Content changes
Added 2023-05-15 21:32:56 +0000 UTCI made 2 minor alterations to the story starting at Chapter 30 when Jiran first absorbed the challenger density.
First change
There is now a timer in Jiran's status that is counting down. He's not 100% sure what happens when it hits zero but he's pretty sure it means game over.
The timer started at 48 hours and refreshes back up to its maximum every time he absorbs more challenger density. Each kill also increases the maximum cap of the timer by 2 hours. After his escapades in the plains, his total timer is around 4 days which he used two of in the last couple chapters.
Second change
The first rule of Challenger Club is that nobody talks about Challenger Club.
The "system" now prevents him from talking/writing about the red density or anything in relation to it.
A few of the conversations changed accordingly to account for these two additions and several of his internal monologues but there were no major deviations from the plot.
Please let me know what you think about the changes or any other aspects of the story. Feedback is always welcome.
Don't be shy, I love criticism as it can only help the story grow stronger!
Comments
Understandable perspective for sure! I wouldn't want to write a story that is pulled along in such a forefull way. There are additional rules for the new mechanic that put a super fun (at least from my perspective) spin on things that I hope hope will alleviate your concern. They will be revealed soon. As for the system with a Jiran... its just one more inevitable challenge on the path to godhood. 😎
JTP
2023-05-16 02:47:05 +0000 UTCNot a fan of forced tension by an arbitrary countdown in a system…the later we are into the story the more the countdown will be tension/story driver instead of Jiran….like it turns „Jiran with a system“ to „system with Jiran“
Aleyte
2023-05-16 02:27:03 +0000 UTCThe system is all about control. Normally people let it take control of their bodies to activate their skills and techniques. Def not going to wave it out, its honestly a perfect fit that I'm kicking myself for not thinking of a long time ago. Adds a lot more than tension, also gives the system a bit of a sinister vibe which it really should have and opens the door to entertaining and frustrating interactions later. Antagonist is a good idea, I had one in the works in the original but didn't make it far enough to flesh them out. They are going to play a bigger part earlier on in Rise. Thank you for the feedback!
JTP
2023-05-15 23:45:28 +0000 UTCFor every citizen of Madra they are used to the system taking control of their bodies to activate their techniques and skills as that's the normal way to do things. Even Jiran has had some experience with this method as it's a requirement of leveling T/S's. If you thought about it statistically then 99.99% of all interactions with the system are it taking control of a person. There are a couple other rules to the new mechanic that I haven't spilled the beans on just yet that cover your potential loophole of the stronger enemies bit. Thank you for the feedback!
JTP
2023-05-15 23:40:41 +0000 UTCBig change, but I would say that the controlling what he can talk about would indeed change how the system seems to work so far from what we've seen. As for the timer itself not sure what that seems to be indicating as we've yet to really see any cause for that. I assumed up till now that the red shtuff was like a battle of wills with 'flavored' density. It's really just a matter of preference up to you if you want to add tension in such a manner, could bar yourself off of story decisions later on and will feel unfulfilling if you get tired of it and handwave it out later. Whereas you could always throw in an antagonist or somesuch. Frankly I've felt as if we're still in the prologue, with the army arc on the horizon.
BubblyGhost
2023-05-15 22:28:47 +0000 UTCThat is a major change. I can see two potential issues. Eventually he will reach a tier where he won’t be able to find opponents of appropriate higher tier and what then? Second issue I see is how we perceived the system so far - training wheels, tool which helps its user, something that merely describes reality will now turn into something that can control you.
Petr Pavelka
2023-05-15 21:47:14 +0000 UTC
