Unsacred Responsibility Chapter 2 - To Live With Your Own Failure

My name is Uatu.

I am a Watcher.

I took an oath to never intervene in worlds which I watch, an oath to remain eternal, a mere observer, a recorder of events. I watched, thus, an unfortunate, lamentable child. One, from a vastly different world, who had been born into the body of Peter Parker. He had come, not only into this body, but knowing all that would happen in this particular world. He had come with a gift: he could not be detected or registered by any third or fourth-dimensional being. Only those who existed in the Fifth Dimension and beyond could see that he did not belong. Thus, neither Sorcerer Supremes nor Authorities Beyond Time could sense him, nor sense a thing amiss with his actions and deeds. Yet, this gift, I saw, was temporary. Sooner or later, he would no longer be hidden, and once he was exposed, great chaos would unfold.

Even still, I determined myself to watch this unusual occurrence, this odd tale, to its end.

The tale of a man born as Peter Parker.

“Log Entry 001. Today is September 17th, 2007. My name is Peter Parker, and I am currently six years old. I decided to start keeping these logs because I’m worried I’ll forget things about my past, who I was before I came here, and what I’ve decided to do. I can’t talk to anyone about this because no one will believe me, and there’s a risk these recordings will be found, but I feel like I’ll go crazy if I don’t have some way to organize my thoughts. I probably won’t update this every day, just when I have things to work through. As technology improves, I’ll add different ways to encrypt these, but for now, this is what I’ve got.”

He, this man, was like everyone else.

“Log Entry 003. It is give or take a year before the events of Iron Man 1. It still feels so weird thinking about being in the MCU. It’s weird because a lot of things exist normally in the real world, like Tesla, Elon Musk, Star Wars, every Disney Movie, Bill Gates, Microsoft, Apple, Google, even Drake, Rihanna, and Beyoncé. If it weren’t for Tony Stark being on the cover of Time Magazine, I wouldn’t believe I was in a different world. I didn’t think so many things would be so similar. Fortunately, because it is, I’m going to invest heavily in Bitcoin and Stark Industries stock. Sorry, Jameson, this Parker isn’t going to be taking pictures of Spider-Man to earn a living.”

Filled with love and passion for the world and its inhabitants, he sought to save it from impending destruction. 

“Log Entry 016. After giving it a lot of thought, I decided, no matter what, I need to stop the attack on New York. I’m afraid of changing things because of the TVA, but it's been a while since I’ve been here, and if they were going to show up, they’d have done so already. Maybe I lucked out? This universe doesn’t have them? Or the changes I’m making aren’t really big? I don’t know. Either way, I can’t let people die if I can do something to save them. Not only because that's what any decent person would do, but because that’s what Spider-Man would do. Hey, if I’m in the body, I might as well take on the responsibilities, right?”

“Log Entry 030. From today, I’m going to start screaming out Heimdall’s name. I’ll tell him about how Loki is going to try to sneak some Frost Giants into Asgard on Thor’s coronation. Heimdall can see everything, so even if he thinks it's just the nonsensical rantings of a crazy Midgardian child, it’ll be in his mind, at least. Maybe that will cause Loki’s attempts to fail? Crossing my fingers.”

He had dreams, like everyone else.

“Log Entry 129. Heimdall listened! He actually listened! Thor didn’t show up in New Mexico! Thor wasn’t banished! Which means Loki won’t fall off the Bifröst! No invasion! No battle for New York! No scepter means no Wanda, which means no Ultron, and no Civil War! I can’t believe it! I did it! I did it! Oh my god, I actually did it! Alright, keep it cool, Petey, keep it cool. Now, I’ve just gotta convince Tony about aliens and Thanos, somehow. Anyway, at least, without Loki’s invasion, we should have some time to prepare.”

He had hopes, like everyone else.

“Log Entry 342. Uncle Ben is Dead. Aunt May is dead. Tony is dead. Clint, Natasha… most of everyone. I prevented Loki’s invasion. Ebony Maw came.”

He had aspirations, like everyone else.

“Log Entry 350. Without falling to earth, without getting the humility lesson, King Thor… arrogant, bloodthirsty, waged war against the Children of Thanos here on earth. No care for collateral damage. No care for lives. billions… god…Billions! Billions! What have I done?  What have I done? I need to fix this. I need to fix this. I’ll fix it.”

He felt a sense of responsibility, like everyone else.

“Log Entry 481. Hope van Dyne died during the Invasion of the Children of Thanos. Hank Pym swallowed a bullet shortly after. There’s no one to build the first workable time machine. If Tony Stark was alive… maybe… maybe he would have done it… But… No. Fine. I’ll do it myself. Becoming an expert on Quantum Physics isn’t so bad. I’m Peter Parker. I’m smart… but I don’t know how much time I have. I don’t know how many Infinity Stones Thanos already has.”

“Log Entry 712. After several hundreds of failed attempts, I realized, Instead of creating a device that sends my body back in time, I can create a method to send my memories back in time using quantum entanglement, similar to what Janet van Dyne did with Scott to send him a dream of her past… this should cause the least amount of problems. I’ll be a ‘Regressor’ rather than a ‘Time Traveler.’”

“Log Entry 1023. Thanos Snapped. I lucked out. Half of the already halved populace is dusted. The earth is down to two billion people now, if even that.

…

…

My coffee is getting cold.”

He was filled with a desire to be good, like everyone else.

“Log Entry 001-A. It took me fifteen years to understand the quantum processes well enough, but I did it. I did it. I came back. I have to fix things this time. I have to make things better. I’m probably the world’s foremost Quantum Physicist by this point, which should help. I’ve set it up so my memories will always be sent back in time on my death as a precaution, and if I did this correctly, it won’t even be sensed as time travel. The downside is that it can only send the last set of memories, like a game with one save file. The quantum entanglement will also end completely if I ever enter a dimension with different laws of physics… which I need to watch out for. In addition, I need to make sure someone can’t just read my mind and get all my knowledge, I’ll ensure I put the memories in a state of superposition…”

He wanted to be a hero, like everyone else.

“I can't prevent Thor’s arrival, nor Loki’s Invasion, because the Children of Thanos will come for the Tesseract. I can warn people, prepare beforehand… try to minimize the casualties of Loki’s invasion as much as possible...”

The universe, sadly, would not let him.

“Log Entry 034-A. Shield is coming for me. I don’t understand. They seem to be under the impression that I’m a Skrull?”

It would never let him.

“Log Entry 058-A. I’ve become an International Criminal. Hydra and Shield are still too heavily interconnected at this point. I’ve made a mistake.”

For unfortunate reasons.

“Log Entry 001-B. I had to go back again. They suspected I knew more than I was hiding. I couldn’t let myself be captured by Shield. They had the entire world hunting me. This means I can’t warn people about the alien invasion… I’ll have to try something else.”

For the multiverse, despite its beauty, held great cruelty.

“Log Entry 444-E. I don’t understand. Why did the Avengers not come together? What went wrong? Because Coulson survived? Does Coulson have to die to get them to work together?”

“Log Entry 381-G. No, no, no, I don’t get it! How did Natasha get her neck snapped by the Hulk?! I don’t understand! What did I change? What did I do wrong?!”

“Log Entry 428-K. Barton died in the invasion? Come on! Fucking come on! Damn it!”

“Log Entry 001-N. Alright… do nothing, change nothing, this time… this time… everything should work.”

“Log Entry 444-Q. They sent the nuke early. The council… sent the nuke… early? Why? Why?”

“Log Entry 303-V. Tony didn’t make it back from the portal… that’s fine… that’s fine… next attempt… next time…”

Indeed, it could be cruel.

“Log Entry 718-Y. The Avengers keep failing. Why do the Avengers keep failing? Even when I change nothing and do nothing, they keep failing. I want to give up. I really want to. But I can’t. I can’t. Knowledge is power, and metaknowledge is great power. With great power comes great responsibility. I can’t have this knowledge and not use it. Spider-Man wouldn’t sit back and do nothing if he knew half the universe was going to die.”

“This is my responsibility. My sacred responsibility.”

I watched his attempts continue.

Tens.

Hundreds.

Failure upon failure.

I watched how every action, every deed, even every inaction, created ripples of change. Even the mundane act of buying a candy bar, would lead to a different person not eating that bar, which would lead to changes in conversation with others because that bar was absent, which would lead to changes in actions, and changes in thoughts and deeds, which accumulated, one after the other like dominos falling one upon the next.

I had watched, once, in a much different world, a different Mad Titan commit an unlikely act of kindness, aiding an old woman to cross a street, knowing full well the ramifications of that action, knowing it would cause the greatest carnage. So too, did I watch unfortunate Peter, never grasp that his mere presence caused grand, great, significant changes, altering entire lives and diverging countless paths.

Until, at last, he came to understand it.

“Log Entry 777-ZZB. I’ve hijacked and modified Zola’s Algorithm, adding in a bit of quantum computing, feeding in every bit of information I have about the MCU… the Great Spider-Web Algorithm should give me the right steps I need to minimize the butterfly effect… a way to prevent the invasion, stop the Snap and save the world.”

And in doing so, he faced despair.

“Log Entry 780-ZZB. The GSW Algorithm seems to be having some issues. It’s telling me the world will end if I stop the Snap. I'm trying to correct it now.”

“Log Entry 782-ZZB. The GSW Algorithm works perfectly for everything, but it keeps coming back with a ‘bad end’ if I stop the Snap. Why? How? I don’t understand… No, I’ll run it again.”

“Log Entry 784-ZZB. The simulations must be wrong.  I’ll run it again. Again. Again!”

“Log Entry 810-ZZB. There is no mistake. Thanos won’t stop even if I kill Gamora and prevent him from getting all six Infinity Stones. The only reason he’s using them is to be clean… efficient. Without them, he’ll continue his mad quest all the same, the way he always has… planet by planet, massacre by massacre… His armies will still raze the earth, half of all life on it. It seems the only way is to kill Thanos.”

“Log Entry 814-ZZB. Killing Thanos leads to a game over. I’d forgotten about Tiamut, the Celestial Seed planted on the earth. The Snap delayed the Emergence. Eliminating the Snap brings the Emergence forward. The Eternals are the only ones who can stop it. Yet, Ikaris doesn’t kill Ajax if the Snap never happens. The Eternals don’t stop Tiamut’s Emergence if the Snap never happens. In preventing the Snap, Tiamut emerges five years early, and everyone on earth dies.”

“Log Entry. Hahaha… hahahaha! HAHAHAHA! FUCK YOU! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!”

“Log Entry. I can’t do it. I can’t. This responsibility is too heavy. It demands too much. It’s just cosmic world-ending threat after cosmic world-ending threat. Being a Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man is impossible when the neighborhood is always one galactic threat away from destruction.”

“Log Entry. I’ve decided to erase myself. Erase all my memories to allow a Peter Parker without my influence to grow, then I’ll hop back before Civil War and confess everything, all my future knowledge, I’ll give it to Tony. Maybe he can handle it, because I can’t. I can’t do this alone. I used to think the world-ending threats were fascinating to watch, but living through them… I would not wish existence in this universe upon my worst enemy. I hope Tony listens to me. God, I hope he does. Because I finally understand him. A Suit of Armor Around the World… I’m afraid we’re going to need much more than that, Mr. Stark.”

Alas, the opportunity he sought never came.

The protection offered to him, the grace that hid him from the eyes of others, had been stretched to its limits.

It was weakened.

The Ancient One sensed at once an anomaly, as did several forces, baffled and confused as to from whence this anomaly came. On varying planes of existence, changes happened. Thus, the quantum calculations that allowed his memories to return were shifted.

He awoke, as himself, in a classroom, as Peter Parker, unaware that such was not the first time he had done so, a great portion of his memories lagging behind. They would have arrived in the following hour.

The Ancient One arrived first.

In killing him, his last set of memories became that of dying at her hand.

All of what came before was gone.

His memories of dying by her were sent back, entangled with himself, with his past, until he awoke reborn. For two years, he lived, the final grace given to him by the weakened protection, before that, too, ceased entirely.

He was found once again and killed once again. The calculations were shifted. Rather than his birth, his memories would return to moments before his death. These memories were both ‘there’ and ‘not there’ by his design, to ensure no one would pilfer his secrets. When he thought of them, they were there, but when others searched for them, they were not.

In any other circumstance, having a guarantee that his memories of his ‘future’ could not be seen would be a great boon. Alas, when facing the Ancient One, a Sorcerer Supreme, finding no recollection in his mind of a time loop and feeling no deviations to time…

She would never believe his claim.

Seventeen million, four hundred and sixty-seven thousand, eight hundred and four times—

He died.

The only way to end such horror was to be sent to a place entirely beyond the reaches of time, where laws of physics ceased, and quantum entanglements broke down completely. The Observational Plane from which I observed the multiverse was one such place, but no mortal would ever be allowed here.

I had hoped instead, desperately, something would change, something would be different, some means or method would arise that would end his torment. For I was a Watcher, and just as many watched the struggles of their beloved warriors and heroes, unable to affect their fate, I had sworn an oath to do the same.

To never intervene.

I had sworn it.

“ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? ONE ABOVE ALL! HEIMDALL! WATCHER! ANY OF YOU! COME ON! ARE YOU NOT FUCKING ENTERTAINED?!”

Indeed, I swore it.

Despite this, the beings I swore whose lives I was to never intervene in had not, never, not once, screamed out to me, nor cursed me, for they were unaware that I watched them. For one who was aware, in watching his suffering after witnessing his countless valiant attempts of saving a world I and he had come to love, attempts he could not even remember…

I, Uatu, was not entertained.

Thus, I, Uatu—

“Dormammu.”

“Who dares to— y-you?!”

Broke my oath.

=====)+(=====

I had a strange dream.

I… couldn’t remember what it was.

The sound of crickets came. I stared upwards to a blank, starless sky.

In the end, it mattered little.

I had an Omega Level Mutant to kill.

And I had a Multiverse to burn.