Naruto: Freeloading is Great! 2 [47]

Let's rewind a little bit.

For the umpteenth time, Hoshino dunked his face into the basin full of water, only jerking his head up when he was nearly suffocating.

The spring air was still chilly. No matter how many times he splashed cold water onto his face, his mind refused to calm down.

His reflection in the mirror—water dripping messily down his cheeks—looked utterly pathetic.

Can something like this actually happen?

It’s impossible. Even fairy tales wouldn’t dare go this far, let alone reality.

But…

Hoshino glanced at the magnifying glass lying beside the sink.

“…Waaaaaaaah—!! What a goddamn mess! All of it’s a mess! Why the hell are they girls!? And why are they popping up one after another—do they think my brain isn’t already messed up enough!? What's next, are they gonna tell me Sasuke’s a girl too? Bastards—!”

Giving up on reason, Hoshino shouted his grievances to the heavens.

Even though he’d blurted that out in frustration, there was no way that the Uchiha’s mighty second son could be female, no matter how you looked at it.

But calming down and thinking carefully… Naruto’s behavior was undeniably feminine. Not only did she often wear girls' underwear, but she’d also occasionally and quite naturally act cute…

What's going on? Is this my gay radar malfunctioning? Am I seeing everyone as gay because I myself am secretly gay!?

—No! It’s the Naruto author’s fault—and Naruto’s own!

If that author hadn’t instilled the wrong knowledge in me, this wouldn’t have happened!

But come to think of it, I’m not the only one who thought Naruto was a boy, right? Everyone else thought the same.

Right! It’s not my fault, and my gay radar is totally normal. If anyone’s to blame, it’s Naruto for being stupid!

Having found a reason to console himself, Hoshino began recalling everything he'd done in the past:

Beating and yelling at a little girl, forcing her to taste-test poison, making her handle all the housework… and then those nightly massages…!

“S-scum…! So those bastards were right all along—I really am hopeless scum! This is criminal, isn't it!? Without realizing it, I've committed countless unforgivable crimes against my favorite type of girl… What horrific things have I done!? M-my conscience hurts!”

Overwhelmed, Hoshino dramatically collapsed forward onto his knees, clutching his chest, eyes twitching in panic.

A certified lolicon had sunk into total self-denial.

After a long bout of agonizing introspection—long enough that the water on his face dried completely—Hoshino suddenly thought of something and rushed out of the house.

When he finally returned, breathless, he was carrying something in his hand.

It was a serving of takeout ramen from Ōtsutsuki Ichiraku’s shop.

He quickly washed a bowl, transferred the ramen into it, and then sneaked cautiously towards Naruto’s room.

As he carefully opened the door, Naruto, who’d just awakened, stared blankly at him like an idiot.

Did—did I knock her into genuine brain damage?

Feeling extremely guilty, Hoshino quickly slammed the door shut and ran back to his own room amid Naruto’s heart-wrenching screams.

...

“Come out! Hoshino, come out right now! If you don’t, I’ll break down the door!”

Naruto pounded furiously on the door. Dust shook loose with each bang.

Oh good, the kid’s IQ is still intact.

It looks like I won’t have to bring her to the hospital and risk getting turned into a vegetable by the Third or Kakashi.

Relieved, Hoshino opened the door.

Bang!

Naruto’s fist, still mid-knock, smashed directly into Hoshino’s face. He let out a faint groan.

“…Ah— S-sorry…!”

Conditioned by years of oppression, Naruto immediately ducked, covering her head in fear of retaliation.

But the expected kick never came. Instead, Hoshino gently took Naruto’s hand and helped her back up.

“It’s… fine. It was an honest mistake—don’t worry about it.”

“…Hss—!”

Naruto sucked in a sharp breath.

She’d kicked down his door and punched him in the face, yet he still didn’t retaliate? Th-this was completely out of character!

Naruto’s earlier apology was purely reflexive. Only after she apologized did she remember why she’d come here in the first place, but now… she didn’t even need to ask. Hoshino’s abnormal reaction already proved everything. She’d been defiled…!

“Um… Want some ramen? I already prepared it for you—h-hey, hey, hey! Why are you crying!? I just did something simple that anyone would do—don’t take it so seriously!”

“S-simple!? Anyone would do…? That's going way too far! You even took advantage of me while I was unconscious… I'll take you down with me—!!”

“Ehh—!? W-why would you say—”

Hoshino, talking about ramen, slowly backed away as Naruto radiated murderous intent.

This kid… why’s this girl suddenly so furious?

Because I helped her put clothes on?

…No, there’s no way she’s mad about that.

She never made a fuss despite my massages every night. Plus, she literally confessed to me just this morning. Besides, she has no idea I’d mistaken her for a gaylord this whole time.

There’s no logical reason she’d suddenly snap over something as minor as me helping her dress…

Could it be… her dormant masochism resurfaced? She doesn’t want me treating her too nicely?

Come to think of it, dressing her and preparing ramen for her… might indeed be too big a shift—too much kindness at once.

“My previous approach was… H-hey, you brat—feeling itchy, are you…! I-I'll beat you to death, you hear me?”

After Naruto punched him twice weakly in the chest, Hoshino stammered out his usual harsh threats.

Despite hesitating for a moment, he steeled himself and mercilessly kicked Naruto away.

“Uuu…uuu, you pervert! Scum! Bastard! Demon! Sex maniac—wahhh!”

“…”

Hoshino silently watched Naruto suddenly collapse onto the ground, wailing uncontrollably.

Should I comfort her or not?

…But if I comfort her, won’t she just get even more upset?

In the end, after a painful struggle with his conscience, Hoshino shakily lifted his foot and gently placed it atop Naruto’s head, pressing her sobbing face further into the floor.

“S-stop crying… Keep crying and I-I'll… I-I'll throw you outside!”

Hearing Hoshino threaten to abandon her again, Naruto felt her heart shatter completely, yet she slowly quieted down.

Th-that actually worked? This ki—this girl’s really too troublesome.

After taking several deep breaths, Hoshino forcibly suppressed his lingering pity, withdrew his foot, and gestured towards the ramen on the table.

“Go eat your ramen! Whatever you want to say, say it after you're finished!”

“…”

Without another word, Naruto wiped her tears and slowly walked toward the dining table.

It’s come to this point. Nothing she could say would undo what happened.

While eating ramen, Naruto tried to decide whether she should drag Hoshino down with her or quietly accept her fate.

…Wait. Isn’t this exactly what she’d been mentally preparing herself for anyway, even if it had come a bit sooner and more abruptly than expected?

Then she’d use this incident as blackmail, forcing Hoshino—this ultimate scum—to abandon any thoughts of other girls and fully commit to her sacrifice plan… Uuu, but—but she still wanted to cry.

Meanwhile, while Naruto was still caught up in her complicated thoughts, Hoshino had already finished his own bowl of ramen.

Fully understanding that acting meant seeing it through, Hoshino convinced himself this ramen was something Naruto had bought for him under his coercion—not something he’d voluntarily purchased himself. Otherwise, this masochistic Naruto would cry again.

Even so, Naruto was now undeniably a young girl. He couldn’t behave as harshly as before; he needed to show at least a bit of courtesy.

“Thanks for the meal.”

“T-thanks!? Y-you clearly did everything yourself… You know I’m already suffering, yet you still intentionally say something like that? F-fine, I'll accept it! J-just please, please don’t keep tormenting me… Y-you’re… welcome… Please continue… no, I-I can't say it! Waaahh—!”

Under Hoshino’s utterly bewildered gaze, Naruto burst into tears once again.

…So even thanking her can trigger her tears now? She's becoming more and more like Sakura-bro every day.

Sigh… I should probably keep her far away from Sakura-bro from now on.

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This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!