I know how many of you have gone through so much, you've shared with me so many of your stories through the many tiny interactions we've hand and the myriad of comments over the years, I love you all and know how tough it can be to accept your own feelings about things, and sometimes we force a tough face and try and be stronger than we realistically can be. The big and strong sometimes cracks at the seams and its ok to break down, sometimes its exactly what you need to heal. To face the trauma and sadness by admitting you're not weak, you're human.
It's ok to cry, there is no shame in it, no wrong in it when its true tears from the heart. I can't tell you how much I've cried over the past few years, its been some of the highest and lowest times of my entire life, but I can tell you it took facing that I'm not as strong as I wished to be yet to realize I was forcing myself to go way too far. It took so much to realize the trauma and pain had a grip on me even long after the traumatic and heart breaking events.
I honestly have felt so much happier since realizing and admitting to myself I was putting on a brave face and slowly getting past said brave face. I know its not easy and there is so many times when its easy and feels more normal to put on said brave face. BUT I think that in order to heal you have to face things when you're ready and stable enough to. I was a mess, I am still a mess to a certain extent but I'm slowly healing and this month has been a lot more positives than negatives for me :3 I hope that it can be that for you and I hope this audio finds you well, but just in case it doesn't please don't give up and give yourself time to face the struggles! You are more than your trauma and pain. You are beautiful and wonderful and deserve the absolute best. And I know someday, someway, you'll find that hope and love and good things that you deserve even if it seems hopeless sometimes.
Caek
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