Anxiety. Anyone Else? 0.o

I have been scratching my head like a mother*** all of today. Until I realized that no, it's not because felka is a grubby non-shower taker... it's anxiety manifested in the body. Great. Now what?

After a month of taking it easy (as I'm sure you've noticed that I was offline for the better part of a month) in order to protect my peace (after, you know, the literal termination of the project baby I had been nurturing on the internet for half a decade...), I've come back to the real world. And noticed that old feeling: anxiety. And let me tell you, I refuse to simply accept the anxiety, pain in my chest, the inability to breathe, the overall itchy feeling as a feature of my existence. And neither should you.

I didn't know I that anxiety felt this bad. Coming back to this unsettling state of being after spending time in nature, free of anxious thoughts... it's unbearable. And to think that I once thought that it was normal to feel like this. I thought it was normal to have thoughts racing, heart pounding, inability to talk to strangers at a party, despite desperately wanting to make new friends. When I realized that I was feeling this way, I got disappointed in myself. I felt like I was becoming someone who I did not want to be, and thus letting myself down.

...

I know I am not the only one. The news around the world just this weekend has been enough to make skin crawl. I come to say all of this for two big reasons.

1.) You are not alone in feeling like this. Meaning: you are not crazy.

2.) It does not have to be like this. I vow to fight to find a way to live an anxious-free life for me, my family, and most importantly, for you.

I understand the privilege it is to have been able to take a vacation to step away from the every day state of anxiousness.

If anyone has any ideas about what we can do to support each other, please comment below. While the audios are a great way to relax, for myself included (you have no idea how much they help me to create, but that's another story...), I want to do more.

If this has at all resonated with you, comment below to help other people see that they are not alone in their own struggles. this is after all, a community. Each one of you is so welcome here and is so loving. Anyone here would be willing to sit with you in hard times. I feel so blessed to have you here with me because I know you are so sweet, caring, hard working. Each one of you is so special.

If nobody has told you this lately, let me. I am proud of us for keeping our heads up.

With love,

your Felka