Jo's Fair, Page 2 (SD)
Added 2021-03-20 19:28:58 +0000 UTCPage 2 of Jo's Fair. I particularly love the lighting that Mouse did on this page.
UPDATE: I've revised the second half of the script after receiving some excellent feedback from Mouse. It necessitated changing the dialogue in the lower left panel (it will make sense why later) for that revision to make more sense.
Previously the dialogue read, "It'll be just like the State Championship" to "Thinking about our last fair?"
Obviously you never want to have to retool some that's already been completed, but the revision that occurred in the later pages has made the script so much better, into something that I feel is now very special, where prior I felt this issue was coming up a little short.
I'm very lucky to have people in my life who are open and honest with me regarding my work. It is always made better by their feedback.
Comments
Insecurity and self-doubt is a painful thing, and something that you all have managed to artistically and effectively portray in just a few panels. Can't wait for the next page, keep up the great work!
Randomgamer24
2021-03-31 06:06:17 +0000 UTC
