asmrmads

THANK YOU FOR UR COMFORTING WORDS REGARDING SWEET, CATALINA

Added 2021-04-15 08:56:40 +0000 UTC

Hey loves💕

I want to thank all of you for your beyond sweet and comforting words regarding the loss of my sweet puppy, Catalina-A.K.A. Nana. They mean more than I will ever be able to express.

My world feels so empty without her.....my everyday doesn't feel the same. I feel homesick for her, and she's the only thing that can relieve that feeling that's in my chest. That feeling that's so painful and heavy....that feeling that makes it hard for me to get up and take care of myself in the way that I need to. Pushing through that feeling is painful and draining....at the end of the day when I've completed the simplest of tasks, I walk to go lay down with her, to find her empty bed that causes panic and anxiety every time I realize she's not there. Cat was my "baby blanket" if will -for over 10yrs. I am so lucky to have spend my childhood into adulthood with her by my side. What a treat it was to be loved by that sweet Nana.....She always knew exactly how to soothe me and when I needed her near.

Ive had 4 seizures this week, and its my first time truly being 100% alone through them without her here....When I wake up in the middle of the night during an episode I can't move, but can usually move my eyes just fine. So I will move them over to her bed seeking reassurance that I'm not alone and everything will be alright.... again only to find her still gone. I feel so broken and worn down by the devastating loss of her and the progression of my illnesses all together. Eventually I'll be okay, just not right now in this moment in time.

Again, thank you for reminding me im not alone in my pain and that this safe space is always here. Sometimes I need that little reminder as well.❤️ Catalina would have loved nothing more than to meet all of you and give out so many cuddles!!💕 I hope my sweet puppy is laying in the warm sun eating her favorite pop tarts right now, and getting to meet all your sweet angel puppies that have passed onto a better place.

I love you all lots and lots.