asmrmads

A Real, Honest Check-In From Me to You

Added 2025-06-23 21:40:56 +0000 UTC

Hi loves,

I want to take a moment to speak from a very real, very raw place. If you’re here on my Patreon, pledging support, I need you to know exactly who and what you’re supporting: a chronically ill human being doing her absolute best to survive, create, and show up.

Chronic illness is not linear. It’s not predictable. It changes minute to minute, and so does what I’m capable of. Some days I can create. Some days I can’t lift my head. Some days I’m fighting for my life, literally in hospitals, with fluid on my brain, dangerously low vitals, and pain that most people would crumble under. And yet, somehow, I’m still here.

What I won’t tolerate anymore is cruelty, assumptions, or harassment. If you’re here to nitpick my output, question my integrity, or turn your misunderstanding into a witch hunt — walk yourself out. I say that with love for myself and for my safety. I’ve tried being polite, explaining, over-explaining, and holding space for ignorance. But that grace has run out.

This isn’t just about me. It’s about how society treats people who are sick: we’re called lazy if we rest, and fakers if we show up in any capacity. It’s a losing game and it’s one that has nearly cost me my life more than once. The hounding, the judgment, the endless commentary from people who couldn’t survive five minutes in my body… it’s dangerous.

So here’s where I stand:

If you want to be here, you need to understand that chronic illness means inconsistency. It means hospitalizations, it means silence sometimes, it means symptoms that rob me of my energy, mobility, and mind. If that’s not something you can hold space for with empathy and compassion, then please — just quietly leave. I won’t be offended. But I also won’t let you stay and harm me.

To those of you who have stayed kind, patient, supportive — thank you. You have no idea the impact your compassion has. You are the reason I keep trying. Please don’t ever change your kind heart. This world desperately needs it.

I love you. I see you. I thank you.

And I’ll keep going — as best I can.

xoxo,

Maddie