Naruto: Freeloading is Great! 2 [39]

A bizarre scene. Absolutely no idea how things devolved into this.

Just as Hoshino was preparing to team up with Sakura-bro and chase off the SasuNaru duo, someone else rushed into the room from outside.

“What nonsense are you talking about, ‘lover’? I can’t just pretend I didn’t hear that—because Hoshino’s lover is me!”

“Eh??” ×4

It wasn’t just Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura-bro who were stunned by Hinata’s words; Hoshino himself was equally dumbfounded.

“…Why are you shocked along with them, Hoshino?!”

Facing Hinata’s accusatory glare, Hoshino felt utterly baffled.

Seeing Hoshino’s obvious confusion and shock, Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura-bro instantly understood—Hinata was “lying”!

“Hahaha, Hinata-san, you’re hilarious. To say such an obvious lie right in front of the involved party…! As the official, openly acknowledged lover of our honorable Hoshino, I won’t let you spout nonsense. Unlike you, I actually have proof: Hoshino accepted my confession right in front of his ex-lover Naruto!”

“Ehh!?” ×4

Sakura-bro’s declaration made everyone else gasp simultaneously.

Sasuke and Hinata being shocked was understandable, since this was their first time hearing about Sakura’s strange relationship with Hoshino.

But oddly enough… Hoshino and Naruto also looked equally stunned. They could somewhat grasp the confession part, but Naruto being the “ex-lover”? They couldn’t wrap their minds around it—when had this misunderstanding come about?

At this moment, Sasuke and Hinata, seeing Hoshino and Naruto’s genuine surprise, immediately concluded that Sakura-bro must be lying.

Because the two of them clearly knew Naruto actually was Hoshino’s ex. Yet, seeing Naruto and Hoshino’s surprise meant those two weren’t aware that Sakura-bro claimed to be Hoshino’s lover—meaning Sakura-bro was definitely “lying!” He wasn’t the lover Hoshino had acknowledged!

“Compared to me, Sakura-bro, you’re the truly laughable one. You’re just a commoner and a perverted homo on top of that. What exactly do you think qualifies you to compete against someone like me? Family status? Kekkei Genkai? You don’t have either of those. Or is it technique you want to compete on? As someone who has diligently practiced on dolls, my skill at ‘bedroom techniques’ is something you have absolutely no hope of matching. So, I advise you to withdraw quickly before completely humiliating yourself. Oh, and you too, Sasuke-san—this battle will undoubtedly be won by me, Hyūga Hinata!”

“EHHH!!!??”

“…” ×3

This time, only Hoshino was shocked by Hinata’s words, while the other three looked thoughtful.

“Why exactly are you shocked!?” ×4

The four of them simultaneously turned their questioning gazes on Hoshino.

“...N-no... Shouldn't I be the one asking you? How can you all not be shocked by that?”

Hoshino stared blankly, his mind utterly chaotic. His thoughts felt tangled like a messy ball of yarn, completely unable to straighten them out.

There were several questions he desperately wanted answered.

Judging by Hinata’s words—though it might sound conceited, this probably was just one of a man’s three classic delusions: ‘She likes me’—he couldn't help but feel Hinata wasn’t in love with Naruto, but rather himself.

Moreover, Hinata seemed absolutely certain she and I are already lovers… What on earth is going on here?

And then, the three of them actually seem convinced Naruto and I had a romantic relationship at some point?

And, and—one more very crucial issue…

If Hinata doesn’t love Naruto, should I now reconsider investigating her actual gender?

——That’s Hoshino’s side. Now, Sasuke’s side:

What in the world is up with these people!? Why are they all blatantly ‘lying,’ claiming to be Hoshino’s lover?

Although it obviously isn’t true, as the real person Hoshino likes, should I also follow their example and make up some plausible-sounding excuse, claiming that I’m Hoshino’s lover too…?

The more Sasuke thought about it, the more she felt she couldn’t fall behind, so she opened her mouth amid this bizarre atmosphere:

“You’re all fakes—I’m the real lover of Hoshino! At most, you people can be considered mistresses. You've known him for barely a week—but me? I've known him for a very long time! All this time, Hoshino’s been living off the money I brought from my house. I'm not only his lover; I'm basically his owner!”

“AHH!?” ×4

Once again, the people expressing shock had changed slightly.

Ino—who had appeared unnoticed at some point—alongside Hoshino, Sakura-bro, and Hinata, were utterly shocked, while Naruto was silently nodding along.

In fact, Ino had been quietly eavesdropping from just outside the doorway the entire time. But after hearing Sasuke’s jaw-dropping statement, she finally couldn’t hold back a stunned exclamation.

What—what exactly is going on here…!?

Forget the earlier mess—let’s just focus on Sasuke for now.

Didn’t she specifically warn Hoshino in the boys’ bathroom before, telling him not to get too close to her lover, Naruto?

Barely any time has passed since then. How exactly did the situation become “Sasuke’s love interest is now Hoshino?”

Just what kind of relationship do Sasuke, Naruto, and Hoshino actually have…!?

Uwaaahhh—!! This is impossible to make sense of!!

Just as Ino was on the verge of a mental breakdown, Naruto—who’d stayed silent all this time—suddenly spoke up as well:

“You’re all wrong! If we really count things properly, Hoshino should belong to me! Even now, every night he’s still—still—still intimate with me! You people who haven’t even held his hand aren’t qualified to call yourselves his lovers. Without my approval, you’re all fakes!!”

Naruto was someone who sincerely cared about others. Fully understanding just how much of a “pervert” Hoshino was, she’d changed her previous stance supporting Hoshino and Sasuke as a couple.

It's enough that I'm the only one who suffers. I can’t let any of them actually get hold of Hoshino.

…Hoshino is a hopeless scumbag who’ll definitely cheat, but since I can't break free from him anyway, I'll just be his sole outlet for venting those H-desires. You all can go back and live your happy lives!

It was precisely this thought that made Naruto officially announce her entry into the battle, wanting to drive off every rival at once.

But Naruto’s words caused further chaos—

——Ino:

Wha—what the hell is going on here…!?

Just what roles are Hinata and Sakura-bro even playing in this bizarre scenario!?

What exactly are Sasuke, Naruto, and Hoshino’s true relationships!?

First Sasuke and Naruto were a pair, then Sasuke and Hoshino apparently had something going on, and now Naruto and Hoshino have something again!?

What exactly is the chronological order and current status of their tangled romances!? Who exactly cheated on whom? Who got cheated on by whom? Who’s actually dating who right now!? Or perhaps… are these three people simultaneously two-timing each other!?

Is Sasuke getting cheated on, yet standing on two boats named Hoshino and Naruto? Is Hoshino being cheated on, yet standing on two boats named Sasuke and Naruto? Is Naruto being cheated on, yet standing on two boats named Hoshino and Sasuke?

What the hell is all this supposed to mean—!!??

——Sasuke:

What the hell is going on right now!?

Hinata and Sakura-bro were already lying about being Hoshino’s lovers, and just as I also joined in lying, this annoying “bitch” Ino who wants to compete for Hoshino suddenly appeared!

And then there’s my best friend Naruto—why the hell did she suddenly jump into this battle too!?

Wasn’t she supposed to support me!!??

Naruto, you damned traitor—!!

---

T/N: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HEREEEEEEEEEEEE

This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!