Naruto: Freeloading is Great! 2 [49]

The next day, in the classroom.

Before Hoshino even had a chance to get cozy with Hinata, Walking Wallet—who’d arrived at school ridiculously early—forcefully intervened.

And as if that wasn’t enough, Walking Wallet even rudely switched seats with Naruto, wedging himself directly between Hoshino and Hinata like the world’s biggest third wheel.

“What’s your problem? You have objections to having a top student sitting beside you?”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, aggressively confronting Hoshino.

In response, both Hoshino and Hinata simultaneously turned away and clicked their tongues loudly.

“What an eyesore. Here I was thinking we’d have fun playing a little game of mutual happiness under the desk.”

“A defeated dog barking bitterly as he disrupts other people’s happiness.”

As Hoshino voiced his scandalous thoughts, Hinata echoed in agreement.

Sasuke began to seriously wonder whether these two were actually wild animals.

Yes, it was springtime, but that didn’t mean their heads should be filled only with thoughts of mating, right? Wasn't studying supposed to be a student’s first duty!?

Realizing he had temporarily lost his chance for romance with Hinata, Hoshino reluctantly shifted his attention to Walking Wallet.

This guy looked completely normal, and his morals seemed okay—but how had he managed to become such a beast?

Before this, Hoshino never imagined the legendary scenario of “sending one’s own wife to seduce another” would actually play out right in front of him.

Yes, that revolting person was Uchiha Sasuke.

Ever since Hoshino had rejected Sasuke’s confession, Sasuke had been plotting this vile plan.

He intended to use Naruto—who lived with Hoshino—to achieve his twisted goal of getting closer to Hoshino himself!

Exactly. Sasuke’s scheme was to first give Naruto false affection, then use their bond to pressure Naruto into using her body to tempt Hoshino. Once Naruto and Hoshino had undeniable relations, Sasuke would suddenly leap out and declare, “Let’s all three of us be together forever!” or cruelly toss Naruto aside.

This Uchiha second son, utterly obsessed with him, was truly horrifyingly deranged!

This deduction had to be right. It was flawless, lining up every confusing detail perfectly.

Because…

1. After Hoshino rejected him, Sasuke abruptly fooled around with Naruto in the restroom.

2. Naruto endured massages from Hoshino for so long without complaining to anyone.

3. Naruto’s reluctant and awkward confession to Hoshino.

4. Naruto’s strange talk about responsibility, as though she’d finally snapped.

All these clues formed a perfect chain of evidence!

Honestly, thinking about it clearly, it really was all his fault—being this perfect had caused Sasuke’s twisted obsession in the first place.

“Sigh… I truly am a man weighed down by sin. Is being too perfect also a crime?”

Hoshino sighed, shaking his head emotionally, causing Sasuke to nearly vomit and clamp a hand over his mouth.

It was honestly sickening. Every time Sasuke saw Hoshino wearing that melancholy expression, he struggled to control himself.

Th-this guy is seriously sighing emotionally over his own perfection!? That expression… he isn’t even joking—Bleghhh!

“Hoshino, have you… finally reached a true man’s highest state of being!? That’s right! Your determination and my muscles are both perfection incarnate! To reach such heights in just one week—truly… truly impressive!”

“Don’t praise him! It’s precisely because of people like you that Hoshino has become this stupid!”

As soon as Sakura-bro finished speaking, Sasuke kicked his chair out from under him, toppling him onto the floor.

Seeing that Walking Wallet had suddenly gotten angry, Hoshino swallowed back the words he'd planned to use to lecture him about cherishing Naruto. Clearly, the guy wasn’t in a state to listen to any advice right now. Best to save it for later.

Right. Regarding Sasuke’s identity as total scum…

Hoshino suddenly thought of another possibility.

Could it be that Naruto’s near-lifelong pursuit of Sasuke in canon wasn’t simply friendship at all, but because Sasuke had toyed with Naruto’s feelings—yet Naruto still refused to give up, stubbornly pursuing him?

Was the whole story actually about Naruto desperately chasing after an unfaithful husband!?

…And tragically failing!?

In the original, Sasuke didn’t end up with Naruto but married Sakura-bro instead.

Sure, Sasuke still regularly met up with Naruto, but two married people secretly meeting…

It suddenly felt like Sakura-bro’s and Hinata’s hair was glowing green!!

…But thankfully, this world has me now. I’ll never let that kind of tragedy repeat itself!

Sensing that Hoshino was suddenly radiating an overwhelming fighting spirit while staring at them with pity, Sasuke, Naruto, and Hinata simultaneously felt veins pop out on their foreheads.

Why am I suddenly so angry!? For some reason, I’m incredibly irritated!!! x3

As for Sakura-bro… he seemed weirdly excited, somehow thrilled by it all.

...

Class began.

“By now, I’m sure most of you already have at least some chakra. Even though you don’t have much yet due to your age, you can still begin practicing the basic three techniques. Talented students might even succeed on the first try!”

Iruka-sensei stood at the front, lecturing the class about today’s lesson.

Meaningless. Except for Naruto, this class was nothing but a basic intro session.

Not everyone was like that idiot Naruto, after all, who’d somehow had massive chakra reserves from the start.

Fortunately, chakra was one area where Hoshino was finally not dead last.

Like Walking Wallet, he’d recently gained a tiny sliver of chakra.

It was mildly comforting that he’d finally matched the genius Sasuke in something.

But that tiny sliver of chakra was practically useless—not even enough to activate chakra attribute testing paper. This waiting period was truly frustrating.

As time passed, Iruka-sensei moved from explaining the Transformation Technique and Clone Technique to finally reach the Substitution Technique.

Sigh. Substitution… I can’t even bother to listen. Who the hell came up with this idiotic jutsu anyway?

Not only did you have to put a block of wood in your original spot before being attacked, but then you also had to quickly perform a transformation jutsu on it to make it resemble yourself. And worst of all, after doing all of this, you had to secretly run off and hide in a corner without being noticed!

With all that spare time, wouldn’t it be simpler to just run away directly?

A technique that wasted time, chakra, and money buying replacement logs… all just so you could leap dramatically out of a corner and shout, “Surprise, I’m actually here!” It was only good for experts showing off—completely worthless in real combat.

—Seriously pointless.

Just as Hoshino thought this…

“As the name implies, the Substitution Technique is actually a space-time ninjutsu. When activated upon being attacked, it instantly teleports you to a nearby location you choose, consuming only one substitution log and a small amount of chakra.”

Crash—!

Hoshino fell out of his chair onto the floor.

“You damn salted fish! If you don’t wanna pay attention, then sleep quietly instead of causing trouble in my class!!”

“No… I didn’t intend to disrupt class, but that Substitution Technique you just explained—”

“What about it? Did I say anything wrong!?”

“…Of—of course you said something wrong! How is that supposed to be obvious from the name? Nothing about it sounds remotely like space-time ninjutsu! And how can something everyone can do be a space-time ninjutsu…!?”

As soon as Hoshino finished speaking, the entire class turned to stare at him as if he were mentally deficient. Their gazes practically shouted, “You seriously only figured that out now, you idiot?”

“…Fuck!”

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This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!