Naruto: Freeloading is Great! 2 [23]

Sasuke could bring two people to clear the stage.

Now that Hoshino had already “killed” one teammate and provided a teacher-approved reason, there were still Naruto, Gorilla Sakura, and one more little girl left—three people total. So, one more had to die.

If nothing unexpected happened, it would have played out that way...

Bang—!

The other little girl who’d slapped Hoshino collapsed instantly.

Don't misunderstand—this time it wasn’t Hoshino’s doing.

“You bitch! Always calling me ‘demon fox,’ ‘demon fox’—I have a name, you know! How dare you slap Hoshino! Even I haven’t slapped him yet! You actually dare cut in line?!”

…Did this idiot just say something that really deserves a beating?

In any case, a certain blonde Child of Prophecy, thoroughly corrupted by a certain silver-haired scumbag, knocked out the second little girl from behind, quickly pulled out her kunai to “dismember” her—just like Hoshino had demonstrated—and then smiled sweetly at the teacher.

“Actually, I’m also a ninja from [Tree Country!]. Look—I also ‘dismembered’ this Konoha ninja. And Hoshino can vouch for my spy identity. We're a team, so… Sensei, can you also accept me as an ally?”

“…”

The teacher silently stared at Naruto, who had completely copied Hoshino’s example.

What kind of students were in this year's class? Why was each one more bizarre than the last?

Despite his headache, both their explanations were quite good. He had no choice but to accept them.

Now, of the original six people, two were "dead," and of the four remaining, two were “allies.”

Therefore, Young Master Uchiha could not only take the pink-haired brat and leave but even had one extra slot available.

However, before the teacher could say, "You may leave now"—

Clang!

Sasuke’s kunai clashed against Gorilla Sakura’s kunai.

“What are you doing, muscle gorilla?! Have you lost your mind?!”

“My darling and little Naruto each took out an enemy. As a manly man, I can't fall too far behind them. Therefore, sinful Uchiha Sasuke, you too shall ‘die’ here! Hyaaah—!”

“Why every time, every single time, is it always you getting in my way?! Do you want me to slash you into a mummy again?!”

“For justice, no matter how many times… Wait, what?! Did you say you’d slash me into a mummy again…?”

“Hey, Gorilla, why do you look excited…? Ah! You're even drooling!”

Though Sasuke didn’t understand Gorilla Sakura’s bizarrely hopeful expression, Hoshino quietly walked up next to him.

“Sorry. It's my fault for picking this ultimate pervert as a teammate.”

“Darling, are you here to help me? No need! Let me face sinful Sasuke alone. This is my battle with him! Heh, hehe… and then, fighting alone, I’ll get thoroughly injured, unable to move, humiliated at last by Sasuke… uwaaah!”

Before Gorilla Sakura finished his fantasy, Hoshino kicked him aside.

“Who the fuck wants to help you?! How are you even stupider than Naruto? Even this idiot Naruto realized there's no need to fight anymore. Why the hell are you still attacking? What do you want—to become even more brainless than Naruto?”

“Hey! Hoshino, are you insulting the Gorilla or me?!”

Although Naruto was unfairly caught in the crossfire, at least Gorilla Sakura had snapped out of it.

“I… I'm even more brainless than Naruto? Such… such humiliation is too much! No, I can't accept this! This isn't the joy I seek!”

Naruto, however, was deeply displeased with this peaceful outcome.

“What do you mean you can't accept it?! What are you trying to say—that my intelligence is so low even a masochistic pervert like you can't bear the comparison?!”

“…Um, mm-hmm.”

“Don’t admit it! Hurry up and fight Sasuke, then admit your intelligence is lower than mine!”

“I'm sorry, but even for someone like me, being told I’m dumber than you is an insult so great… that I truly cannot accept it.”

“Stop making me sound like some low-level creature! Hurry up and fight Sasuke—!”

Naruto and Gorilla Sakura instantly began bickering fiercely.

Gorilla Sakura, who previously wanted to fight Sasuke, no longer wanted to.

And Naruto, who didn't want Sasuke and Gorilla to fight, was now desperately urging Gorilla Sakura to hurry up and fight Sasuke.

Then…

“Naruto, what the hell are you doing? I finally don't have to fight this annoying gorilla, so why do you keep pushing him to fight me?! Do you seriously want to end our friendship?!”

Almost driven mad by Naruto, Walking Wallet joined in as well.

“I don't care! Anyway, I can't accept feeling like some bug that’s used as an extreme insult to others. For the sake of my dignity, fight already!”

“Uchiha Sasuke, this is a debate between me and my teammate Naruto-kun. You—a shady, cowardly cheater—don't even qualify as a real man. Stay out of it!”

A two-person argument instantly exploded into a three-way shouting match.

Hoshino shook his head.

These three morons were beyond saving. They were supposed to become the legendary successors of the future Sannin—why couldn’t they get along peacefully?

Forget it, I'm going home alone. This day’s been exhausting enough.

“Hey! Silver-haired brat! Your teammates are fighting amongst themselves—aren’t you going to manage them at all? Do you plan to leave this mess to me alone!?”

“Tch~”

Hearing the teacher call out to Hoshino, who was trying to sneak away alone, the future leader of gambling, drinking, and debauchery immediately turned her gaze toward him.

“Your Highness, the culprit behind this chaos… I think he was planning to abandon us and escape alone.”

“Stop calling me ‘Your Highness’! …Now that I think carefully, the reason we almost started fighting in the first place is entirely because of him. Hey, Gorilla, you won't interfere this time, right?”

“You two want to beat up my darling? That's something I absolutely— Hm? Wait… if I join your rebellion, afterwards my darling will beat me half to death… Ahh, such happiness! I've decided—I'll join as an accomplice… no, I'll become the mastermind!”

…Why did the hate suddenly shift onto me?

Is it wrong? Is it really wrong to just want to stay away temporarily from you three Gaylord perverts?!

Any normal straight man would try to run far away when facing three perverts, right? Right?!

“You three perverts have no value left to exploit right now. So stay away, don't come near me! Get lost!”

“Ex… exploit? Hoshino, you scum!!”

“I demand a reasonable explanation!”

“Exploit? Being used like that is also… so good~! Don't abandon me! Use me more~! Whether you sell me or use me as experimental material—use me even more, darling~!”

Pursued by three emotionally volatile Gaylords, Hoshino sprinted frantically toward the foot of the mountain.

“Why can't there be even one slightly normal person around me?! I've had enough—!!!”

“Don't run away—!!” x3

...

In the end, the final comprehensive test results were as follows:

First place: Team Hinata, who were the earliest to descend the mountain alive.

Second place: The dead-last squad, frantically pursued down the mountain by three homosexuals. According to the “enemy nation’s” clearance rules, the dead-last squad was reduced from three members to two—the authentic dead-last combination of silver-hair and blonde-hair.

Third place: Again, according to the “enemy nation’s” clearance rules, Sasuke and Gorilla Sakura automatically formed a new team. Since Hoshino had barely escaped by half a step due to fleeing for his life, their team could only settle for third place.

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This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!