Status update.. again :') Going downhill, but trying to improve

Hey everyone. This week was.. hard. Shortly after the last weekly update, where things were seemingly getting better, my insomnia kicked back in and hasn't let go. I'm not as braindead as I was in that first week, but I still slept very little this week, and on top of the exhaustion caused by the new medication, the end result is just.. I feel like shit, man. My depression has kicked back in again too, though it's entirely possible I'm only feeling that way because I'm running on almost 3 weeks of terrible sleep and exhaustion. I'll be perfectly upfront in admitting that I got basically no work done this week; I feel terrible about it, but even basics like feeding myself have been a struggle. I'm really sorry there's another week of no real activity again, but I promise you all that I'm trying my best right now.

So, needless to say, the side effects from this medication are a huge problem, not just for work but for life in general. I managed to get an urgent appointment with my medicine doc to talk about it, and we're going to be trying a few things: first off, since this medication takes 4-8 weeks for the full effects and I'm only in week 3 right now, I still have some hope that this medication could work once the side effects are gone, and since I've already gone through hell with the side effects, I don't want to give up before the medicine even has a chance to get to the beneficial parts, so I'm still going to be taking it for a while longer. That said, my doctor wrote me a prescription for a smaller dosage, so hopefully with that, the side effects won't be as severe and I can build back up to the standard dosage over time. On top of that, while the insomnia I have right now has been HEAVILY exacerbated by the new medication, I've suffered from a multitude of sleep problems since long before this medication, so we're going to start trying some prescription sleeping pills. Between the smaller dosage of the ADHD meds, and the insomnia medication, hopefully I can start functioning a little better even if I still have some side effects. Even though this has been brutal, the antidepressant they put me on kicked my ass with side effects for the first week, but after that it was lifechanging - so I don't want to assume this medication is a bust until I've given it a thorough chance.

With all that said, there's uh.. not much else I can really talk about, I've been staying in bed almost 24/7 this week. My first appointment at the cardiologist will be about a week from now, so that's good; I might not have anything to post about that next week since it's so close to weekly update day, but with any luck I'll be able to figure out my high heart rate sooner rather than later.

I wish there was more for me to update you guys on this week, but I really didn't do much of anything, even outside of work.. the biggest thing that happened this week was getting myself to make some phone calls so I could get that prescription changed. Things are really rough right now, but I'm actively working with my doctors to get everything figured out as soon as I possibly can. The process has been exceedingly difficult, but getting medications right is rarely easy.. anyway, at this point I'm just rambling, so I'm gonna go back to hibernating and praying that the new prescription lets me exist as a functional human being again.  Thanks for reading and for sticking with us, everyone - seriously. You guys deserve all the praise here, I wouldn't even be able to seek medical help without all of you supporting us, so sincerely, thank you. We'll see you again in next week's update.