How to Be the Wrong Jaune in the Right Harem

RWBY: Jaune/Harem- Something was wrong, Jaune knew something was very wrong the second he woke up instead of his cramped Beacon dorm room with its familiar sounds of Nora’s snoring and Ren’s meditation chimes, he finds himself in an opulent master bedroom that would make even the Schnee family envious…. wait.. why is Weiss sleeping naked next to him? No… why are all his friends sleeping on the same bed as him?!

Meanwhile, in the familiar halls of Beacon Academy, another Jaune Arc opens his eyes in what should be his luxurious mansion, only to find himself in a cramped dormitory and none of his girls.

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It had been a long day for Jaune Arc and the rest of team JNPR. Dr. Oobleck had assigned them one of his notorious team investigation papers, which had kept them trapped in the library all evening along with the rest of the class. Having Ren on the team was a blessing - his expertise in research had been essential in finding the right books and references to complete the assignment and get back to their dorm for some much-needed rest.

Jaune emerged from the bathroom with a yawn, the last of his team to finish their nighttime routine. He trudged to his bed and collapsed face-first into his pillow, savoring the softness for a moment before rolling onto his back with another exhausted yawn as fatigue finally caught up with him.

He turned his head slightly, glancing at Pyrrha sleeping peacefully in her bed. Her red hair was spread across her pillow, a rare sight since she usually kept it in a pristine ponytail. Looking to his other side, he was relieved to see Nora also asleep - and for once, not snoring loudly or sleep-talking about tomorrow’s breakfast. Ren was still awake, calmly reading a book by lamplight, seemingly unfazed by their grueling study session.

Though he’d found a particularly comfortable position on top of his covers, Jaune knew he should properly get under them. With minimal effort, he wormed his way beneath the blankets, sighing contentedly at their warmth. His back felt a little sore from hunching over textbooks all day, but at least they’d finished the assignment.

It had been a good day, all things considered, and he was ready to close his eyes and welcome whatever tomorrow might bring at Beacon Academy. Although, it was combat class with the deputy Glynda and it might be a painful session, though those thoughts could wait until morning.

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Jaune slowly and groggily woke up, first opening his eyes before squeezing them shut again with a loud yawn. His hands instinctively moved to rub the drowsiness away, but surprisingly, he felt fully rested - more rested than he’d been in months. Since enrolling at Beacon, between the grueling combat training and endless homework, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept this well.

The morning peace was a welcome change. Pyrrha must not be up yet, since the shower wasn’t running. He could take advantage of this rare opportunity to get first dibs on the hot water and maybe even grab some fresh bread from the cafeteria while it was still warm.

That pleasant thought evaporated the instant he lowered his hands from his eyes. Instead of the familiar white ceiling with its basic light fixtures, an elegant wooden ceiling stretched far above him, adorned with intricate crown molding and centered by an ornate crystal chandelier that caught the morning light. The ceiling height alone must have been at least fifteen feet - a far cry from their cramped dorm room at Beacon.

As his eyes adjusted and darted around, the differences only became more apparent. Gone were the practical desks and shelves of their dorm. Instead, rich burgundy wallpaper with golden patterns covered the walls, complemented by tall windows draped in heavy velvet curtains. The morning sunlight filtered through them, casting the room in a warm, ethereal glow. In place of their cramped storage solutions stood elegant mahogany furniture - a massive armoire, a vanity with a gilded mirror, and what appeared to be a sitting area with plush chairs that wouldn’t look out of place in Atlas’s finest homes.

Pushing himself up, Jaune realized with growing alarm that his usual pajamas were gone, replaced by just a pair of blue pants - not even the same ones he distinctly remembered wearing to bed. But that concern paled in comparison to what he saw next. The standard-issue Beacon single bed had transformed into something massive - easily larger than king-size.

And he wasn’t alone.

His heart nearly stopped when he spotted Weiss sleeping peacefully to his left, completely naked. But that was just the beginning of his mounting horror. The entire team RWBY, was there: Yang and Ruby cuddled together like puppies, while Blake was curled into a ball near his feet. And as if that wasn’t enough to send him into panic mode, his own team JNPR, was present too.

Pyrrha lay to his right, her loose red hair spread across the pillow just like the night before. She looked beautiful- No, focus Jaune, focus! This was not the time to get distracted.

Below them, Nora was spooning Ren, her usually thunderous snoring reduced to gentle puffs. And was it his imagination, or did Ren look more... delicate than usual? Almost prettier? Jaune shook his head violently, banishing that bizarre train of thought. He had far more pressing concerns - like survival.

Yes, survival. Because one thing was crystal clear: when any of these girls woke up to find themselves in this situation, there would be hell to pay. And as the only guy who could possibly be blamed for this inexplicable scenario, Jaune knew it wouldn’t be a pretty sight or for his wellbeing.

Jaune’s mind raced through possible explanations. He hadn’t been drinking - he never did - and he remembered the previous evening perfectly clearly: finishing classes, going to the library, finishing homework, eating a small dinner, taking a shower, going straight to bed. No parties, no weird dust experiments, nothing that could explain... this.

Could it be some elaborate prank? But who would go through this much trouble? Or maybe it was someone’s semblance at work? He’d heard rumors of Huntsmen with illusion abilities, though nothing that could create something this extensive and realistic. That wasn’t counting that he didn’t even know somebody who could make illusions or bend reality.

He swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry. Whatever was happening, he needed to get out of there before anyone woke up. Yang would absolutely murder him if she found him in bed with Ruby present - her protective big sister mode would activate faster than her semblance. And Weiss... he didn’t even want to think about what she’d do.

The situation somehow managed to get even worse when he realized everyone appeared to be... naked. Because of course they were. Because this nightmare apparently needed to be as mortifying as possible and throw him even deeper into despair.

Although they looked slightly older for some reason.

Moving with more care than he’d ever shown in combat training, Jaune began the precarious process of extracting himself from the bed. Each shift of his weight felt like disarming a ticking bomb, and every small movement and sound of the others sent his heart racing against his throat, feeling it pounding so hard that it hurt.

However, with so much effort and what it felt like an eternity, he’d almost made it to freedom when guilt stopped him cold and looked over his shoulder to see Ren still asleep.

He couldn’t just leave Ren behind - what kind of team leader would he be? Taking a deep breath, he carefully picked his way back across the massive bed to where his friend lay entangled with Nora.

Ren seemed unusually slight as Jaune attempted to carefully lift him but failed, so then proceeded to carefully remove Nora’s hand for easier access. Deciding a better grip was needed, he reached for what should have been Ren’s chest - only for his hands to meet something soft, distinctly feminine and quite squishy. A quiet groan escaped Ren’s lips - a decidedly female sound that made Jaune’s blood run cold.

“What? What? WHAT?!” Jaune yanked his hands back as if they were burning, his voice rising to a pitch he didn’t even know he could reach. In his panic, he lost his balance, tumbling backward and somehow dragging Ren with him. They crashed to the floor with a resounding thud, Jaune landing hard on his ass with Ren sprawled across his lap.

But the fall had done it, if it wasn’t by his scream already. All around the massive bed, heads began to rise, accompanied by various sounds of drowsy awareness, causing Jaune to freeze like a cat.

Blake’s ears twitched in annoyance as she stretched her arms. “Some of us were trying to sleep,” she grumbled, amber eyes narrowing at the commotion.

“Aww, starting the morning fun without us?” Yang propped herself up on one elbow, her lilac eyes sparkling with mischief. “Pretty sure I called first dibs today, lover boy.”

“Everyone, please,” Pyrrha’s voice carried its usual patient tone, though tinged with amusement. “We agreed on a schedule with Jaune, remember?”

“Must you always be so clumsy in the morning?” Weiss sat up with perfect posture despite having just woken, brushing her disheveled white hair back with practiced grace. “Some of us appreciate a… more refined start.”

All eyes turned to where Jaune sat on the floor, still holding a very feminine Ren, who was regarding him with a mixture of confusion and drowsy affection.

“Ooooh, Renny!” Nora bounced up, seemingly unbothered by everyone’s state of undress. “You know tomorrow’s our special day, silly! But I guess I wouldn’t mind if Jauney wants to do it today!” She winked, causing Jaune’s brain to short-circuit even further.

“No fair!” Ruby pouted, sitting up and pointing accusingly. “That’s not how the rotation works!”

Jaune’s mouth opened and closed several times, but no sound came out. Why were they discussing... schedules and rotations instead of trying to murder him? Why was everyone acting like this was normal? And most importantly… WHY WAS REN A WOMAN?!

He looked desperately around the room, seeking any sign that someone else found this situation as insane as he did, but was met only with fond, expectant smiles from his friends.

Before Jaune’s overwhelmed brain could form a coherent thought, Ren - this impossibly beautiful version of his teammate - gazed up at him with soft pink eyes. A gentle smile graced features that were somehow both familiar and completely foreign.

“You’re always so dramatic in the mornings, Jaune,” Ren murmured in a silky voice that definitely wasn’t his usual tone, reaching up to cup Jaune’s face with delicate fingers.

“W-wait, Ren, I-“ Jaune’s stammering was cut short as Ren pulled him down into a tender and affectionate kiss.

“Aww, look at our fearless leader being shy!” Nora’s gleeful voice echoed somewhere in the background.

“I think you broke him, Ren,” Yang snickered.

Jaune’s mind finally gave up trying to process reality. The last thing he registered was Weiss’s exasperated sigh and Pyrrha’s concerned “Oh dear” before everything went black.

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Meanwhile, in the bathroom of team JNPR, Jaune Arc was having his own crisis. He stared at his reflection in the simple mirror, taking in the familiar yet somehow younger face looking back at him. Gone were the subtle signs of maturity he’d grown accustomed to, along with the distinctive scar that usually marked his left cheek after a fight with a Goliath.

“This has to be some sort of mistake…” he muttered, running a hand through his messier, shorter hair. The bathroom itself was jarringly basic compared to the marble luxury he’d grown used to. The entire space was barely larger than his personal shower back home.

Home. His manor. His girlfriends...

He’d gone to sleep in their massive bed after another successful mission in the Grimm lands, surrounded by the warmth of his girls. Now he was standing in what was unmistakably a standard Beacon Academy bathroom, wearing that ridiculous onesie he’d made sure to ceremonially burn years ago.

“Jaune? Are you alright in there? We need to get ready for class!” Pyrrha’s voice called through the door - a different tone, one that lacked the determination and confidence that he remembered and loved.

“I’ll be out in a minute!” he called back automatically, the words feeling strange on his tongue.

He scratched his head, trying to process the situation. Maybe he shouldn’t have finished that bottle of Mistralian wine before bed. But everything felt too vivid, too real to be just a hangover. This was unmistakably Beacon Academy, and he was unmistakably his younger, more awkward and dumbass self.

And strangest of all, Ren was... well, male instead of the beautiful girlfriend he knew.

A dream.

Yep, a strange lucid dream. Dreaming of his past, that was the only explanation for this whole situation.

A mischievous grin slowly spread across his face as he studied his reflection. Since this was some sort of lucid dream, he might as well have some fun with it. Starting with Weiss, who was no doubt still in her full Ice Queen mode at this point in time.

His younger self had been too nervous to even properly talk to her back then, stumbling over words and making a fool of himself, like why did he even think giving her a serenade was even a good idea? Now, though... Now he knew exactly which buttons to push that made her tick. It would be hilarious to see her reactions.

No, forget Weiss. He was going to mess with Glynda Goodwitch. That woman was always so stuck up on rules and norms and everything. She was the perfect target.

This was going to be interesting, and his grin only widened as a couple of plans already formed in his head. 

But first…

“Coming out!” Jaune called cheerfully, finally opening the bathroom door with far more confidence than his younger self would have shown. There stood Pyrrha, already in her uniform, her red hair perfectly tied in its usual ponytail. She looked so... adorably unsure of herself.

“Took you long enough,” she said with that patient smile he knew so well. “We’ll be late for breakfast if we don’t hurry.”

Instead of rushing to get dressed, Jaune leaned casually against the doorframe, letting a playful smirk cross his face. “You know, Pyr, your hair looks gorgeous when you put it up like that, but I bet it would look even better down.”

Pyrrha’s cheeks instantly matched her hair color. “I- what?”

“Just saying,” he shrugged, enjoying how flustered she became. “Though the way you’re blushing right now is pretty cute, too.”

“Jaune!” she squeaked, taking a step back.

Without warning, he stepped closer and reached for her slightly crooked tie. “Here, let me fix this for you,” he murmured, his fingers deftly adjusting the red fabric. Then, with a gentle touch, he brushed aside a stray strand of her hair, tucking it behind her ear. “Perfect. Just. Like. You.“

“FEARLESS LEADER!” Nora’s voice boomed from across the room. “Stop flirting and get dressed! I need pancakes!”

“Your wish is my command,” Jaune laughed, stepping past a still-blushing Pyrrha. He grabbed his uniform, noting with amusement how stuffy and plain it was.

He could practically feel the steam coming off her now. This dream was turning out to be quite entertaining. The old Jaune would have been oblivious to Pyrrha’s feelings, but he knew better now. Much better.

Pyrrha stood frozen for a moment before suddenly remembering how to move. “I’ll... I’ll wait outside!” she practically fled the room, nearly bumping into the doorframe in her haste.

“Smooth, very smooth,” Ren commented dryly from his bed, not even looking up from his book.

Jaune shook his head in amusement. He had a whole day to cause some chaos…

Oh right, he should have some fun with Ozma and Ironwood too!