brought him to Mount Meru, but he ain't touched a drop of the stuff while he'd been here. It looked like all that was gonna change tonight.

"We're going to war tomorrow. Who knows, you might even die! Any of us might die. Well, probably not me. I'm the best, after all." Grinned Sun Wukong by way of explanation.

"Brother Monkey is bragging, but there is a point to be made about one last drink before war." Offered Sha Wujing.

"Besides, we need to give you a nickname of your own. Tonight's as good a night as any!" Concurred Zhu Baije.

The Teahouse they started their drinking at was one of those fancy outdoor ones. All natural lighting in the daylight and paper lanterns at night. It ain't exactly the kinda rundown dive bars and Gotham Blues Clubs Jackie was used to. Hell, the place was even nicer than any of his nightclubs'd been, either in Gotham or Star City, though given it was a Teahouse where Gods and their various minions drank, that ain't surprising. What was surprising was how strong the booze was.

Sun Wukong'd ordered something that came outta some kinda black stoneware jar with a red label on it in a variant of Chinese so Old that even Jackie's Uncles ain't taught him how to read it. If they had, he'd probably avoided drinking so much of it. He downed his first cup of the Baiju and it tasted like peaches and flowers, but also immediately hit him like a goddamn truck the second he finished his cup.

"Gah! What the fuck was that shit?" Demanded Jackie, coughing.

"That was one of Yidi's special reserve vintages. It's called Tears from the Cinnabar Orchard. You should probably not have downed that in one go. Unless you're a god, it's best to pace yourself with that." Answered Sha Wujing.

"The fuck is in that?" Pressed Jackie.

"Green Cinnabar Peaches, Crushed Throne Lotus, and Huli Jing Tears. Congratulations! You should be immune to most poisons now since you drank that and didn't die." Laughed Sun Wukong.

"Fuck that, gimme another cup!" Insisted Jackie.

"Are you sure you don't want to switch to an easier drink? You've proven you can handle it already." Frowned Zhu Baije.

"I said hit me!" Reiterated Jackie.

"Your funeral, Kid." Chuckled Sun Wukong as he poured another drink.

Jackie slammed back that one too and fought down the burning shit in his chest. He was pretty sure his face looked like he'd just bitten into a lemon, but he didn't care. Jackie Yuen ain't no bitch, and he ain't about to let anyone claim otherwise, even if he was starting to feel a bit buzzed. He called for another and slammed it back too.

After the fourth hit of the God of Wine's special vintage, the rest of the day went by in a blur, and Jackie ain't too sure how it progressed beyond a few generalities. He remembered getting dragged to two more teahouses with less strong booze and still somehow winding up juggling knives at one of them. After that, though he got nothing.

He was woken up with a pounding headache in his bed at Lady Meifeng's place by Sun Wukong shaking him awake with a shit-eating grin on his simian face. Jackie sat up suddenly and instantly regretted it, wincing as the mother of all headaches hit him. He blinked the spots out of his eyes to see Sun Wukong's grin'd only gotten wider.

"Anyone ever tell you you got a punchable face when you're smug?" Queried Jackie.

"All the time. Drink this and get dressed, Brother Drinky. We've got a muster to get to. You've also got a little present from me, Brother Sandy, and Brother Piggsy waiting for you downstairs. Hop to it!" Smirked Sun Wukong, pressing a flask of something into Jackie's hands.

Jackie downed it and immediately the fucking drum solo in his skull started to wind down. By the time he got outta bed and dressed, it'd gone from a concert-level Drum Solo to a low thrumming. He exited his room and went downstairs to find his present. A pair of Mystically-Imbued Godmetal Butterfly Swords alloyed with True Jade Powder and chased in Ghost Brass. They had a sheathe of Luduan Leather embossed with mystic script. They were a fucking thing of beauty.

"We figured you'd need a weapon capable of going toe to toe with Gods, just in case you ran into more than just a Demi-God or Dragon on Olympus. Now come on, we've gotta go!" Nodded Sun Wukong.

Jackie chased after him and by the time he'd gotten to the Muster Point on the Top Terrace of Mount Meru, it'd stopped entirely. He met up with Princess Diana, all armored up complete with sword and shield. Suddenly he found himself and the Princess whisked away by some kinda whirlwind from Aeolus that somehow transported them to a giant yawning cave mouth at the base of a Mountain that went all the way up past the clouds.

"Here we are, the Entrance to the Ganymede Tunnels. Be warned, once we enter either the Dragon dies or we do." Informed Princess Diana, Gravely.

Jackie'd been thrown into the fray so quick he almost missed the fact that he'd apparently picked up a nickname. Brother Drinky, probably 'cause of shit that went down during his little bar crawl with Brother Monkey, Brother Piggsy, and Brother Sandy. He shrugged to himself as he moved to follow Princess Diana into the Tunnels. He'd been called worse before, after all. At least this time it wasn't 'The Mysterious Stranger' that shit'd been kinda embarrassing and only slightly less than it would've been normally 'cause Babs hadn't known who he was at the time.

"Keep focused." Chided Princess Diana.

Jackie nodded and focused up, there ain't time for walks down memory lane or thinking about his newest nickname. With a dragon up ahead, he'd gotta keep his head in the game, or else he'd probably wind up losing it to some Dragon's lunch. He could talk to Brother Monkey about the name if he survived. The darkness of the tunnels swallowed both him and Princess Diana up and Jackie focused on the task at hand.

Time to slay a fucking dragon. . .

XXXX

AN: All right, here we get the planning stage of the relief of Mount Olympus. Jackie's going with Wonder Woman up the Ganymede Tunnels to face the Colchian Dragon and hopefully be able to come up out of the tunnels and hit the Rebel Gods from the flank while they're focused on the relief force.

Meanwhile, we also get to see a little bit of the court rivalries that Jackie could've touched off by saying the wrong thing to the wrong God, or in this case, Goddess. Chang'e and Xihe do not like each other, at all.

It goes back to the IRL Chinese Myth of Hou Yi shooting down the suns. See, in ancient China, three-legged crows were the personification of the ten suns in the days back before there was only one sun. Hou Yi, the Excellent Archer shot down nine of them because having ten of them in the sky all the time was causing major droughts for the Mortals. He got made the God of Archery for his trouble and Married Chang'e, Goddess of the Moon. Of course, those crows were the pets of Xihe, Goddess of the Sun, so she's got a grudge against Hou Yi and Chang'e by extension.

Also, Jackie finally got fully accepted as one of Sun Wukong's Brothers, complete with Nickname. Surely that bodes nothing but good for him and won't involve a bored trickster god popping in on him every so often to make trouble for him in the future. Surely that won't wind up happening, not at all.

At any rate, the next chapter will be the encounter with the Colchian Dragon.

Stay tuned. . .