Because the original was lost...

This is still a decompression stop, a place to try healing from the recent ordeal I caused.

Long story short, I very, inappropriately, was not crediting artists in fan art. I thought leaving signatures and not removing water marks was sufficient, but I was mistaken. Lo and behold, my error came back to bite me in the form of a twitter tweet. This tweet was brought to my attention by someone in the community.

In the blink of an eye, I saw my mistake, and backed against a wall. I asked the community for help, and many of you offered to assist me in a hunt for artists' names. During this long process, we aligned names and art, our teamwork shining like a gleaming star. I ended up altering a poster because there was a prohibited piece on it.

And yet, the tweets kept happening. Somehow, this person was seeing my patreon posts. Someone on patreon, even with good intentions, told the twitter author my actions. I saw names on the tweets I recognized from other sites, and, by circumstantial evidence and sheer lack of wits, came to a baseless conclusion as to who provided the information.

In the meantime, word leaked about this, and a mob mentality emerged. There were tears, anger, and confusion. It was a whirlwind of chaos, and people wanted answers and accountability. I did not see all of the discord posts, and from what I was told, I'm glad I didn't.

As the days passed, while wounds were still fresh and the community cried, I had a change of heart, based on new evidence acquired from numerous sites. I immediately reached out to the accused, unblocked them, and took full responsibility for my actions. I apologized, knowing full well what was broken could never fully be fixed. I encouraged others to heal. Frustrations were high, and people, still wanting answers, asked questions; some were whispered, some were shouted. Harsh words were expressed and hasty, unalterable actions were made.

I realized what I had done:

I had hurt what I loved, all of you, my friends, who have been here for nearly a year. Who have stuck near me through this journey, stood by while I was sick, shared stories and laughter that has created one of the most tight-knit communities out on the internet. Not just limited to Hazbin communities, either, but of any fandom.

I was embarrassed, ashamed, and I wanted to hide away. Do be aware, after stressful times, I do disappear - I always have. I needed to look into myself, because what I had done was unforgivable. i needed to search my soul to see what has caused such atrocities to arise in me.

During that time, I forced myself to stay busy because otherwise I would remember the poison I had spewed to those who trusted me and my allegedly safe community.

Alas, I did not realize the extent of damage I had caused.

I came back, trying to create a sense of normalcy in the group. I uploaded the drawing, I chatted with those I hurt, and I joked with others, acting as the jester to brighten the moods of others while I moved about like a living husk of my former self. My actions were not a selfish attempt to ignore the past few days, but rather, to bring solace to any who sought it.

 I thought perhaps the original threads were a sullen reminder of those horrible days, so I erased them to try moving forward. But I did not know, there was still pain, tears yet to be spilled.

And so I have created this post, touching on parts that were included in the originals.

I take full responsibility for my actions, and I offer my sincerest apologies. I will never allow something like this to transpire again. I owe it to you all to give you a safe place where we can connect with each other, where we can be silly, and cause shenanigans. I realize I cannot go back in time, but I want to atone for what I put you all thorough.

We are a strong family, and even if we feel betrayal and resentment now, I know we can learn and grow from this.

You're all amazing; no matter what you do, whether you stay or go in this group, remember this: I consider you all family. We are resilient, and we will get through this, no matter how bleak it seems now. I will remember you all long after the last audio is uploaded. I will not allow a few bad days to destroy what we have developed for months.

You're all amazing people, and I admire you all.

1/23/25
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