Artist's Reflections

Hey friends!

I spent a lot of time thinking about me and my journey lately. I realized that the joy of making all these illustrations were decreasing and that I always find myself in a state where I can't move a finger, kinda frozen, trapped in thoughts, rethinking my whole life as an artist. I experienced burnouts, first just once in a while but became more and more and now it seems like I'm stuck in there. It isn't fun anymore and I was asking myself why it is like that all the time. I think I've found my answer.

I realized that all I'm doing is running.. "mentally". I run for perfect results, for perfect scenes, perfect ideas, having enough posts for patreon so I can justify the fact that you're here, paying for exclusive art. I find myself in a position where I try to finish so much art in a month that it began to hurt my creative process. And in the same time I'm fighting against the social media algorhythms.. People don't see my work anymore. I have some posts working and then I get invisible again. This leads to no commissions, decreasing patreon supporters and all that while I'm working on full speed. You see where I'm going? Working really hard and getting less and less out of it is also very depressing so I had to come to a conclusion.

It's okay to wait till art is made. I don't have to post daily. I have over 900 posts on patreon (in 1 1/2 years) that is definitely crazy. I can't keep this up so I have to slow down in order to keep my sanity plus when you consider that it doesn't even matter cause I keep losing money, so, why stressing even more? I have to find my joy for art again. meaning I will paint what I love and will take my time to make it good.

I don't know how long I will keep doing this, maybe I go back to sfw art, doing concept art, tattoos whatever brings money to live like a normal person.  But for now I don't wanna give up yet. I will continue. Just a little slower, more personal maybe, more like back to the roots to why I love painting in the first place. And you can either support me in my journey or move on which is completely fine. I'm just tired to run in this kinda rat race. That's not what I thought it would be and I refuse to fu*k myself up in order to get a few bucks. I really hope you can understand. I'm so glad you're here with me and I appreciate every support with all my heart. You guys don't know how much it means to me. So yea, 

I will definitely continue my comic and accept commissions but the rest needs to slow down. Other artists post like 4 times a month on patreon which is definitely no hate!! or meant in any kind of negative way. It's just a good reminder for me that I'm doing too much in too little time. And now I'm here stuck in a burnout doing less and less till I completely freeze. So let's avoid that, should we? :)

Thank you for your attention. Love you,

DORN ❤