Naruto: Freeloading is Great! 2 [14]

This is a ninja world. Tigers, lions, leopards… All ordinary beasts—even when facing a mere genin—end up becoming nothing but lunch.

But now the question arises: What happens when trash-level brats who aren’t even genin yet face off against a chūnin?

—They’re chased down like dogs!

Logically speaking, although the Ino–Shika–Chō team had been ahead of the dead-last squad, those three were already exhausted from running. As a beast… cough, as a "bear" teacher, chasing after Ino–Shika–Chō should’ve been the smarter choice. Yet this pig-shit-flinging bastard teacher still relentlessly pursued Hoshino’s team.

“You two idiots, stop running after me! Split up already—don’t you understand the basics!?”

“No! As brothers, although we weren’t born on the same day, we swear to die on the same day!”

“I don’t want to split up either! Since I’m the slowest and I’ll definitely die first, I have to drag you down with me before I go, Hoshino!”

“Fuck! You two bastard animals are just dragging me down!”

With two teammates so utterly selfish and clueless, if it weren't for the bastard teacher chasing them from behind, Hoshino would’ve personally stabbed these two idiots already.

Having no other choice, and already exhausted from running, Hoshino decisively pulled out his trump card:

“Fuck you, garbage teacher! Courtesy demands reciprocity—here’s a gift of ten explosive tags! Don’t be shy now!”

As he shouted, Hoshino pulled out five kunai wrapped with explosive tags from his pocket, slipping each finger through a kunai’s ring-handle, and threw them at the bear teacher in a perfect fan-shaped spread.

Immediately after, he swiftly reached into his other pocket, pulling out another five kunai with explosive tags attached, scattering them onto the ground further away—essentially turning them into makeshift landmines.

After Hoshino completed this sequence in one breath, Gorilla Sakura and Naruto had already overtaken him and showed no signs of slowing down…

“Hey! Didn't you idiots swear to live and die together with me? Why did you speed up as soon as I attacked?!”

“You actually believed me!? Those are ten explosive tags—we could really die, you know!”

“Hoshino! Let’s call what you did to me in the restroom this morning even! Rest in peace!”

“You bastards—!”

Though cursing them furiously, Hoshino’s feet didn’t slow down one bit, tightly following behind these two traitorous scumbags.

The dead-last team noisily cursed one another, but the bear teacher wasn’t so lively…

He'd never imagined that the silver-haired brat would be so extravagantly wealthy—throwing out ten explosive tags without even blinking!

Even worse, the explosive-tagged kunai were thrown with precision and annoying accuracy, forcing him to retreat instead of catching them.

It wasn’t that the bear teacher couldn’t pass through the gaps between the five kunai, or deflect them with his own weapons—but these were remote-detonation explosive tags! Who'd be stupid enough to willingly approach remotely detonated bombs that explode at the slightest hand seal? He wasn’t a damn idiot!

Thus, the bear teacher was successfully driven back by Hoshino and even gave up pursuit entirely. Since five “remote landmines” surrounded the route ahead, taking detours and carefully searching for their trail wasn’t worth it. Better to go hunt down other brats.

“Anyway, I've almost used up my shit-balls; might as well head back to resupply… Huh? Why do these explosive tags look kind of…off?”

“Brother, I never thought you’d throw out ten explosive tags in one go—rich and decisive! From now on, I won’t treat you as my little brother anymore; you’ll be the big brother!”

“Hoshino, you shameless scumbag, you definitely scammed Walking Wallet out of more money again, didn’t you? Always swindling money from her is wrong! Hurry up and hand over your remaining explosive tags; I’ll help you return them to Sasuke!”

Gorilla Sakura’s comments aside, Naruto, that brat’s expression clearly showed malicious intent no matter how Hoshino looked at it.

“You sure you want those explosive tags from me? You’re not planning to keep them for yourself, are you?”

“…H-how could I? I’m not that kind of—Waaaah! Hoshino, don’t walk away! Fine, fine! I admit I just want a few to play with! Give them to me~ I want explosive tags too! Give me, give me, give me—!”

“So damn annoying!”

Facing a tantrum-throwing Naruto, Hoshino ruthlessly smacked her upside the head without hesitation.

“You want explosive tags, huh? Kneel down and call me ‘honored father,’ and I’ll give you the remaining two.”

“…Honored father!”

“Cough—! Cough, cough…! You—you’ve really got guts!”

Though Naruto didn’t kneel, she called him "father" without hesitation, deeply “moving” Hoshino. Thus, he generously gave Naruto the remaining two explosive tags. And then…

“Hoshino, these two explosive tags feel weird…? I don’t sense any sealed explosive fire chakra inside… Did they get wet or something?”

“Wet my ass. I’m not some jōnin with fire-attribute chakra—how could I possibly make real exploding tags?”

“…Hey! You mean these useless explosive tags were drawn by you!?”

“No shit, Sherlock. If I didn’t draw them, then who—did you?”

“Gah—!” ×2

Gorilla Sakura and Naruto simultaneously fell to the ground, coughing up a mouthful of old blood.

After finishing coughing up blood, Naruto immediately jumped to her feet in protest.

“So earlier, when you looked all heartbroken, you weren't sad about losing explosive tags—you were sad about those ten kunai you threw away! How stingy can you get?! And you even tricked me into calling you ‘father’ for nothing! I don’t care—you owe me now! I want real explosive tags as compensation!”

“You don’t like them? If you hate them so much, give the fake ones back to me. I can still use them to bluff people later.”

“…No way! If I give them back now, wouldn’t I really be an idiot?!”

While Naruto was nearly dying from frustration, Gorilla Sakura—who’d coughed up blood for a bit too long—finally stood back up, somewhat awed.

“Brother, even though your shameless act of faking explosive tags is disgraceful and unmanly, I really admire your kunai throwing technique. Clearly, when throwing shuriken, your skills were so…so aver—average… So why did your kunai skills suddenly become so savage?”

“If you wanna say my shuriken-throwing sucks, just spit it out already. It’s just a small lie—your face looks like you swallowed sticky shit, wanting to spit it out but can’t.”

“Stop describing me in such disgusting ways!”

Experiencing Hoshino’s filthy mouth for the first time, Gorilla Sakura nearly spat blood again.

Although Sakura felt depressed, Hoshino wasn't much better off, since he remembered something unpleasant…

“About my kunai skills, hehe… If you also had an idiot who scurried around aimlessly every day, you’d naturally end up this good too.”

“Hoshino, what’s with that look? I don’t scurry around aimlessly every day! If you didn’t randomly lose your temper all the time, I wouldn’t keep running away. Anyway, no matter how you look at it, you—”

Before Naruto could finish, Hoshino swiftly grabbed a fresh kunai from Gorilla Sakura’s ninja pouch, and with a sharp whistle, the kunai grazed right past Naruto’s calf, embedding itself deeply into the ground until only its ring-handle remained visible.

Seeing Hoshino’s action, Naruto instantly stood at attention and shut up obediently.

“I’m sorry! Lord Hoshino, it was all my fault! You are a god who never makes mistakes!”

“So that's how you trained your skills, Brother Hoshino… I always thought you were the uke (bottom), but turns out you're actually an ultra-sadistic seme (top)…”

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T/N: WOAH HE WAS HIDING HIS SKILLS??? IS HE AN UNRELIABLE NARRATOR TOO WTF I CANT WHATIS REAL

This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!