Naruto: Freeloading is Great! 2 [31]

Having cooperated amicably with the Uchiha clan to deal with the 'brave' brats of the Hyūga clan, Hoshino immediately escaped from this land of trouble at lightspeed, using the excuse that someone was waiting for him at home.

It was only a curious glance at Hinata's book, yet somehow it had inexplicably earned him favor with the eternally bored Uchiha clan.

In hindsight, was this actually a good thing? From now on, if he got arrested, the Uchiha Police would probably help clear his name. Perhaps even committing intentional murder and walking away scot-free from the station wasn't impossible.

"Hmm… suddenly, it feels like I've become related to the police chief himself. In a way, this feels amazing."

Hoshino, walking homeward, was now inflated with so much pride that he almost wanted to swagger sideways.

"Finally decided to leave the Uchiha compound?"

A slightly familiar voice came from behind Hoshino.

He turned, and sure enough, it was a familiar face—Hyūga Kūsū.

The group most likely to hold a grudge against him had appeared. After all, he'd nearly caused them serious trouble. At the very least, they'd beat him into a permanent mummy.

"The clan head and young miss have been waiting for you."

Having just heard something eerily similar not too long ago, Hoshino didn't even have a chance to react before he felt a blow to the back of his neck. Then, the whole world went dark.

...

A spacious room... Ah, forget it. This was already the second time—he couldn't be bothered commenting on yet another extravagantly furnished room.

Aside from the clearly expensive furniture, the main difference from Sasuke’s room was that there were many dolls here.

Hinata was a girl, so having dolls was normal, but these dolls...

"Hinata, can you explain why all the dolls in your room are male human figures? And they're all completely naked... If I'm not mistaken, these male dolls all have a certain something and a pair of somethings between their legs."

As the saying went, first time strange, second time familiar. Unlike his confused reaction waking up in Sasuke’s room last time, Hoshino casually started chatting with Hinata, who was hugging a doll and staring at him.

"Because the most beautiful things are those closest to nature. So I allowed these dolls to return to the natural state humans had when first born."

"…Really?"

"D-Don't look at me like that! I'm really just pursuing nature! It definitely isn't because I threw away their inconvenient clothes and had no way to dress them or find a place to hide them. It’s all the wardrobe's fault for being too small! Just putting in a few other dolls that absolutely can't be shown in public filled it right up. I-I'm definitely not some perverted woman!"

"…I haven't even asked anything yet, but you've already confessed everything."

Hoshino stared blankly at Hinata’s so-called “small” wardrobe. The wardrobe was nearly as big as his own doghouse.

You call this small? I wonder what the rich consider "large."

No, actually knowing that didn't matter. Compared to whatever "absolutely unshowable dolls" were hidden in there, this was nothing.

He really wanted to see. He desperately wanted to see just how incredibly erotic those dolls must be.

"S-Stop staring at my wardrobe already! There really aren't any 18+ things in there. L-let's just go! Father-sama has already explained everything clearly to the clan, and he's currently calming Hanabi down in the main hall."

"Hanabi?"

"My little sister, she's really cute! …Ah, wait! Don’t misunderstand! I absolutely wasn't talking about my 'little sister' in the reproductive sense! I meant my real, biological sister! Please don't think of something weird! This isn't a perverted hint directed at you. Though, although… Anyway, not right now!"

Expressionless, Hoshino watched as Hinata frantically waved her hands around, digging herself deeper with every word.

It had just been too many years; he'd momentarily forgotten there was a future loli named Hanabi, so he’d shown some surprise. But with Hinata's current reaction…

Pervert. This girl is a pervert whose entire brain is filled with mosaic-covered scenes.

No wonder. With such a perverted personality, she indeed could quietly wait until Naruto married her at the end of the story. But if Naruto didn't marry her, would she just hug a Naruto-shaped doll every night and "create happiness" with her own two hands?

Speaking of Hanabi, Hoshino suddenly thought of someone he didn’t remember ever seeing in the anime.

"Hinata, where's your mother?"

"Mother-sama, a few months ago, she…"

Eh, already passed away? Did I ask something I shouldn't have?

Seeing Hinata’s sad expression, Hoshino wasn't sure what to say, so he immediately apologized.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up something painful."

"N-No, you don't need to apologize so seriously! I've known for a long time that Mother-sama would eventually run away from home. She'd been dissatisfied with Father-sama for ages, so it was inevitable."

Hey, didn’t the story say she died not long after giving birth to Hanabi? What's this about running away?

"This might sound insensitive coming from me, but… it's just running away from home, right? You don't have to cry this hard."

"But… but Mother-sama has been gone for months! It’s fine if she doesn't come back to see Father-sama, but she can't even come back once to visit me and Hanabi…!"

Oh, so that's why she's crying. Indeed, if abandoned by a mother, a child would surely—

You thought I was going to say that!?

What the heck? Seriously, what's up with all this?

It's fine to be a pervert, but how can you casually say something like, "It's fine if she doesn't see Father-sama"?

What? Deep down, you don't want your parents to get back together?

You're a goddess. A perfect goddess shouldn't think like that, okay? You're disqualifying yourself from goddess-hood!

Not wanting to continue discussing this topic, Hoshino stayed silent.

The two awkwardly walked down the hallway—just as long as the one at Sasuke’s house—and arrived at the main hall.

A dignified-looking man sat on the tatami mats, holding a toddler around one year old.

What a relief. Unlike the Uchiha household, there weren’t three insane people arguing here.

Only Hiashi had any real authority now, so at least there shouldn't be that kind of absurd drama.

However…

Hoshino stared, baffled, at the black-and-white portrait hanging on the wall behind Hiashi.

Why was there a photo of a deceased person in the main hall? What the heck?

"Don't mind that picture too much. Sit down. That photo is just Hinata's mother who passed away a few months ago."

So this is the aura of a true boss, huh? His wife died, yet he can calmly say it so coldly.

…W-Wait, didn’t she run away from home?

Had Hinata been deceived by the whole "Your mom went somewhere very far away" lie?

Sensing Hoshino’s pitying gaze, Hinata instantly exploded and shouted at Hiashi:

"Father-sama! Mom only ran away from home—she isn't dead!"

"Silence! Your mother is already dead—to me, in my heart."

Hey! So that's how she "died"? Being dead in your heart counts as death now? Are you kidding me!?

"She is not dead! And Father-sama, stop hanging Mother's photo in places like this! I've told you many times already—it's like you're cursing Mom to die!"

"Tch, so you figured it out. That's right. I'm cursing her to die sooner. What's the point of that kind of runaway woman staying alive? Better for her to drop dead out there."

"Aaaaahhh!! It's precisely because you always say these outrageous things that Mom couldn't stand you anymore and ran away! Why won't you ever listen to me!?"

"This is time for men to speak—women, shut up! Don't forget, I'm still the head of this family. None of you have any right to order me around!"

Watching this inexplicably bickering father and daughter pair, Hoshino silently walked out to the corridor, looking up at the sky in resignation.

Inwardly, he felt calm—even a little amused.

Haha… So that's how Hinata’s mom "died"? This unreasonable world really impresses me.

Can I please, please meet someone normal, just once?

---

T/N: youre perfect for this world!

This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!