Naruto: Freeloading is Great! 2 [17]

Things had gotten serious. Hoshino was currently facing an extremely serious problem.

Honestly speaking, Sakura wasn't really Hoshino’s type. He had a bit of a sadistic streak, which clashed terribly with Sakura’s violent gorilla nature. Not to mention this Sakura’s head was filled with nothing but muscle.

But still, Gorilla Sakura was undeniably a little girl!

Do you understand what that means? Little girls are treasures bestowed upon humanity by heaven itself!

Though Hoshino had no idea how Sakura’s affections shifted from Sasuke to Naruto, and then again from Naruto to himself, this was still a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. If he silently accepted, he could finally escape his singlehood.

But did he really want to accept this?

Sakura had just implied that previously she'd been someone who couldn't be trusted. Even though she'd said she would be faithful from now on, her history of switching targets twice in such a short time didn't exactly inspire confidence.

Exactly. Hoshino had "fully grasped" the "true meaning" behind Gorilla Sakura’s earlier words.

N-no… A little girl who switches her affections this easily is too risky after all.

“I'm sorry, but I really think we're not compat— Waaah! W-what are you doing?! Why are you reaching for my pants?!”

“Aren’t we supposed to be mutually supporting each other?”

Some people only become more frightening the better you know them.

Sakura’s words had already fried Hoshino’s brain.

Why is this little girl so open-minded?

—I’d definitely get cheated on someday, wouldn’t I!?

But…

“Alright! Come on!”

Following the principle of never missing a good opportunity, the shameless scumbag Hoshino decided to accept.

Unfortunately…

Just as Gorilla Sakura reached out once more toward Hoshino’s belt, fate intervened. An annoying troublemaker suddenly burst onto the scene.

“Noooo—!”

Naruto rushed toward them, yelling at the top of her lungs, wedging herself directly between Gorilla Sakura and Hoshino.

“No matter what, I absolutely refuse to accept you getting involved in such gaylord activities with Haruno Sakura!”

Naruto had tolerated many of Hoshino’s "perverted" actions, but this was the one thing she absolutely couldn’t stand.

“…The hell does it matter to you what I do!? Get lost!”

Hoshino furiously roared at Naruto.

Seriously, what was her problem? She herself was busy acting all gay with Sasuke, yet now she wouldn’t let him “act gay” with Gorilla Sakura—who was actually a girl! Ridiculous!

Although Hoshino was infuriated by Naruto’s interference, Sakura clearly wasn't angry at all.

After all—

(Naruto is Hoshino’s ex-boyfriend, who was dumped only a moment ago. Since I've replaced him, it's understandable that he’d be upset.)

But understanding aside, some things still needed to be said clearly.

“Naruto-kun, I don’t expect you to have the same backbone as me or Hoshino, but you at least have to face reality. It’s already over for you, so please stop interfering with our gay bonding.”

“Did you hear that? Quit disturbing our gay bonding and scram~!”

Sakura and Hoshino’s consecutive attempts at driving Naruto away pierced deeply into her heart.

It wasn’t just Hoshino who was perverted—this muscle-brained gorilla was also a gaylord?!

No matter what, even if she was beaten to death, Naruto refused to back down a single step.

“You two…you two… I'm not leaving! I refuse to go even if you kill me!”

Seeing Naruto stubbornly refusing to budge, Hoshino immediately rolled up his sleeves and approached menacingly.

“You have a death wish?”

“No! I’m just trying to stop you from walking down the wrong path of becoming a gaylord!”

“You’re the last person who gets to say that!”

“Why don’t I get to say it!? If I don’t say it, who else will!?”

“You’re just deliberately ruining my good thing!”

“This isn't a good thing! It's a bad thing! Gay relationships aren’t blessed—you’ll be looked at strangely by everyone!”

Just as the two were about to start trading blows, they heard an odd sound.

Turning their heads, they saw Sakura standing in front of a tree, facing away from them, doing…

Even though Sakura had his back turned, Naruto let out a startled “Kyaa!” and immediately spun around, covering her eyes.

Hoshino knew that Naruto, the gaylord who was obsessed only with Sasuke, probably didn’t want to see anyone else but Walking Wallet.

—Still, what the hell was wrong with this idiot? Sakura’s back was clearly turned, so she couldn’t see anything anyway. What was there to shriek about!?

“Sorry, I was really desperate, so… But it’s okay, Bro—no, my dear. You still have time. Come here and let's mutually support each other.”

Hoshino stood frozen in place, staring dumbly at Sakura who beckoned him over while still facing the tree.

Wh…what the actual fuck is going on here?! Why is this little girl peeing standing up!?

Was it…because he was a ninja? Because he was a ninja, he could pee standing up?

N-no, that couldn't be right. Even ninjas couldn’t cheat reality like this… Or maybe…it was because of chakra?

Thinking carefully, Sakura’s chakra control in the original Naruto was incredibly precise. Even a genius like Sasuke was outclassed by Sakura, who succeeded on the first try at tree-walking.

Or perhaps, after training extensively under Guy-sensei, Gorilla Sakura’s muscle control had reached horrifying levels—so perfect that he could control every single muscle in his body, achieving feats unimaginable to ordinary people.

Hmm! Very logical.

After all, this was another world. People here could destroy entire planets, so standing to pee wasn’t completely impossible, right?

Having “understood” everything perfectly, Hoshino took advantage of Naruto still being embarrassed, and confidently strode toward Gorilla Sakura.

No helping it—his already active curiosity had been thoroughly piqued. He could no longer resist these bad impulses.

So—

Abandoning Naruto, who was covering her eyes like a shy little girl, Hoshino came to stand beside Gorilla Sakura, ready to pee together with her…her…her???

“Bro—my dear, what are you spacing out for? Come on, let's support each other. This is the perfect chance to show that girlie coward hiding her eyes over there that our love is real!”

“…S-support… You—get the hell away from me! You’re actually a fucking man!?”

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T/N: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO UR SO GAY HOSHINO ITS OKAY ITS 2025

This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!