Naruto: Freeloading is Great! 2 [28]

Although Hoshino often joked about killing Naruto and unleashing the Nine-Tails to exact revenge on society, at most he’d only ever fantasize about it.

Even setting aside the kid’s tragic life, considering all the years they’d spent together, Hoshino simply couldn’t bring himself to actually hurt Naruto. Besides, the brat’s personality was just too bright and sunny.

If only this sunny disposition could’ve appeared on a girl instead. An energetic, optimistic girl… Hmm, she’d definitely be popular.

But for such a lovely personality to appear on this perverted brat instead… it was truly a waste.

“How long do we have to keep lying here? The sakura blossoms are pretty, sure, but I got bored ages ago. It’s already noon, and I’m starving. When exactly are we gonna go eat ramen?”

“Shut up. All I want right now is to quietly lie here, taking deep breaths of fresh air in another world. Ah~ Clean, unpolluted air is just—Wait, what’s this weird smell all of a sudden?”

As Hoshino puzzled over this, Naruto had already awkwardly turned her head away, stammering nervously:

“I-I don’t know… maybe… maybe you accidentally farted without realizing it. This kind of thing… is pretty normal, theoretically speaking, not impossible.”

“Hey, look into my eyes. You just farted, didn’t you?”

“N-no, I didn’t… Ow!”

Hoshino immediately grabbed Naruto’s face with one hand and squeezed hard.

“I’ll ask again—did you secretly fart just now or not?!”

“Y-yeah, yeah! It just… slipped out because I couldn’t hold it…”

Upon hearing Naruto’s admission, Hoshino released a beast-like roar and violently squeezed her face even harder.

“Ouch—! It hurts! You’re gonna ruin my face! Keep this up and you’ll destroy my beauty forever… W-why’d you squeeze harder after hearing that? Are you jealous of my unparalleled good loo—aaahhh! Stop squeezing harder! I was wrong, wrong, wrong! Please, stop, or I’ll really be scarred forever! Waaaah!”

Naruto’s shouting quickly turned into miserable wailing.

It wasn’t that Hoshino was too petty—it was that Naruto’s behavior truly infuriated him.

Here he was, sentimentally appreciating the final scenery of his life—and what was Naruto doing? Secretly farting right beside him!

Not only that—it was a silent fart! And worst of all, Naruto timed it exactly during Hoshino’s deep breath!

He was already showing mercy by not stabbing her with a kunai on the spot, yet she still dared complain of pain? Shameless!

Although the fart didn’t actually smell as bad as he expected—he couldn’t even be sure if it really smelled bad at all, perhaps due to some special bodily makeup of people from another world—who wouldn’t lose their temper after deeply inhaling someone else’s fart? It was a psychological issue.

Completely failing to consider something as ridiculous as “even beautiful girls from another world have fragrant farts,” Hoshino felt he still hadn’t vented enough of his anger. He kicked Naruto lightly, causing her to fall back onto the ground, then swiftly straddled her, pinning her flailing hands firmly to the grass.

“Stop moving! Move again and I’ll beat you senseless! …Good. Now, interrogation time: tell me, do you know what your real mistake was just now?”

From the moment Hoshino straddled Naruto, her struggles suddenly became frantic, and her face turned oddly red.

Was this brat’s stamina really that terrible? How could her face flush bright red after only a few seconds of struggle?

Though puzzled by Naruto’s bizarrely fluctuating “stamina,” before Hoshino could question it, Naruto timidly answered his interrogation:

“I-I know I was wrong… I shouldn’t have farted… Isn’t that enough? My attitude and answer were both good, right? So, can you please… get off of me now? This p-position makes me really uneasy…”

“You can feel uneasy? Good—feeling uneasy is even better!”

“Hiii—! Hoshino, y-you… you devil! Pervert!”

Even though their current position made it look like a pervert overwhelmed by lust was trying to assault a helpless young boy, the only reason Hoshino was pinning Naruto down like this was to prevent any chance of escape or resistance.

Back to the point—Hoshino could clearly see Naruto was deliberately trying to steer the topic away from the actual issue. But he was a clever guy; there was no way he’d let Naruto lead him off track.

It wasn’t that Naruto couldn’t fart—after all, that was human nature. What Hoshino absolutely wouldn’t tolerate was this brat secretly farting exactly as he took a deep breath, and then shamelessly trying to cover it up afterward!

Therefore…

“Don’t waste my time saying useless crap. Your insults are meaningless to me. I’ll give you one last chance. Your previous answer was wrong—you still haven’t realized your true mistake. Answer again! If you still can’t satisfy me this time, I’ll punch you to death!”

Staring up at Hoshino’s burning eyes—eyes clearly inflamed by uncontrollable “white fluid” rushing to his brain—Naruto despaired, knowing that today she was probably going to lose her first time here. Hoshino’s perversion and obsession had already far exceeded anything she could have imagined.

Naruto couldn’t confidently say Hoshino’s particular fetish was one-of-a-kind, but at the very least it was extremely rare, bordering on extinction-level.

Just how many people in this world could become so consumed by lust after deeply inhaling the fart of the opposite sex? Almost no one, and yet, Hoshino was precisely such a super-pervert!

“I-I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t… shouldn’t…”

Naruto stammered incoherently for ages, yet still couldn’t force herself to speak the “correct” answer.

Because uttering something as gross as “I shouldn’t have farted in such an alluring way, causing your lewd instincts to go wild” was simply too humiliating—too nauseating—to say aloud.

“Hoshino… sniff… sniff… can’t I just not say it? I really can’t bring myself to say such words… Just let me off this once, please… I’ve truly learned my lesson. I’ll never do it again. Just forgive me, please… just this once…”

“So even you realize how disgusting it is! But let me tell you… absolutely not! No matter how much you cry, it won’t work! Hurry and say it, or there’s no way I can extinguish these raging flames inside!”

Hoshino clearly had no intention of letting Naruto off the hook. After all, the burning anger in his heart wasn’t something that could be easily extinguished.

Though Naruto found Hoshino’s ultimate perversion unbearable, her fear of returning to a lonely existence ultimately forced her to surrender. Even though Hoshino had reached this horrifying level of degeneracy, she once again chose to yield.

“I-I… I shouldn’t have… shouldn’t have farted in such an allur—”

But before Naruto could finish, she suddenly saw a black-clad figure standing behind Hoshino, with a pair of red eyes marked by three spinning tomoe. Immediately, everything in her vision distorted.

Thunk.

Knocked out cold by genjutsu, Naruto fell limply to the ground.

“Young Master Sasuke and the Clan Head are waiting for you.”

Hearing the unfamiliar voice behind him, Hoshino reflexively turned to look—and instantly shared Naruto’s fate.

Thunk.

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This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!