Crissie in Diaperland: Chapter 17

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Crawling onto the shore of the sandbar with her sopping diaper drooping heavily behind her, Crissie rolled over onto her back as the soft tide parted around her body. Initially, she’d wanted to skip the extra stop and go straight to the mainland. However, it only took a few minutes of swimming for her to change her mind and choose the closest option.

“Hey there, poppet! Are you here to join the caucus race?!”

Arching her neck back, Crissie’s eyes searched for a source for the rather silly-sounding voice, spotting a dodo bird wearing a bright purple coat with a blue vest and, of course, a massive, fluffy diaper underneath. An hour ago, she would’ve sworn this dapper dodo couldn’t be the one who’d spoken to her. But between smoking with a caterpillar and watching a mystical cat float around her head, it was safer to assume every animal had the power of speech in this world. “A…caucus race?” she said, stretching out her aching limbs as she rotated to face the talking bird, discovering that he had to be about twice her size

“That’s right! The caucus race!” said the Dodo excitedly, his little legs jumping up and down in jubilation, “it’s the most fantastical and marvelous race ever hosted under the seven skies of Diaperland! And you couldn’t have arrived at a more perfect time! Ladies and gentlebabies! Are you ready for our next race?” A chorus of cheers broke out among the other participants, of which there were many of varying sizes and species. The lead dodo reached down and grabbed Crissie by the hand, pulling her to her feet.

After the morning she’d had involving run-ins with the numerous Diaperlandian creatures, Crissie wasn’t exactly jazzed to be thrust into another nonsensical scheme. “Hang on. I don’t even know what a caucus race is?!” she shouted, twisting her arm to break free from the Dodo’s grasp.

Crissie’s statement prompted laughter to break out all around her. “Why, poppet, you’ve never been in a caucus race?” asked the Dodo, spinning around in a big circle before stopping on a dime to look Crissie directly in the eyes, “How splendiferous! Let’s hurry you to the starting line! The best way to explain it is to do it, after all!”

Rushed over to a long line in the sand, Crissie was dropped off front and center between a bipedal tortoise and a slack-jawed pelican, both of whom were also padded. In fact, it appeared as though all the animals around her were sporting the same poofy, white diaper. Perhaps, they might be able to change her out of her over-used diaper. “C-Can I get a change before we start…since you all wear diapers as well?” she asked, catching the Dodo’s attention as he stepped up onto an overturned bucket to oversee the race.

“No can do, poppet! Changes are for winners, there can be no doubt,” said the Dodo, dancing atop the small platform the bucket created in ways that defied both gravity and logic. He pulled a starting pistol from his pocket and held it high for all to see, “Now, let’s kick off this race with a shout! On your marks!”

As soon as the Dodo said, “on your marks,” he pulled the trigger and fired off a loud blank, prompting the racers to sprint off in a myriad of different directions. “Wait, which way are we supposed to go?” said Crissie, still standing at the starting line with a look of confusion.

“It’s a caucus race! Run any which way you like!” yelled the Dodo firing his starting pistol two more times for good measure, “Once you’ve run an appropriate length, come see me and if you win, we’ll sort out your prize!”

Scratching her head, Crissie asked, “But…what is ‘an appropriate length?’”

“Hmmm…no one’s ever asked me such an odd question,” said the Dodo, halting his hopping as he pondered Crissie’s conundrum, “I suppose it’s whatever length you deem appropriate! Now, stop asking so many useless questions and get going.” The Dodo placed a wing on Crissie’s back and pushed her forward, sending her running across the sandbar as fast as she could waddle.

TO BE CONTINUED…

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