Naruto: Freeloading is Great! [20]

Might Guy’s eyebrows were thick. Really thick. His hairstyle looked like a watermelon. Beneath his jōnin vest, he always wore that green skintight suit.

His looks weren’t much to speak of, but he was the man who nearly ended the story with one kick. People called him “The GOAT.”

And yeah, if you stuck with this taijutsu powerhouse, your future was guaranteed bright. But—no matter what other isekai protagonists might think—Hoshino had zero desire to get involved with Guy.

If he became this training maniac’s disciple, he’d have no time for anything but practice. And if girls found out he knew such a weirdo… his taste would definitely be questioned! Finding a wife would be even harder!

“Green-spandex watermelon head, if you don’t let go I’ll really start shouting! Still playing deaf? Fine… HELP—!! SOMEONE’S KIDNAPPING A CHILD!! HELP—!!!”

Hoshino’s voice was so loud it hurt his own ears.

Thankfully, the one “kidnapping” him wasn’t from the Hyūga, so a few passersby actually rushed to report it.

Whether they did it out of goodwill or just because they were sick of his shouting was anyone’s guess. Either way, the Uchiha-run Police Force quickly arrived. Then…

“Tch, it’s that damn Blue Beast again. Brothers, retreat—!”

The squad leader took one look at the suspect, realized it was that lunatic Guy, and immediately signaled the others to pull out.

They hadn’t even stepped onstage before they were already gone. Completely unreliable!

As Hoshino silently cursed, May the useless Uchiha clan get wiped out along with Sasuke, Guy gazed after the retreating police, disappointed.

“Sigh… why does no one understand youth anymore? Back when I was on guard duty, I only demonstrated youth to them a few times, and now every time they see me, they run."

"Disciple, when you end up in lockup one day, you must show them the true meaning of youth! Teach them that even if you can’t afford equipment, you can still train! Want to strengthen your arms? Bend the bars! Want wrist strength? Wrestle your shackles! Want fists and kicks? Beat the walls! Sitting around in chairs reading files all day—that’s what’s really unbearable.”

Hoshino tried to imagine the scene Guy was describing—

A man in green spandex, eyebrows like brushes, yelling “YOUTH!” twenty-four hours a day inside a prison, wrecking every piece of public property under the excuse of “working out”… that wasn’t training. That was noise pollution.

“…Hold up. Why are you so sure your disciple will get thrown in jail!? You’re toxic, aren’t you!? Your training methods are the kind that poison people, huh!? Let me make this clear: I only want a laid-back life. I don’t want to learn your damn ‘youth’!”

“Right! Since you’ve become my disciple, I must give you a gift.”

“Hey—! Did you even hear what I said? Don’t change the subject!”

“Your pants just now got dirty because of me… good! Decided. I’ll give you my favorite battle-suit as a gift. Winter-warm, summer-cool, breathable, sweat-absorbing, with the wondrous ability to shape and slim the body. Hahaha… come!”

Guy, selectively deaf, ignored Hoshino’s fury and dragged him back toward his home.

Never mind that children couldn’t physically resist adults—his opponent was Might Guy, a taijutsu monster. Totally hopeless. Once again, Hoshino found himself stripped by another man.

At this rate, it really felt like his flower would fall one day.

But instead of forcing him straight into the green spandex, Guy first massaged him all over with some strange green oil. Having another man knead his body was… disturbing. But he had to admit—the effect was incredible. His exhausted muscles instantly recovered.

Just as Hoshino was about to let slip a moan of comfort, Guy spoke the words that nearly scared him to death.

“My abducted disciple, I never thought you’d have not just good looks, but also such fine assets. Now, turn around. Your master will give special attention to massaging your ‘strength’—to promote its growth…”

Nearly pissing himself, Hoshino tumbled off the table he’d been laid on, scrambling under a chair. Massage my “strength”? Hell no! Why is everyone in this world a PERVERT!?

“If you dare come near me again, I’ll go report you to the Hokage!”

At that, Guy’s eyes lit up like he’d discovered treasure.

“You don’t need my massage? But this is a secret technique I discovered after years of training! Anyone who regularly has their ‘strength’ massaged this way—if their talent is poor, it’ll grow 0.5 times larger than average. If their talent is good, it can grow over twice as big! And you… don’t want it?”

“…”

“Why so silent all of a sudden?”

As Guy looked confused, Hoshino suddenly dashed forward like lightning, clutching his leg and bursting into tears.

“Master! Your disciple never had the slightest disrespectful thought. It was only that letting my master massage me felt too rebellious, so I refused. But to avoid troubling you, I beg you—please, teach me that secret massage technique for ‘strength’! Master—!!”

“M-master? You really agree to be my disciple?”

Guy blinked, stunned. The silver-haired brat’s sudden change baffled him. But assuming it was the power of his youth finally breaking through, he didn’t hesitate. He crouched down and hugged his tearful, “Master! Master!”-shouting disciple. What a promising child!

“Fear not, my diligent disciple! Since you’ve already grasped the essence of youth so quickly, I will spare no effort to train you!”

“Thank you, Master! Even if I die, I’ll never forget this debt of kindness—!”

Something felt off about the boy’s words, but Guy was too overjoyed to care.

“Since you’re so determined—go! Put on the uniform your master prepared for you. Wait for me a moment.”

“Yes, Master!” Hoshino answered sweetly.

The moment Guy turned and entered the bathroom to rummage for something, Hoshino’s face twisted bitterly. He picked up the green battle-suit lying on the stool.

Endure. I have to endure. For that technique that could truly be called divine… so what if I have to be that idiot's disciple? Compared to the growth of my “strength,” this is nothing!

When Guy came back with a basin, scissors, and an oil pen, he found Hoshino standing before the mirror in the uniform—tears streaming down his face.

“My diligent disciple, why are you crying again?”

“Master, it’s only… this uniform is so perfectly fitted and stylish, I was moved by my own handsomeness. These are tears of joy… please don’t worry.”

“I see! Truly worthy of my disciple! Don’t worry, I still have a dozen more suits of the same size. They were all rejected by shortsighted children. Since you love it so much, I’ll give them all to you!”

At that, Hoshino’s “tears of joy” flowed even harder. Choking up, he said to the beaming Guy:

“Th-thank you, Master… thank your ancestors, eight generations back…!”

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T/N: ... i thats crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy HOSHINO MIGHT GUY MEANS YOUR ACTUAL PHYSICAL CAPABILITES!!!!!!!!!!! NOT YOUR PECKER!!! HE HAS A SMALL PECKER REMEMBER!!!!

This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!