Give me a couple more days!
Added 2024-11-21 20:16:39 +0000 UTCBusy times aplenty for me, darlings! There may be a chat tomorrow, but I will have to see how everything goes here.
Hopefully things will be back to normal in a couple of days, and I can resume the teasing and shenanigans!
YES! Everything is fine! I just haven't had much time to myself.
Comments
https://youtu.be/7N6HbSA65vc?si=MR71j82qC4khXmIY I don't know if this will help, but... I found this on YouTube and just had to share this piece of musical art! Maybe I'm the only one who thinks so, but... I feel comfortable enough to show you all a glimpse of my soul right now in musical form.... It's the best way to express what myself and I feel like some of you are feeling too without saying a single word...
Kitty Belle🐾🌸💜
2024-11-22 20:08:54 +0000 UTCHi Itsuka Glad to see you are doing a little better, but I hope you are still working on the things you talked about before. It is indeed rather quaint how some things you expect to be easy or have always been can become hard and how on the other hand you can find strength in the strangest of places. I won’t burden you with a whole rant here, just know that you can ask for help when you need it. You know where to find me. Wishing you all the strength!
Narator
2024-11-22 14:26:00 +0000 UTCYou more than deserve some time to yourself, dear! I too ended up taking a few days off from online stuff. Might still take some more, or be a little quiet the next few days. Or I might wake up tomorrow morning completely refreshed and ready to cause chaos! I never know lol 😂 —— (For those who know how my last 1.5 months have been, or were just a bit concerned; I think I am actually doing better in general ^^ I’ve been a complete mess for those last 1.5 months, with some very, very low points at times. All I needed was some mental rest but I never got enough of it, something always happened that reset my number of ‘rest days’ before I could fully recover, and every time I needed more and more of them. But now, it has been a while since that number of my ‘rest days’ got reset, and I feel like I’m finally getting better. ^^ Then why was I absent these past few days? Well, I decided not to cancel an appointment I had with someone that was already scheduled months ago. That was my first irl interaction in those 1.5 months by my own choice (except for the convention, but tbh, I went a little insane around that time 😅). Apparently I was stressing a lot more about it than I realised. That someone is a really kind and caring guy, plus I’ve known him for 10 years already, so I always feel very comfortable with him. I warned him beforehand that I was not doing well mentally, and would probably be rather quiet. He was nothing but considerate and respectful. And I ended up talking with him way more than I had expected. It felt really nice ^^ (Oh and I got some blackmail for Bambi I will gladly share in chat 😏 I swear it’s for his own well-being! 😇 Plus I still owe someone a certain something…) But that was still exhausting af, so I kinda crashed afterwards. I felt like I needed some time of minimal social interaction, irl ànd online. Baby steps. Small victories. And I’m freakin happy and proud of myself for talking with that guy for over an hour, and enjoying it! 💪🏻 It might sound ridiculous to ‘normal’ people. But as many of you know, mental illnesses, disorders, struggles, etc.. are not to be taken lightly. During the end of October and the beginning of November I’ve been at several of the lowest points in my entire life. To those who can function rather well, feel like they are happy, don’t have much to worry about, etc,.. Don’t take these things for granted. And please, definitely don’t assume everyone can do simple things just as easily as you can. They are not simple for everyone. 💛 To those who are struggling (mentally) with something, or several things, anything really; Also, don’t take things for granted. If you’re, for example, struggling to get out of bed, don’t think that you should be able to just because ‘it’s easy for other people’. Many more of those other people than you would think, struggle with similar stuff, or even the exact same thing. If you manage to do something you struggle with, however small it may seem, you did it even though it was difficult! You basically fought a mental battle and won! (It’s true, isn’t it?) That’s worth something! Hell, even every day you live is a win / victory. You’re still here, you’re holding on, you’re a survivor. And that is freakin amazing! ❤️ (Yes, I took some inspiration from Waves’ video ‘Trauma’ here. It has helped me a lot several times already ^^ ) Until recently I thought; “it’s not like I have much choice but to survive, life goes on and you just get dragged along with it”. If you’re thinking that too, well, it’s not true. You do have a choice; you could choose to end it all. But you didn’t even consider that as an option, did you? Consciously or unconsciously, doesn’t matter. What does that say about you? I think it says that you are way stronger than you realise you are. 💪🏻 And if you have considered and/or are considering it as an option, remember that life is an endless circle of ups and downs. Of rain and sunshine. It might rain so freakin hard for you right now, that everything gets flooded, damaged by the storm, etc.. but that will pass. The sun will shine again someday. Sure, it might not shine as bright as you had hoped every time, but it will shine, again and again. Just like it will rain, again and again. But you need to allow that process time. That’s all it needs. 🫂 When it rains for you, remember that it will stop, and the sun will shine again someday. That is a fact. When the sun is shining for you, take a moment to really notice it. Be grateful for it, even for the tiniest ray of sunshine. Enjoy every single second of it, don’t take it for granted. Because it will rain again, that is also a fact. Maybe you didn’t even notice some tiny rays of sunshine. Try to remember to look for them, because they are there more often than most of us realise. And they can still appear, even when it’s raining. You can prepare yourself somewhat for when it will inevitably rain again. For example; take note of why it is shining, what makes/made you happy, write all of it down somewhere. This will be your raincoat, to protect you from the worst. And your rainbow, to guide you towards the sunlight again. But even without that preparation, without doing anything, know that the cycle of rain and sunshine will continue over and over again. ❤️🫂 Wow. That became very philosophical at the end. I didn’t exactly plan to go there. But I do tend to write entire letters lately. 😂 Oh, well. If my rambling can help at least one person, even only for a little bit, I’m happy I wrote it! Take care, everyone 💛🫂
Itsuka 🐾
2024-11-22 13:53:52 +0000 UTC
