Big Daddy Dispatch: May 2025

Dispatch Ninety-Six, April 30th, 2025

Greetings WHM Family!

Just in from the head office, we’ve decided to change our calendar somewhat. Here on the east coast the weather is already topping out at 80+ degrees, and we are sweating, so we figured, fuck it, let’s start the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza one month early! We’d programmed a pretty stacked month for May and we couldn’t help ourselves, that adds up to three months of big, fun titles! Get out your sunscreen and sprawl out on the beach with four guys that will never voluntarily take their shirts off in public!

Banner Credit: We Hate Movies Logo by Felipe Sobreiro

Image Credit: WHM Publicity Department

WHM GOES ABROAD

UK Friends, have you got your tickets yet for our residency at the Oxford Comedy Festival? If you haven’t you might run into one of these:

That’s right, two out of six shows have already sold out and tickets are moving fast on the remaining four. You don’t want to miss out on this one, our first trip across the pond!

July 18th – Early Show: Animation Damnation on TMNT’s “Elementary My Dear Turtle”

July 18th – Late Show: WHM on Quantum of Solace SOLD OUT!

July 19th – Early Show: Gleep Glossary on Darth Vader

July 19th – Late Show: WLM on Hellraiser SOLD OUT!

July 20th – Early Show: The Nexus on TNG’s “Sub Rosa”

July 20th – Late Show: WHM on King Ralph

LAST MONTH ON WHM

Episode 792 – Enemy of the State

Tony Scott’s work returns to the program once again as the boys go on the run with unexpected CIA most-wanted poster boy Will Smith, who teams up with Gene Hackman to avoid a frame-up being engineered around him to cover-up the assassination of Jason Robards. How far would you go to avenge Jason Robards? Is Hackman supposed to be Harry Caul in his older years? How many major stars are packed into the tech-team roles in this movie? Literally, the future of TV and film comedy and Barry Pepper are just chasing Will Smith around for like two hours here. Pretty damn good, if you ask us.

Episode 793 – Punisher: War Zone

God, why can’t we just get a good ultra-violent Punisher movie? monkey’s paw curls down a finger The fellas hit the mean streets of pre-MCU Marvel movies to confront the second-best Punisher movie and the third best iteration of Frank Castle, who is tasked with taking down a power-hungry Jigsaw and his ultra-strong psycho brother. Is all the grade-A violence worth it for the horrid everything-else? Why does it feel so wrong to see Wayne Knight get shot in the head? Are we ever going to get the Jon Bernthal Punisher movie that we all want and deserve or what? Rest in peace to the great king, Ray Stevenson. You deserved Star Wars and more, you beautiful giant.

Episode 794 – The Judge

Chris Cabin turns in his Trailer Game coin, gifted to him by Lance Reddick at The Continental, to force the other guys to sit down and watch The Judge, easily among the most demented, nonsensical, and nauseating works to be released in theaters by a major studio in the 2010s. Where to begin? The fake incest? What the fake incest is covering up? The drippy water-shitting bonding moment between Iron Man and Robert Duvall? Jeremy Strong’s...dedicated...performance as RDJ’s younger brother? Billy Bob Thornton’s disengaged villain who secretly loves RDJ? The ludicrous murder plot? Vera Farmiga? Where?! Where do you begin?! Just listen, you guys.

Episode 795 – The Conversation (PATRONS ONLY)

Following the passing of former Greatest Living American Actor, Gene Hackman, the very least we could do is dedicate this month’s We Love Movies to one of his crowning glories, his vicious and heartbreaking collaboration with miracle-run-era Francis Ford Coppola, in which he plays a surveillance expert who lets a seemingly easy case get the best of him. Do any of the WHM boys have the patience for surveillance work? Is Bernie Moran a suck-up loser or a conniving master? What exactly is Teri Garr’s relationship to Hackman in this movie? It’s Teri Garr, so any relationship will do, but we’re still interested.

Episode 796–  The Accountant

A slight balm to ease Andrew, Steve, Eric, and Chris out of The Judge and back into the world of stupid action-flick plotting. Oh, god damnit, there’s a weird autism performance in this one too?!? Son of a bitch. Whatever, anyway, why can’t we get more brother-to-brother hitman shenanigans between Affleck and Bernthal? Is The Accountant 2 an example of “I Got It By the Way” sequel triumph? What the fuck is with the J.K. Simmons protégé storyline? Wait, it’s in the sequel too?! God damnit! Make 90-minute stupid action movies again please! PLEASE!

Episode 797 – The Craft with Angelica Jade Bastién

The gang welcomes back show-favorite Angelica Jade Bastién of New York magazine to talk about a 90s teen-movie staple, in which four outcast teen girls harness their inner-witch powers and find that you should watch what you wish for, even when you’re a for-real witch. Why is Fairuza Balk the secondary character here to Robin Tunney? That just feels wrong. Was it a strong decision to have Christine Taylor’s character be so, so, so racist? Is Eric doing okay? Why is the book-selling witch giving away world-destroying powers to women who can’t legally drink yet? Shout out to Szyszka favorite Cliff De Young as Robin Tunney’s dad!

WHAT ARE WE WATCHING?

This is a space for us to talk about some NON-We Hate Movies related content that we've shoved into our eyeballs in the last month: TV, Movies, Cartoons, and Sports (maybe?). Just about anything that isn't pornography.

Andrew: Shiver Me Timbers (2025) - This was that Popeye horror movie I was talking about on whatever On-Screen Live broadcast it was that these horrendous public domain horror flicks came up. This one is an all-Scottish cast who try their very best to push down those brogues, with very little success. All the kills showcase really cheap-looking CGI gore effects which are distracting. Like I said on Letterboxd, it’s not without its Z-grade charms, but no one should feel like they need to support creatively bankrupt shit like this.

Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023) - Yeah, more free-IP schlock you shouldn’t waste your time with. I’ll never get those 84 minutes back.

Paddington in Peru (2024) - Now here’s a movie about an adorable bear from my childhood I can get behind! It’s not as good as the first two, but it’s still wildly entertaining and sweet. I’ll gladly watch more of these delightful little movies should they choose to make them happen. 

Back in Action (2025) - I was surprised this wasn’t worse, but I was even more surprised to see that it’s basically the same story as that Mark Wahlberg movie, The Family Plan, only this time it’s both Cameron Diaz and Jamie Foxx who are retired spies who accidentally have their cover blown by an embarrassing viral video, who then have to meet up with an estranged parent who is also in the same business they have been trying to stay out of for 15 years. There’s even a scene where they’re driving a minivan and singing dated music in front of their embarrassed progeny! Biggest difference is that this movie has better action than The Family Plan. It’s a perfectly innocuous title to put on when visiting with family, so keep that in your back pocket for any upcoming summer vacations or holidays. For what it’s worth, it was great seeing Cameron Diaz back in a movie!

Cleaner (2025) - Martin Campbell, what happened, my dude? This thing is a real snooze, folks. I hope Daisy Ridley is able to find some more interesting projects soon. I think she’s totally charming as Rey, but boy, all post-sequel trilogy movies have been real clunkers, Cleaner included. Woof. Oh, and enjoy the twelve seconds of screen time the great Clive Owen has! What are we doing?!?

Blue Ice (1992) - Michael Caine stars as a retired spy who gets back in the game to help an embattled diplomat’s wife (Sean Young) blow the lid off some major conspiracy, yada, yada. Lotta Michael Caine making out with Sean Young in this movie, FYI. It’s pretty funny because the whole thing starts with Young accidentally rear-ending Caine’s car and that launches Sir Michael into a classic Caine Freak-Out. It’s in-full on YouTube and it’s a recommend.

The Crucible (1996) - This one had slipped through the cracks for me, so before taking in a performance of John Proctor is the Villain the other night, Chelsea and I checked this out and it’s fabulous. DDL and Winona are fantastic, as is most of the rest of the cast. Wild that Arthur Miller wrote the screenplay himself and yet the movie isn’t 4 hours long. Top Tier Bruce Davison as well, by the way. Definitely Nicholas Hytner’s best film.

Chris:  Vulcanizadora (2024): The most cohesive and viscerally effective film yet from Michigan’s own Joel Potrykus, who has been steadily building a riveting catalog of puckish, abrasive, and wildly original fables of young men in America struggling with accepted (and expected) masculine codes. Horror fans in general – those into the psychological side of things especially – will likely find something to like or love in this morbidly funny story of two childhood friends who plan to make good on a pact they made when they were in high school. Potrykus, who also wrote and co-stars in the film, is unrelentingly attentive to all the selfishness, despair, and real pain that drives a certain kind of young white man but he also refuses to let any of that drown out the fact that these men are idiots who earnestly love Godsmack and the limited-edition Jägermeister grail they got on discount. Potrykus clearly feels for these kinds of guys, especially in their inability to find someone or some institution that can offer a moral code or even just sincere sympathy when they’ve strayed into unknown territory, but he can’t help but laugh a little at their blundering attempts to express themselves honestly and come to terms with everything they’ve done to themselves and others. A more-than-worthy follow-up to Potrykus’s miraculous Relaxer.

Havoc (2025): A goddamn mess is what it is. Well-made and pleasingly active in parts yet immediately disposable in its lack of overall effectiveness. The narrative is convoluted yet totally predictable in its trajectory; a very good cast cannot miraculously make add-water-and-shake character set-ups into emotional beings when they are crafted exclusively to serve the propulsion of the narrative; good action cannot be made satisfying if everything is dark and then you ladle CGI blood all over it. No doubt there are people out there who will slurp down this swill and snort at you for not being satisfied with the meager helpings of D-grade violence here. Ignore them. They probably don’t even know what Baby Assassins is and that is sad enough for them.

The Black Tavern (1972): Shaw Brothers obsessives and mere fans alike should seek out a copy of this strange and unpredictable tale of a series of bandits and guards that attempt to rob a treasure-stuffed stagecoach when the occupants stop for the night at the titular inn. Undoubtedly an influence on Tarantino’s The Hateful Eight and Kill Bill, this fight-packed delight is technically a sequel to The Lady Hermit but does little or nothing to call back the story of the original and mostly focuses on how many heroes and villains and battles can be packed into an 87-minute runtime. Can’t beat a movie where the MacGuffin is set-up purely by a singing homeless man looking for some spare grub.

Eric: Havoc (2025): We were excited for this based on the trailer during On Screen Live but man, this stinks. A total waste of a good cast. CGI blender mixed with the most soulless plot and action this side of anything. See someone? Better beat the shit out of them! See someone? Better beat the shit out of them! Rinse and repeat. 

Warfare (2025): Sorry, OSL chatters, but this just ain't it. As pointless as the war it depicts. Was that the point? I understand it's from the memory of the real-life guys, but could they have remembered some personalities too? This is pretty much just a sound collage of explosions and screams. Nothing worked for me here. Warfare sucks is the point, I get it, I get it, but did the movie have to too?

The People Under the Stairs (1991): This one scared me as a kid so I was hesitant to go back but I am sure glad I did. Really great social commentary here by Wes Craven. I still have to suspend disbelief a lot considering the size of this house, it's gotta be like 100,000 square feet! 

A Complete Unknown (2024): Little bit of catch up here, but I liked this more than I thought I would. I was apprehensive because I grew up in Woodstock, NY and if you don't know what that's like: Bob Dylan has a portrait on every wall like he's Joseph Stalin the 1950’s USSR. That said, a pleasant, totally fine movie. 

Intruder (1989):  Shocked it took me so long to get to this one. Not a lot here but a must for the fans of Bruce Campbell, Sam, and Ted Raimi. 

Steve: Sunshine (2007): Hey, it’s the last great Danny Boyle movie (no, I haven’t seen T2). A thoughtful, slow burn of a sci-fi thriller with highest of stakes, where everybody keeps making bad mistakes except Chris Evans for some reason. That dude understood the assignment, as they say. Really exciting filmmaking, fascinating lighting choices, oppressive score, CGI that actually works! I miss watching Danny Boyle movies that are actually cool (Yesterday was not that) and a movie written by Alex Garland that’s actually good (I’m looking at you, Men). I’m cautiously optimistic for their re-teaming this summer with 28 Years Later.

Out of the Furnace (2013): Man, did I really want to love this one. Terrific performances, good set-up and location aannnd the last act is a wet fart. I think in our episode on The Conversation, I go on a screed against mid-aughts minimalism and this is exactly what I was talking about. There’re certain directors that think not putting anything on the screen is more valuable than, ya know, something actually happening.

Mindhunters (2004): STAY TUNED! This is one of the most requested movies we get every Listener Request Month, but by sheer anomaly hasn’t been picked out of any hat yet. We were looking for something stupid to watch on a Saturday night, and boy, oh boy was this a homerun in that department. The absolute nadir of the late-90’s serial killer moment mixed with some Saw lighting and EXTREME kills for good measure, add a dumb-as-dirt twist and Johnny Lee Miller doing the absolute worst southern accent I’ve ever heard and I’m in bad movie heaven.

PATREON MAILBAG LIGHTNING ROUND

Here's a fun space where folks on Patreon get to ask us Questions directly. This month's entry comes from

Logan, from Washington who asks:

“If you could add one unlikely title to The Criterion Collection, what would you pick? And if you prefer a different boutique blu-ray company instead of CC, who would you pick?”

Andrew: This one’s easy: for me, it’s C.H.U.D. — but since Arrow has already put out a nice blu-ray of the first film, my challenge for Criterion (or Cinématographe, who also covers underappreciated American films) would be to put out a two-title set of both C.H.U.D. and C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D. — with WHM doing new commentary tracks for both, of course. 

Chris If we’re talking about modern-day stuff, I’d go with the collected works of Conner O’Malley and company, specifically Rap World, The Mask, The Coreys, Stand-Up Solutions, and the entirety of the Howard Schultz tapes. Not much else clearly echoes the feeling of living in a time when the internet is more central to social life than ever and yet has never been less joyful for people. That seems like a truth at the core of most modern comedy yet never expressed or communicated in a way that visualizes the overheating and corrosive effects of social media and most net-based transactions and interactions in 2025. O’Malley’s messy, untamed mix of footage would pose an ample challenge to any home-video restorer and would help underline the importance of non-feature-length releases on Criterion and elsewhere.

For older stuff, man, I am begging anyone to do an Allan Dwan collection of some sort. A lot of his stuff is on shitty DVDs but largely has not been brought up to blu-ray standards, let alone 4K. The original Brewster’s Millions, Rendezvous with Annie, Silver Lode, Slightly Scarlet, Tennessee’s Partner, Woman They Almost Lynched, Suez, Most Dangerous Man Alive, Restless Breed...come on, friends. Help a fan out if you can.

Eric: They actually just did it for one I'd have said: Eastern Condors! But to really turn some heads and upset the nerds - Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Hell, shove all of Kevin Costner onto Criterion. He's earned it. 

Steve: Good question! Here are my answers:

Joke Answer: Mindhunters?

Movies that I’m Shocked Aren’t In The Criterion Collection and Should Be: Michael Clayton, Zodiac, Tár, Manhunter, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, American Movie

Not a Snowball’s Chance in Hell, But Would Rule: The Thing, Chopping Mall, Donnie Darko, Evil Dead Box Set, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990), Batman Returns.

MAY SCHEDULE

]Say what? The schedule in advance?! It's the least we could do! By subscribing to this newsletter, you get a sneak peek at what we're putting this month

May 6th – Avengers: Age of Ultron 

May 13th – 8mm (Episode 800, holy shit!)

May 20th – Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith 

May 27th – Mission: Impossible III

Patreon Episodes:

May 1st -- We Love Movies: Mission: Impossible - Fallout

May 8th -- MELR0210: 90210: “The Child is the Father to the Man” (s3, e22) Melrose Place: “The Cook, The Creep, His Lover, and Her Sister” (s3, e7)

May 15th -- Animation Damnation: Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man: “Amazing Fantasy” (s1, e1)

May 22nd -- Gleep Glossary: Kueller

May 29th -- The Nexus: TOSTAS: “Once Upon a Planet” (s1, 9), TNG: “The Nth Degree (s4, e19)

PATREON RSS BUG

If you’re having trouble with the RSS feed updating or episodes not appearing in your app, Patreon has acknowledged this bug and they have a fix: "Try unsubscribing and re-subscribing via your app by re-entering the unique RSS feed you were given and is on our Overview section of the Creator page. Or try using a different podcast app or RSS feed reader." 

Please consult this page and contact Patreon Support if the problem persists. We apologize for any inconvenience you’ve experienced on Patreon and truly appreciate your continued support!

UPCOMING NEWS AND PROMOTION

On Screen Live took a couple weeks off but we’re coming back in a big way in May to talk about all things Thunderbolts* amongst other things! Check us out on Mondays at noon/et for all that and more! Subscribe on our YouTube Channel to never miss a broadcast!

We also have all officially sanctioned VHS Trailer Game episodes up to this point. Eric has also put out great clip packages like WTF Exorcism with Marc Merrin, Dr. Loomis is the Worst Doctor, Dilf Den, George Bailey as Michael Meyers, John Wick-Mentary,  Toby Jones in Bee Movie, Sausage Claus, David! Muppet Hitchcock Presents, and many more! You can also watch the entirety of our Witchboard episode! Complete with visual gags (most of which are almost funny.). You'll find all sorts of cool shit like Mailbags, VHS Trailer Games, Full Episodes like Rampage (2018), Any Which Way You Can, Bram Stoker’s Dracula and Saw III. Like we said above these are great for sharing and introducing folks to the show. There's so much content there we can't list it all here. Just go and subscribe already! 

TJ Hooker…Is back! Join Eric and Ben as TJ gets entangled in a romantic adventure with Miguel Ferrer (I hope they kiss)!  Listen here!

Please note that from now until at least the end of 2025, ALL PROFITS from our Tee Public store will be going directly to the Center for Reproductive rights! Shit’s bad out there and we know it’s likely to get worse and we want to do something,  SO, If you're a fan of the show and a fan of looking sharp, you should check out our merch on our TeePublic store! We have some hot off the presses designs by Felipe Sobreiro such as the Scream 4 Live Show, Too Old For This Shit and Sheenpril Logos as well as A Certain Fat Director enjoying his favorite film filter of all time! We also have "The DILF Den", and a "Crispy Critters" design from friend of the show, Nathan Hamill!  There’s a ton of other great designs like The VHS Trailer Game Logo, Demon-o's Pizza, Egg Lawyer, The Order of the Boop, The Kornkast design and many more, with more to come! 

That's going to do it for this month's Dispatch! Enjoy the start of our super-sized Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza!

Take it easy,
Andrew, Chris, Eric, and Steve
We Hate Movies