Naruto: Freeloading is Great! 2 [16]

Although both Naruto and Gorilla Sakura were Children of Destiny, there was still a huge difference between them.

Right now, the biggest difference was that Gorilla Sakura was seeing the flowers on the other shore—while Naruto merely spat out all the food, rinsed her mouth by the creek, and quickly recovered.

Naruto’s survivability, even tougher than a cockroach, was enviable, but precisely because of this, she often ended up as Hoshino’s guinea pig.

…Was this luck or misfortune?

In any case, at least while Gorilla Sakura was still being persuaded back from the underworld by his grandfather, Naruto came before Hoshino, bowed at a perfect ninety-degree angle, and sincerely apologized.

“I’m sorry! Hoshino, from now on, can you please just lie around uselessly like before and wait to be fed after you bring ingredients back? I've misunderstood you all this time—I didn't realize you were just trying to protect me from poisoning myself. I'll diligently practice cooking from now on, so please don’t ever cook poison again. Please!”

Seeing Naruto’s sincere attitude, Hoshino suddenly began doubting his existence and glanced at the grilled fish on the ground.

Impossible… I’m a transmigrator! How can a transmigrator’s grilled fish taste bad!?

Jealousy! Naruto must be jealous of my flawless culinary skills!

While Hoshino was still convincing himself, Gorilla Sakura successfully returned to the human world. Without another word, he immediately began digging a hole.

“Naruto, come help me!”

“Right away!”

Naruto immediately answered Gorilla Sakura’s call and quickly joined in digging.

Under Hoshino’s bewildered gaze, the two quickly dumped the charcoal-black grilled fish into the pit and hastily buried it, sealing it away.

Seeing this, Hoshino instantly understood their intentions.

“I never expected you two to go this crazy for my grilled fish… There's no need to preserve it underground like dogs burying bones. Even if you want to keep it as a treasured family heirloom for generations, this is going too far. Don’t worry—as long as you beg me on your knees, I can grill more for you anytime.”

“Who wants to keep this horrible poison as a family heirloom!? We're disposing of hazardous waste!”

“I’d rather die than taste even the tiniest bite of that thing again!”

Gorilla Sakura’s and Naruto’s consecutive roars successfully shattered Hoshino’s last shred of hope. He let out a muffled groan of despair, clutching his chest and collapsing to his knees.

“This…this can’t be true! It’s completely illogical… If I don’t even have the basic transmigrator skill of grilling meat…doesn't that make me the world’s most useless transmigrator!? NOOOO!!”

Just as Hoshino was thoroughly beginning to hate this unfriendly world, the heavens generously sent him consolation.

“Whew… finally buried it. That stuff was way too dangerous. If those explosive tags Hoshino gave me weren't fake, I'd have seriously considered using them to blast the pit. Just looking at that fish terrified me.”

“Yeah, it scared even a tough man like me. Well, now that the urgent matter has been resolved, I can finally relax and go relieve myself.”

Hmm? Gorilla Sakura is going to relieve himself!?

Imagining a certain delightful scenario, Hoshino’s face lit up as if he'd just taken drugs. He instantly dashed up to Gorilla Sakura’s side and enthusiastically threw an arm around his shoulder.

“Brother, I was just thinking of relieving myself too. Let’s go together~”

Gorilla Sakura suspiciously stared at Hoshino’s overwhelmingly excited expression.

Could your intentions be any more obvious…!?

Although Gorilla Sakura clearly understood that Hoshino was eyeing his biceps, pecs, abs, and even the muscle down there, he'd already made up his mind to pursue Hoshino romantically—and he'd promised to help him with that too. So…

“I knew my perfect muscles would win your heart eventually, but isn’t this development happening a little too fast…? N-no, as a true man, I must have d-dignity… Dignity! Fine, let’s go! Together, we shall create a romantic moment between men!”

“Heheh… Romance between ‘men,’ huh? Can’t wait~ Let’s go!”

Hoshino’s voice was now practically dripping with excitement. Forget Gorilla Sakura—even an idiot like Naruto could clearly see Hoshino’s questionable intentions.

Unlike the others, Naruto had lived with Hoshino for a long time and thus deeply understood that Hoshino’s “inner flame” burned especially strong.

Every night, he’d use the same fake-sounding excuse—“This is for your own good; no arguing, you must accept my massage today as well”—forcing Naruto to strip shirtless and then randomly touching her. After each massage, he'd always disappear into the bathroom for a suspiciously long time…

Seeing Hoshino repeat this routine every single day, Naruto initially doubted that he was merely training his arm muscles.

But once, blushing furiously, she asked him what he was doing in the bathroom after each massage. Hoshino had given various suspiciously clear answers:

“I’m massaging something indescribable.”

“Tsk, why do you even care? Massaging never hurt anyone—are you crazy?”

“Shut up. You’re just on the receiving end anyway—you'll never understand the profound meaning behind my self-massages.”

A person whose inner flame burned this brightly had been relying on his own hands to achieve happiness all this time.

And now, it was springtime—the season when animals loved to reproduce the most.

Thinking this far, Naruto immediately felt as if she'd been struck by lightning and collapsed weakly to the ground.

“He…he’s even planning to target men now? Th-this…this is too much…”

Following closely behind Gorilla Sakura, Hoshino grew slightly puzzled.

Why is Sakura walking so far away just to pee? Couldn’t he just pick a nearby tree?

Could it be…his feminine soul has suddenly awakened?

“Here should be good. Nice scenery, suitable for baring our souls to each other.”

“Uh…huh?”

Hoshino stared blankly at Gorilla Sakura’s strangely hesitant face.

What’s going on? It’s just peeing, right? Why does he look so serious?

Could this little girl actually know she’s female and is just deliberately acting male!?

While Hoshino’s imagination terrified himself, Gorilla Sakura spoke again:

“Brother. No matter how flirtatious or fickle a man was before, a true man must remain loyal till the end!”

“…Loyal till the end?”

“It means that when you have a lover, you must stay completely devoted! If you still flirt around after getting a lover, not only will my biceps refuse to forgive you, even my abs won’t accept it. My muscles have quite the temper, you know!”

“Oh, temper, right, temper… Actually, what I really wanna know is: are we peeing or not? Could we maybe put this weird and totally confusing conversation aside for now?”

“Since you said it like that, it must mean you’ve accepted me as your lover! Very good! Let's start slowly building intimacy, beginning with the ‘brotherly’ bonding of mutually supporting each other while relieving ourselves!”

“Wha—what the hell? Lovers? Mutual… s-s-s-support!?”

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T/N: HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH AGHIAHGIOASIOGHAIOGFH im dying

This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!