Naruto: Freeloading is Great! 2 [29]

A simple room. Yet every piece of furniture—from the small writing desk to the large wardrobe—was clearly a precious work of art.

"Ah, you're awake? You’ve been looking around so long but haven’t said anything. How… How is my room? Is it maybe… a bit too plain? But don't assume my life is as bland as this room, okay? I just haven't dared decorate it because of my brother’s illness. I’m definitely not the kind of dull person whose only interests are books and training."

Hoshino had barely glanced around when Sasuke—who’d been sitting beside the wardrobe reading—immediately began explaining meaningless things.

Sigh. He knew this brat was into him, but who’d have thought Sasuke would react so much like a girl?

He suddenly felt deep pity for the Uchiha clan. In the future, they’d not only be exterminated, but the last remaining heir capable of passing on their kekkei genkai was… gay.

After Sasuke died, the legendary Sharingan—this ultimate cheat code—might end up becoming just a legend confined to the history books.

"Hoshino… what's with that sinister, schadenfreude-filled expression? Are you imagining something weird again?"

"I was just thinking about how your entire clan will soon join my kind, and I felt happy. I can’t help but think this way whenever I see your face."

Indeed, now that death was imminent, whenever Hoshino saw Sasuke’s face, he couldn’t help but imagine how soon the entire Uchiha clan would become ghosts, just like himself—ghosts filled with bitterness as they watched their kekkei genkai lineage abruptly end.

What’s the saying? You reap what you sow? Karma comes around? Ha…

Seeing Hoshino’s odd smile, Sasuke shyly lowered her head.

As always, Hoshino’s boldness left her flustered. It was only a simple visit, yet he was already thinking so far ahead.

Joining her family and becoming one of them…

W-was he really so impatient to marry into the Uchiha clan and live with her?

It was way too early! They weren’t even adults yet, and her brother’s illness was still so severe—it was definitely too soon!

"Hoshino, y-you shouldn’t think about those things too much yet. First, let's go meet Father-sama. He should have finished beating up some clan member who apparently annoyed him. He’s waiting for us in the main hall."

"…Alright. No matter how terrifying, I'll have to face him eventually."

"It won’t be that scary… Actually, compared to Father-sama, Mother-sama might be even more… troublesome."

Following Sasuke down a long corridor, they arrived at the main hall.

Yet the situation was completely different from what he’d imagined. The servants waiting outside showed no hostility, instead behaving extremely friendly—and most importantly, so did Sasuke’s parents.

Only that brother-complex freak Itachi kept glaring at him with murderous eyes.

What the hell is going on? Wasn’t this supposed to be a trap?

After a brief polite bow, Hoshino carried his confusion with him and sat on the guest cushion.

"Brat, Sasuke often talks about you," Fugaku began casually.

"Ah… I’ve often heard stories about you as well."

"Oh?! You’ve heard stories about me? Which ones? Is it perhaps that glorious incident when I beat Hiashi until he cried? Aiyaa~ it’s been so many years, but those people outside just won’t stop spreading honest rumors about me everywhere! Even though I keep telling them to stop it already, hahaha!"

Seeing Fugaku burst into delighted laughter, Hoshino glanced speechlessly at Sasuke, who had already covered her face in embarrassment.

I was clearly just making polite conversation. Why’d this guy take it so seriously?

And judging by how happy he is, that bit about "telling them not to spread it"…

No matter how you look at it, he’s definitely the one intentionally spreading those rumors around himself.

But seeing Fugaku genuinely had no hostility toward him, maybe to save his own life, he should…

"Exactly! That’s the very incident I was talking about! You have no idea, ever since hearing that story, I've become your biggest admirer. Every time I hear people speaking badly of you, I can’t help but pick up stones and viciously throw them at those ignorant fools who don’t appreciate your greatness! They can badmouth anyone else, but never the greatest man in the world—Uchiha Fugaku!"

"What kind of nonsense are you spouting now?!"

Fugaku’s sudden rebuke startled Hoshino badly.

"Eh…?"

"Let me tell you, what I hate most is people like you—those who speak blunt truths so openly! Even if you truly think I’m the greatest man alive, you shouldn’t say it out loud so casually, that’s not good manners! Oh, someone! Bring my guest some tea!"

…Oh. So he’s actually pleased.

Taking advantage of the servants bringing tea, temporarily blocking Fugaku’s view, Hoshino quietly leaned over to whisper into Sasuke’s ear.

"Sasuke, it's not that I'm trying to imply anything, but… is this guy really your dad? You sure he isn't a wild imposter?"

"Um… I know exactly what you mean, but please… please don't say it out loud. Unfortunately, he really is my dad."

Sasuke’s head lowered further until it nearly touched the floor.

At this moment, seeing Sasuke’s embarrassed expression, Mikoto couldn’t resist teasing:

"Aiyaa, look! Because we have a guest, our little Sasuke is so shy she won’t even raise her head."

"Um… Auntie, I don’t think Sasuke is exactly shy…"

"I know, I know~ No need to explain so much. I understand you youngsters very well~ Fufufu~"

Mikoto giggled mischievously, covering her mouth gracefully with the back of her hand.

Bang!

"Mother-sama, please refrain from speaking nonsense!"

"Oh, my Itachi~, are you jealous? How cute~"

"Mother!"

"What’s wrong, Itachi dear? Is there something you wanted to say to me? Please don’t shout in front of guests—it’s rude."

"…I… Tch, I have something else to do. I'm leaving first."

"Oh, is little Itachi going to hold onto Sasuke’s clothes again to calm himself down? Such a pity~ Mommy already washed all Sasuke’s clothes, so his scent is totally gone now."

Although their conversation was incredibly concerning, the real problem here was…

Itachi, who’d already stood up to leave, immediately sat back down upon hearing Mikoto’s words.

"..."

Hey! Itachi, aren’t you even going to deny it!?

Just as Hoshino thought this, the obviously guilty-looking Itachi finally opened his mouth to say something.

"Why do you always wash Sasuke’s clothes so promptly every single time? Are you targeting me specifically?"

"Don’t be so stubborn~ Though Sasuke’s clothes are clean, I haven’t bothered washing your dad’s. If you want to calm down, why don’t you try holding onto those instead?"

"Who the hell wants to hold onto clothes that stink of some middle-aged man! I want Sasuke’s clothes!"

At the exact moment Itachi angrily pointed at Fugaku to protest, Fugaku—the head of the family—furiously slapped the table and sprang to his feet.

Yes, yes, that’s exactly it! You’re the family head, hurry and stop this embarrassing farce!

"Itachi! Didn’t you say I was your favorite person when you were little? What’s wrong with my clothes now? Hurry up and hug your daddy’s clothes! Also… honey, didn’t I say earlier I’m almost out of clean clothes? I’ve been wearing this same set for a whole week! You’ve let the laundry pile up for a month—when are you going to wash them!?"

"Hah… Honey, can your clothes even compare to Sasuke’s? If you really need clean clothes, just rinse them yourself and toss them outside in the sun to dry."

"So that's why my clothes always look dirty even after you wash them—you've just been soaking them briefly in water and throwing them outside to dry on the ground?!"

"Oh dear~ Honey, it took you all these years to figure that out?"

Watching these three adults arguing with each other—and Sasuke desperately trying to mediate—Hoshino silently stood up and walked out of the main hall, gazing mournfully at the sky.

"What the hell?! So, this terrifying family that had me scared half to death… was actually a bunch of hopeless idiots all along—!!"

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T/N: everyone is hopeless in this universe

This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!