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MrPlotThickens
MrPlotThickens

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Question/Poll about the Naruto story [Poll]

About - Naruto: The Book Eating Daimyo

I think chapter 1 came out pretty well. But chapters 2,3,4 not so much.

I personally feel that it's the young MC that did it. Having to write an MC from birth to adulthood does not fit well for smutfic. Not unless I skim through entire childhood in just one chapter.

While many of you have shown love for the new chapters, many have also said that it feels rushed. So, I have 2 options.

You can help me decide what to do with this story with this poll.

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CHOICE 1 - Redo the story from chapter 1.

In the new iteration, the MC wakes up in the body of an already 16 or 17-year-old Ikkyu. The guy is the good-for-nothing son of the Fire Daimyo, big into women, gambling, and all the trash. Dies from overdosing on some good stuff.

Scroll Eating will remain the same, but I might introduce some restrictions to it. Otherwise, the MC becomes absurdly broken in power scaling.

MC starts with a low chakra again, but this time, he's already old enough and actively improves his chakra with training.

In this new version of Ikkyu, the MC won't be as kind and sweet. He'll be more gray and won't try to hide it from anyone. He'll still try to hide his illegal operations, but he won't act sweet and kind to everyone.

In this story, Kushina is by default alive because Minato decided not to take the chance and save Kushina as well. MC's relationship with Uchiha will remain the same, as the MC is still going to be the future Daimyo.

NOTE: Relationship with Tsunade will remain the same. She still saved the original Ikkyu's life when he was a baby. But in this iteration, she won't send him the seal. MC will have to actively seek Tsunade, earn her approval, and get it personally.

This time, there won't be any shortcuts. He'll have to work hard for every powerful scroll. His name is already ruined because of the original Ikkyu, who was a big, famous asshole.

MC Tags: Cunning, Ruthless, Power Hungry, Money Hungry, Kingdom Building, Smut, Manipulation, Grey Character.

Basically, less childish, more adult, gritty, bloody, and the MC is sort of a villain, but not really. He doesn't want to destroy the world or anything. He just wants to get strong and rich, and rule as a powerful Daimyo in the future. Who keeps Konoha under his command, not as an independent thing.

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CHOICE 2 - Drop the story entirely.

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CHOICE 3 - Continue as is.

Comments

Like the fic so far don't see the need to do a rewrite. But it does feel rushed. Would like some expansion on relationship with Mikoto

MacZeuss

Honestly, just do what you want. As long as you keep writing, it counts as a win. Although, I vote for choice 1 (even though the poll is over). I'm not in love with the mc getting into dirty business rather than just improving the nation. If you decide you want to do more naruto. You could age up the characters to 18 at graduation rather than at 13 (chakra is the combination of physical and mental/spiritual energy, so it would stand that a person should be reasonable physically and mentally developed before they gain enough chakra to train with (so they could start at 12 years of age instead of 6). Finally, since you seem to do a lot of conquering type stuff, I'd be cool if you made another fic about Sasuke growing to become a powerful shinobi while redeveloping the uchiha clan into power (aka, marrying ino, hinata, terumi, etc. for alliances, re-establishing political and economic power, preparing to annihilate root for sasuke to eventually become hokage, making a permanent connection with a sage land for the uchiha clan, etc) .

Jared Hatcher

Correct. Maybe 3 scrolls at best. Every 2 years.

MrPlotThickens

Author - Also cap MC scroll eating ability to make him grounded in Naruto world. Otherwise the fights would not be interesting.

Banana19

I get you. That's why I said making child MC was an issue. When MC met Kushina she was already dating Minato. That entire Kushina getting kidnapped thing had already happened. Also. MC turned 18 when Naruto is already 4. That much age difference didn't leave a lot of space to mess around with Kushina. If I'd done something. Patreon would've flagged it.

MrPlotThickens

For me, the story is fine, just a bit rushed. What rubs me the wrong way is the Kushina part ,you shouldn’t build up the relationship like they were childhood friends, only for her to get pregnant by another guy. It feels like the mc got cucked; he liked her but still let her be with someone else without doing anything about it. (I’m here to goon and it’s ruined my satisfaction😮‍💨)

Atta

So perhaps a redo from the second chapter onward might be better. You could largely preserve the relationships from the OG chapters but fix the power scaling. It might also be better to tweak how he discovers his power, as I do not really get how exactly his prison in the scroll room was kept secret for so long by one jackass.

Kermit The Frog

Good news, looks like my Patreon works again. No actual response on my support ticket but whatever. As for this poll, I would largely agree that the last chapters have felt rushed. As someone who knows next to nothing about Naruto, it is also a bit hard to follow along with all the various characters. My biggest gripe with this story though has to be the scroll eating and its power scaling. Being able to copy a scrolls contents and instantly learn the technique better than the writer makes no sense. In my opinion, handicapping the ability to only absorb the peak knowledge of the original writer at the time they made the scroll would work much better. It would also prevent him from just copying the scrolls and putting them back. If you wanted him to still have that ability, make it so the comprehension he gains from the copied scroll decrease in value and efficacy.

Kermit The Frog

3, but transaction to choice 1 for a more mature storyline. Maybe draw some ideas from your other works for sure. Till next time Author, Godspeed.

Goxo

Sure. I only mentioned her as a passing statement. That Fugaku introduced her as his wife to be arranged by his parents. But I'll expand the skipped time in memories later.

MrPlotThickens

Last 2 chapters felt little rushed but it is fine. I do not have any issues with current theme But i am more confused on how and when MC met Uchiha's Matriarch. So if you can just elaborate on that like their first encounters and subsequent progression when you have time it is good. If not leave it as it is.

Banana19


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