Is It Wrong To Crave Love (In A Dungeon) Chapter 2 - Real

There were two things Hestia found curious about the boy.

The first was his name: Moses.

It took some effort for the name to roll off her tongue. It wasn’t from the Far East, and it wasn’t something she recognized as belonging to the naming conventions typical of Orario. Moses explained, animatedly, with his hands waving about, gesticulating as he spoke, that he had come from a ‘land, far, far away.’ The naming customs were different and varied there, he said, and the name had been given by his adoptive mother. 

He said the name had a special meaning, and that, even though he never saw eye-to-eye with the woman, he still valued the name.  

“You can call me Zee or Mosey for short, my Goddess.”

That was the second thing that Hestia found curious.

The way he addressed her.

Not as “Lady Hestia” or “Goddess,” but “My goddess.” 

There were variants that she had kept track of, as they made their way away from the library:

“My dear goddess.”

“My one and only goddess.”

“My beloved goddess.”

Each form of address carried a term of endearment that made Hestia’s chest puff up in pride, and her stomach danced every time he said it. He was the first member of her Familia, her first child, and she was his first goddess. That connection was special. 

They talked animatedly as they made their way from the front of the library to a run-down bookstore. There, an older human stood behind the counter, with a bespectacled look and a short, white beard. He chuckled as he waved her in.

“Ah, Lady Hestia. If this is about your Familia, I still say no.”

“It’s not that!” She pouted. “Can we use the upstairs room, please?”

“Of course. That’s no problem. Just put the books back on the shelf when you finish reading them.”

Moses glanced around the bookstore with excited eyes, and his gaze was dancing about the many varying books on the shelves. She took note of the excitement, grabbed his hand, and took him upstairs, into a room that smelled of old wood and aged books.

There were books on every corner in the room. Books high up to the ceiling, books stacked from corner to corner, and books piled up on the floor in front of shelves.

Hestia loved books and stories, but, having only arrived in Gekai, she didn’t have the funds to purchase any of them. Befriending that old bookstore owner was one of the only ways she was able to enjoy books and indulge herself in stories, legends, myths, poems, and fine literature.

She had decided a long time ago that she would give her first blessing to a child in this room. She had the wish, the desire, to start a new journey from a place surrounded by what she loved.

What could be better than beginning a new story surrounded by many books?

“Okay, take off your clothes and sit here.”

Moses went ramrod stiff. “My goddess, shouldn’t we get to know each other…”

“What are you thinking of?” She waved hurriedly. “I need you to take off your shirt so I can engrave my blessing into you!”

“Oh.”

The boy was hesitant. At first, Hestia thought it was because he was shy, but as he gradually took off his oversized shirt, she understood there was something more to it.

Her excitement about applying her Falna faltered upon seeing the state of his body. His ribs were clearly visible, his body looked frail like glass, as though the lightest of breeze would blow him over. There were no scars or wounds or signs of maltreatment, but he was in truly poor condition, as though he had been starving for weeks, if not months.

The boy felt, or perhaps sensed, her worried gaze, so he rapidly cleared his throat. “I know, I’m not… strong… or well, I didn’t really have much to eat… when I was wandering the dungeon.”

Truth.

The room was so quiet, all of Orario could have heard a pin drop.

Moses scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “It’s still so surprising to me. When I woke up and climbed out of that body of water. Everywhere was pitch dark, and I could barely see anything. There was this giant pillar of like, green quartz, and there were… well… monsters, feeding from it. I’m guessing I was lucky because they were already fed, so they didn’t attack me? Or maybe they didn’t notice me. But, I hid, and ran, and kept running and hiding…”

Truth.

Hestia slowly gripped her palms. Giant pillar? The Pantry? Hephaestus, her close friend, had mentioned the existence of the Pantry before. A place within the dungeon where monsters gathered to eat. Hestia was certain that the earliest one would encounter a pantry was on at least the seventh floor.

“I figured, if I kept going upwards, I’d find the exit eventually… and one night, I did,” the boy tapped the side of his forehead. “I used to be a taxi dri— I mean, coachman. I’ve got a good sense of direction and a good memory for roads, even in pitch darkness. It really helped in preventing me from getting lost. Though I got lost once or twice… or more.”

Truth.

He chuckled.

“I have you to thank, my goddess.”

“M-me?”

“Through it all, I heard your voice.”

Truth.

“You kept supporting me.”

Truth.

“You kept telling me not to give up. That I could do it. That I could make it.”

Truth.

“I really don’t think I could have made it through those three months without you.”

Truth.

Hestia felt dizzy.

Three… months?

Three months, as a human without a Falna, wandering about blindly from at least the seventh floor until he reached the surface, without any equipment, tools, rations, food, or resources? Without any method to defend himself? And he managed to make it out of there on his own?

Three months running and hiding from monsters, aware that getting hit once, even by the weakest of goblins, would have killed him?

While it was true that there were humans in the Ancient Times who managed to perform superhuman feats without the aid of any divine blessings from a god, without a Falna, and without skills, this was no longer the Ancient Times. Doing such a thing in the Era of the Gods—

With him looking at her with those intense eyes, she absolutely could not say that she had no hand in it. If she told him that she had not even been aware of his existence before today, that she certainly hadn't been the one who helped him survive, what would that do to him?

No, no, no, you can’t do it, Hestia!

She couldn’t. She absolutely couldn’t tell him the truth. She could not tell him he had survived by clinging on to his own stubborn determination, and for whatever reason, that determination manifested as her voice.

But… Why me?

She couldn’t ask. At least, not now. Not yet. Asking might let the cat out of the bag. She was also allowed to be selfish, sometimes, and she wanted him, this child, in her Familia.

And how did he not get found?

Even if he was actively avoiding them, without a Falna, could he really be so good at hiding as to be able to evade the senses of monsters and adventurers for three straight months?

Hestia focused on Moses again, truly, deeply focusing on him. She hadn’t paid much attention to it before, but now, she noticed the perpetual smell of seawater on him. It was really potent. He smelled really like the sea, or like someone who had spent a long time soaking in it, or wading in it, or swimming in it.

Slowly, Hestia pushed him flat on the ground.

“My goddess?”

She laid her head against his chest. His body was cold. Not as cold as a corpse, but still, far, far colder than normal. She placed her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat.

Slow.

It was very, very slow.

Hestia pursed her lips as she stared into his eyes. A flush of red finally entered his cheeks. As it did, his body began to heat up. She pressed her head to his chest again and found his heart rate had risen.

Wait…?

“Zee.”

“Yes, my goddess?”

She pouted and moved closer, staring into his eyes. He stared back, but began to sweat. A redness flushed his cheeks, and his body began to heat up. The smell of seawater also started to fade, and instead, Hestia could smell the lingering scent of smoke… of fire.

As a goddess, illusions, deceptions, and magic spells that affected mortals or mortal creatures had no effect on her. This wasn’t an illusion, nor was it some magic. The smell of his body and the changes they were all due to something fundamental.

His soul…?

She was aware that some gods back in Tenkai found the work of washing souls clean before sending them back down to Gekai to be mind-numbing and dull, and some individuals wouldn’t be thoroughly ‘scrubbed’ as well as they should be. There was typically no way to know when that happened, but she was beginning to suspect this was something similar. 

His soul is intertwined with his emotions.

What he felt, his emotions, translated directly to his soul, and that in turn affected his body. Neither the result of a skill nor magic, but a feature of his soul itself. 

Words of affection and affirmation would push him, and ergo, his soul, beyond his limits, making it stronger and brighter, but the inverse was true: a depressive episode, sadness, or loneliness would make his soul fainter and fainter, and could extinguish his life completely.

Considering what he would have been feeling at the time, while lost and alone in the dungeon, Hestia wagered an uncomfortable guess.

“Adventurers ignored you when you were wandering the dungeon… right?”

His eyes widened. Slowly, he nodded.

“At the time, I thought it was because they couldn’t understand the language I was speaking or because I was suspicious. They acted as though they couldn’t see or hear me.”

They weren’t acting.

His soul would have been incredibly faint. So faint, it would affect his body and presence. Barring Gods, Hestia wagered only Level 2 Adventurers upwards would have noticed him, but over 50% of adventurers were Level 1.

Even if he followed them blindly, keeping up with the travelling pace of Level 1 Adventurers was not something a person without a Falna could do easily while prepared and fit, let alone someone who was starved and exhausted. Hephaestus had told her as much, that on the very, very rare occasions she entered the dungeon, she had to be carried by one of her children or another because there was no other way to keep up with them stamina-wise. 

The fundamental boost in abilities given to humans by a Falna could not be underestimated.

It was dangerous, even, to follow blindly, as adventurers fought monsters as they travelled, and even one stray arrow, one glancing blow, or one large area magic spell would have him be collateral damage with none the wiser.

The smell of seawater…

Loneliness translated from his soul into his body as the smell of seawater. 

This child…

Hestia wrapped her arms around his chest and body, slowly pressing tight against him.

“My goddess? What are you… doing?”

“I’m hugging you.”

He tilted his head. “I can see that… but why?”

“Because you need a hug.”

“But I’ve not yet done anything to earn one?”

Hestia frowned. She squeezed him tighter.

“My g-goddess?”

“Zee, hugs aren’t things you need to earn.”

“Oh.”

“You needed a hug, so I’m giving you one and that’s that.”

His body grew warmer.

“Can I… hug you back?”

“You don’t need to ask, Zee. You can give me as many hugs as you want.”

His arms wrapped around her waist softly, as though he was afraid he would squeeze too tightly, or afraid she would push him away. He held on to her, in silence, without a word, and gradually squeezed her closer, and tighter, hugging with trembling, shaking arms.

“My goddess.”

“Yes, Zee?”

“Am I dreaming?”

“You’re not.”

“Are you sure?”

Hestia nodded. “I’m very sure.”

“I don’t think… I could handle it if my alarm rang, and I woke up from this moment…” he whispered. “I don’t think I could… not after this.”

Hestia straddled him, she grabbed his face gently, and stared into his eyes, as intensely and as fiercely as she could. Those eyes of his were distant, glossy. She stared until they focused on her. Until they saw her.

She took his hand and placed it on her chest.

“Can you feel it? My heart?”

“I can.”

She took his other hand and placed it on his own chest.

“Do you feel yours?”

“I do.”

Hestia gently took his hand again.

“You are here, with me, at this moment.”

She interlocked her fingers with his.

“This is real.”

Moses closed his eyes.

“My dear goddess.”

He whispered.

“Thank you.”