Naruto: Freeloading is Great! 2 [22]

Before Hoshino could even open his mouth to suggest going together, the blushing Walking Wallet had already offered first.

Although teaming up with Walking Wallet was like getting a convenient vaccination, there was still the matter of…

“What do you mean, ‘don't touch our Prince Sasuke with your filthy hands’? You dare slap me in the face?!”

As he walked behind Walking Wallet down the mountain, Hoshino sported fresh palm prints on each cheek.

If those two little girls who'd simultaneously slapped him hadn't been Walking Wallet’s teammates, Hoshino would have definitely beaten them into two new Pig-Head Sakuras.

These brats, whose looks couldn't even compete with the idiot Naruto, had clearly looked down on him.

Chicken drumstick! If I hug my own gay friend, what the hell does it have to do with them?

They even used a handkerchief to wipe off the spots he’d touched Sasuke.

The more he thought about it, the angrier he got!

Though, speaking of this…

“Walking Wallet, I didn't think you were so shameless, ‘Prince Sasuke’… Pfft!”

“Your Highness, wait for us! Why are you ignoring… pff~ haha… ignoring us, Your Highness~! Hahahaha!”

Hearing Hoshino and Naruto burst into laughter behind her, Sasuke, who’d been walking with her head down this whole time, sped up her steps until she couldn't bear it anymore.

“Prince Sasuke (Your Highness), don't walk so fast~!” x2

“You two bastards are so annoying! Don't copy them and call me that!”

“What did we call you? Prince Sasuke (Your Highness)~!” x2

“Aaaaaaah——! Shut up! Friendship over! I'm breaking off my friendship with you two bastards!!”

Two teams, six people, quickly descended the mountain under extremely delicate circumstances.

Then suddenly, a [Mountain Country!] ninja appeared before them, blocking their path.

“So our school's royal highness wants to go down the mountain, huh? Even though I'll let you pass through via shady backdoor methods, six people is way too much against the rules. Unless you can move my heart, I’ll only let one team through.”

“Why is even a teacher calling me that?!”

Leaving aside the nearly berserk Walking Wallet, Hoshino once again refreshed his worldview thanks to this garbage school.

They really were planning something shady—and blatantly admitting their scheme in front of the students too…

Could you bastards at least pretend for appearance's sake?!

Now Hoshino finally understood why Iruka had looked at them with such pity.

It turns out this test wasn't as simple as climbing up a mountain—even going back down counted as part of the exam.

If the dead-last squad hadn't joined Walking Wallet, there was an 80% chance they'd get ambushed again, wiped out, and sent back down the mountain to restart in those humiliating [Trash] shirts.

This garbage school was really getting on his nerves!

Thanks to Walking Wallet, though, Hoshino now fully understood the keys to clearing the third stage.

Apart from shady methods, if clearing wasn't possible through normal means, this whole thing would be a meaningless, guaranteed-death scenario.

Therefore, the correct way to pass:

First stage: Though grouping up was officially forbidden, squads could secretly cooperate. As long as everyone exploited the rule that the “beasts” only chased the newest team spotted, it was easy to pass by constantly shifting the aggro onto each other.

Second stage: If squads openly shared information, updating trap locations immediately, this stage would also be easy.

Third stage: Looked deadly, but the "enemy ninja" teachers were actually open to negotiation. If you could provide them a decent reason to let you pass, they'd relent. Compared to the previous two stages, this was actually the easiest.

Even though these were the ideal strategies Hoshino had figured out, the problem was…

His own team wasn't just dead-last—it was a team featuring the universally hated demon fox Naruto, someone literally nobody wanted to work with.

Besides…

Hoshino didn't really want to team up with those bastards who treated Naruto badly anyway.

The dark path was much better.

Stage One: Before being “killed,” find another squad to dump the beasts' aggro onto.

Stage Two: Trick a bunch of cannon fodder into scouting traps for you.

Stage Three: Disgust, deceive, bribe… do whatever it took to convince the teacher to let you through.

Though he’d now completely grasped the trick to this stage, with Walking Wallet here, those methods weren't needed anymore… huh?

“Hoshino, Sasuke’s looking at us apologetically.”

“You actually figured that out? Idiot, that's a miracle. I think Walking Wallet believes that since we managed to reach the summit on our own, we can definitely go back down safely too.”

“That might be true, but… Hoshino, actually, I really can't stand those two girls either. So what should we do? How can we convince Sasuke to leave with us instead of taking those annoying two along?”

Although understanding the trick to this stage meant Hoshino didn’t have to use any shady backdoor methods, but…

“Did I just say something unnecessary? …Hoshino, your smile is terrifying!”

“Don’t cower over there. Watch and learn—I’m about to teach you a real man’s way of survival.”

With a 'smile,' Hoshino walked straight toward the two little girls.

“Dead-last, what are you doing? If you're thinking about flattering us, give up. We excellent students are Sasuke’s teammates; you're nowhere near worthy of our royal highness.”

“That's right, dead-last, stop shamelessly coming over here. Just stand quietly with your demon fox and masochist pervert teammates and wait to die. Our highness won't leave with you.”

Crack~ crack-crack~

Hoshino continued smiling, casually cracking his knuckles.

“H-Hey… dead-last, why are you clenching your fists? You wouldn't… wouldn't hit a girl, right?!”

“This dead-last absolutely would! Prince Sasuke, hel—Uwah!”

Bang—!

The fists Hoshino had trained by beating the troublemaker cockroach Naruto year-round instantly KO’d the little girl who had decent grades but pathetic real-combat skills.

“Ah, why doesn't anyone ever remember my life creed? I’ll say it again: I’m a great man pursuing true gender equality. Besides, right now you're enemy ninjas!”

After knocking out the brat who’d dared slap him, Hoshino immediately turned toward the teacher and shouted:

“I'm on your side! I'm a spy ninja from the [Tree Country!] sent to infiltrate Konoha, allied with your [Mountain Country!]. Look, this Konoha ninja is proof—I’ve already ‘killed’ her. If you still don't believe me, I can immediately demonstrate by dismembering her right here.”

As he said this, Hoshino took out a kunai from his pocket, pretending to dismember the unconscious little girl while muttering under his breath, “You dare slap my face, huh? Keep slapping! Come on, slap some more, you shameless brat!”

Watching this, Sasuke—long accustomed to seeing Hoshino beat up Naruto, a literal girl—could only helplessly cover her face.

She knew this bastard would definitely hold a grudge, but she didn't expect revenge to come this quickly.

How could she put it… he was the pettiest guy she’d ever met. No, it was more accurate to say he was the pettiest scumbag.

Naruto and Sasuke, already used to Hoshino’s bastard antics, didn’t even blink, but the "enemy ninja" couldn't handle it.

“Though the ‘allied-nation friend’ story you made up isn’t bad… Beating up a girl and killing a comrade—after the mission ends, you'll definitely be wanted by your village… You won’t survive long.”

“This is just a test. As long as we get off this mountain alive, it’s over. Just acting. Sensei, stop being so serious… Just tell me if you're letting us through or not.”

“To think you'd exploit loopholes like this… Good! Since you're this shameless—truly worthy of our school’s style—I officially recognize your actions as sufficient proof that you’re an allied-nation comrade! Permission granted—you pass!”

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This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!