Big Daddy Dispatch: February 2025

 Dispatch Ninety-Three, February 1, 2025

Greetings WHM Family!

Wait…What??? That’s what you’ll be saying all month long as we shock you with movies that have plot twists that make you shake your head: welcome to Wait What-uary, the stupidest of all the theme months! You’ll find the full slate below, which, you gotta agree…is pretty awesome. Is this just an excuse to group together a bunch of movies we’ve been promising to do for a decade or more at this point? You bet your ass it is!

We had a blast in January reviewing movies good bad and other wise for our 2024 wrap-up, which included a kick-ass virtual live show on Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire! This show got a bit SPICY, but it’s only available through February 13th, so don’t wait and snag your replay tickets now!

We also want to thank you all for calling and writing in to this year’s Listener Request Month. It was EASILY the most calls and emails we’ve ever got. Tune into On-Screen Live this month to find out what gets picked!

Banner Credit: We Hate Movies Logo by Felipe Sobreiro

Image Credit: We Hate Movies:Ghostubsters: Frozen Empire

THIS SUMMER...WHM GOES ABROAD!

We’ve had international shows before, but never have we gone to another continent to perform, and that’s exactly what we’ll be doing in July when WHM goes to Oxford, UK for The Oxford Comedy Festival! We’ll be doing six shows in three nights, including some of our patented Patreon side shows live for the very first time! You do not want to miss:

July 18th – Early Show: Animation Damnation on TMNT’s “Elementary My Dear Turtle”

July 18th – Late Show: WHM on Quantum of Solace

July 19th – Early Show: Gleep Glossary on Darth Vader

July 19th – Late Show: WLM on Hellraiser

July 20th – Early Show: The Nexus on TNG’s “Sub Rosa”

July 20th – Late Show: WHM on King Ralph

Tix are going crazy fast so you want to make sure you get yours today and lock them in before they sell out! 

LAST MONTH ON WHM

Episode 777 – Madame Web

We’re back, baby! To kick off some of our January wrap-up, the fellas faced-off against one of their oldest foes, the MCU. Namely, S.J. Clarkson’s disastrous attempt to make Dakota Johnson a blockbuster anti-hero star as a Spider-Man character that isn’t Spider-Man, alongside Sydney Sweeney, Celeste O’Connor and Isabela Merced, none of whom are Spider-Man either. What was anyone in this movie thinking? Does this not lay bare the absurdity of planning movies and holding IP the way these studios do? How are you supposed to take anything with Adam Scott, Emma Roberts, and the Baby Name Game seriously? Wait, is that Tahar Rahim? The A Prophet guy?!

Episode 778 – Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (Patrons Only)

Finally, some good food! For this month’s We Love Movies episode, Andrew, Eric, Chris, and Steve headed back out to the wastelands to witness the pre-Fury Road life of the titular warrior, starting with her early days as the kidnapped would-be daughter of Chris Hemsworth’s Dementus. First off, is this the best Hemsworth has ever been? How did this bomb and why did it take so long to get out? Are we still going to get The Wasteland down the road? Also, George Miller rules!

Episode 779 – The Beekeeper

The boys headed out on the road with Jason Statham to avenge everyone’s problematic would-be mom, Phylicia Rashad, after online scammers drain her account and drive her to suicide. Can we get more information on this Beekeeper organization? Why doesn’t David Ayer just stick to making movies like this? (Update: It looks like he might be doing this!) Is this the best Jason Statham movie with him as the solo lead? Also, nothing but praise for Josh Hutchinson’s portrayal of Hunter Biden as a momma’s boy.

Episode 780 – Alien: Romulus

The gang got their futuristic guns together and headed up to the Renaissance Space Station to hijack a ride to paradise with some space kids and definitely not wake up any unstoppable killing machines with acid for blood in the process! Does forcing audiences to watch this version of Ash (now called Rook) make Fede Alvarez excited? Does it sink the film? Is there too much video-gameplay sequences? Where does this rank in the Alien franchise? Get away from Ian Holm, you bitch! 

Episode 781 – Bad Boys: Ride or Die

To round out this month of talking about some films from 2024, , Andrew, Chris, Steve, and Eric headed back out on the streets of Miami with Mike and Marcus, who are hunting down a team of killers who have framed their beloved Captain Howard for a series of major drug crimes. Isn’t it nice to have a villain with a ridiculous lair again? Who had the idea to give Pantoliano Scream 2-style posthumous exposition scenes? Does Martin Lawrence own this movie? Smart move to just turn these into insane action spectacles, complete with military-grade killer son-in-laws.

WHAT ARE WE WATCHING?

Andrew:   I’ve been making a real dent in my massive pile of unwatched blu-ray and 4K discs, so between that ongoing project, plus some theatrical stuff, it’s a real grab bag this month: 

 The Guest (2014): My first time re-watching this one and my goodness, what a picture. Top tier everything. Dan Stevens is on fire throughout the whole thing. Sequel when? 

 Nightmare Beach (1989): A previous episode, I picked up this cult fave (of mine) on the Kino Lorber 4K release. God bless those people for putting out stuff like this in such great quality. A film that was lost to me for so many years (see our episode for that story), I knew I wanted it close to me for good, so it’s in the collection now. John Saxon is such a scumbag in this one, I love it. 

 Den of Thieves (2018) / Den of Thieves 2: Pantera (2024): Yeah, when part two came out, I finally bit the bullet and watched the first one and boy, am I glad I did! Kind of kicking myself for waiting so long. As soon as I saw the first one, I raced out to the theater to catch part two and that movie is maybe even kinda better? They're two movies about dirtbags on both sides of the law who are good at their respective jobs, and also really good at being shitty while doing their jobs so well. If part one was dubbed Scumbag Heat, then part two is like Scumbag Miami Vice with a healthy dose of Scumbag Rififi or Scumbag Le Cercle Rouge. These are two really good movies I liked a lot and I’m thrilled a third has been greenlit!

 Nightmare Alley (2021): One of GDT’s most underrated and under-appreciated films. It’s such a beautiful, sick, twisted, sprawling story. Definitely his most gorgeously shot film. I really love it. I used this 4K release to break in my new 4K deck and it was a fantastic viewing experience.

 Se7en (1995): The last time I’d seen this before checking out the 4K disc was probably some time when George W. Bush was in office. It’s a movie I’ve seen no fewer than 25 times, but it had been possibly 20 years since I’d sat down and watched it front to back. What a magnificently twisted, brilliant, sick movie. Everyone in it is great. It’s one of my favorite Morgan Freeman performances. 

 Funny Ha Ha (2002): Bujalski’s first is not his best, but boy, this holds a special place in my mind. It so perfectly encapsulates such a wildly specific moment, something he’d go on to do once again in his superior Mutual Appreciation a few years later. I connect to these films because I wasn’t too far behind Bujalski and his characters, so there’s a relatability I have with these films. Really glad his work is finding these nice blu-ray releases.

 Ratcatcher (1999): About as beautiful and grim as it gets! Lynne Ramsay’s feature debut is such a gut punch, but a beautiful, artful, dreamlike gut punch. She’s a magnificent artist. Pick up the Criterion release if you like her stuff.      

 Chris:  Den of Thieves 2: Pantera: I’m not sure if this works outside of America. Sure, it’s nice to see Miami Vice (for Morons) after seeing Heat (for Morons), and returning director Christian Gudegest sure does make the vistas of Antwerp and Nice, the latter being where Big Nick and Donnie have their unlikely reunion and execute a perilous diamond heist, look pur-dy. My argument is that, as a subject, Big Nick doesn’t really come alive in frames that wouldn’t be out of place in a dream-vacation Pinterest page. To be fair, there are three action sequences in this film that Gudegest executes with stylish efficiency and startling physicality, and he would likely count among the most promising American action directors currently working. But there’s something about Nick being about of America that strikes me as off. This is a man who needs to be able to get a roller dog, fifty or sixty varieties of oversalted chips, and enormous cans of liquid heart attack. Despite putting on the leash as compared to the first film, Gerard Butler remains astonishing in the role of Big Nick and he makes the film worth seeking out with his performance alone. Jackson and the supporting cast are quite good too, but Butler’s work in these films reminds you of what the man is capable of, and who rarely is given the canvas to explore these sorts of troubled, bestial men of violence.

 Blitz (2011): Took a look at this minor Statham vehicle after revisiting The Beekeeper for the show and well, it’s kind of nothing. Little Finger from Game of Thrones plays a fame-obsessed serial killer in jolly old London town, and Statham and the reliable Paddy Considine play the beleaguered cops tasked with bringing him in. There is, to my knowledge, no vehicle that has been able to successfully coax out and effectively utilize both Statham’s physical presence and his natural charms as a performer. Snatch is as close as we’ve ever got with that one and though I respect the effort here, it doesn’t amount to much on the screen. Nothing sadder than a damn serial killer movie that isn’t even fun to watch.

 REFORM!: The latest from the brilliant Jon Bois is a relatively breezy yet thrillingly dense look at the Reform Party, one of the most remarkable third-party attempts in U.S. history, started by Philly-born mad-as-hell everyman Jack Gargan. A kind of mutation of libertarianism, the Reformists were first repped by dyed-in-the-wool maniac Ross Perot, before coming under the sway of everyone from Donald Trump and Jesse Ventura, to Pat Buchanan and Ralph Nader. As he did with the Seattle Mariners and the Minnesota Vikings before, Bois uses his unique graph-and-table aesthetic and obsessively researched storytelling to make off-putting assholes, idiotic heroes with no power, and well-meaning monsters seem as fascinating and undeniably human as a gaggle of Errol Morris subjects. All three parts are on YouTube. Can’t recommend it enough.

 Eric:   Saturday Night (2024): Some decent celebrity impressions from members of this cast but there's nothing for it to stick to. We're shown SNL as "one crazy night" and we're meant to be stressed out over a TV show we know will happen. They repeatedly talk about, and show, dress rehearsals, so not sure this thing had the nail-biting engine they thought it did. Lorne Michaels being presented as a singular visionary is pretty funny though. The year is 1975 and, monocle drop, they're letting 20-somethings run a TV show! The movie constantly positions SNL as "the future" but you might have noticed, this was the last time they ever let 20-somethings run the show. Lorne has become just another Milton Berle or Johnny Carson that this movie is trying to critique.

 The Apprentice (2024): Stan does a fine enough job but there seems to be no teeth in this portrayal besides liposuction and a hair surgery. Jeremy Strong is of course good here. Kinda feels like there's nothing else to this movie. Should've just made it the Cohn picture. Wild to see Martin Donovan play Fred Trump, though! 

 Headhunter (1988): Sounds good on paper. Evil Dead meets a buddy cop-type thing. It ultimately falls flat. Some cool shots but you'll end up bored to tears following around these cops in Miami. At least there's a decapitation. 

 Observe and Report (2009): Revisited this and had a good time. Holds up as The People Who Never Left Your Hometown: The Movie. Forgot Jesse Plemmons was in this and what a skinny little boy! Plus a good late-era Ray Liotta freak-out performance.

 Lady Reporter (1989): Pretty great Cynthia Rothrock movie that flew under my radar. Bonus points for her fighting Jeffrey Falcon at the end who you might recognize as the titular Six-String Samurai (1998). 

 Scissors (1991): Pretty brutal sexual assault occurs to Sharon Stone and she grapples with it. Steve Railsback in TWO roles as twins. And yes, you do get to see Steve Railsback fight Steve Railsback. Bonus points for Ronny Cox having some quite filthy dialogue. Ultimately skippable though. 

 The Wild Pair (1987): Here's the good stuff. Watch this! Beau Bridges directs and co-stars in this buddy cop comedy alongside Bubba Smith from Police Academy. Great fights, shoot outs, and stunts! Lloyd Bridges plays a Neo-Nazi type militia leader and all his talking points are pretty much identical to modern day MAGA which is funny enough on its own. Bonus for all of Lloyd Bridges' lines sounding exactly like President Tug Benson from the Hot Shots! franchise. 

 Steve: Kinda feel like I’ve always and only been watching stuff for the show, but looking back at my Letterboxd tells me that I have, indeed, had a life outside you fine folks this month. Let’s take a look, shall we?

 A Real Pain: I really enjoyed this, and I do think there should be more movies like this. Eisenberg and Culkin are really good together …but, it’s just missing a little something to elevate it to a great movie. There’s a cinematic flourish or two missing in either camerawork, scripting, or the score. It just needs something that makes this linger more than it ultimately did. This kinda feels like a New Yorker short story that you read, like, but then can’t remember the author or title in three weeks’ time.

 Wag the Dog: Woof (pun intended!) We’re trying not to bring it up every episode, but trust us, we are just as dismayed and terrified at the unraveling of America this past month as you fine folks are. So, it was in that state that my wife and I turned on Barry Levinson’s quippy political farce, and boy does it fucking suck in retrospect. Hoffman is having a lot of fun here, but nobody else is. There’s something kind of sickening to watch here in the year of our Lord 2025. Something about the shoulder-shrugginess of both parties being equally bad, everybody uses the media, and that there’s a strong force in the shadows that’s guiding this country in any particular direction. If the past twelve years have taught me anything it’s that there are no guard rails, the government isn’t smart enough to have a super-secret society controlling everything and chaos fucking reigns.

 Justice Ninja Style: I went wild at Vinegar Syndrome’s Black Friday sale and I just got my care package of movies I don’t remember ordering. Fun! This one was a total laugh riot, a zero-budget independent ninja thriller? In the vein of Walking Tall, wherein a ninja—just passing through town—witnesses the cops setting up a karate instructor for murder and has to right the wrong. This sounds MUCH better than I’m making it out to be, as there’s like one and a half action scenes, all scenes were filmed during the day, and the Missouri accents are insane. It’s a must-watch for bad movie freaks, but if you’re looking for any substance, look elsewhere.

PATREON MAILBAG LIGHTNING ROUND

Here's a fun space where folks on Patreon get to ask us questions directly. This month's entry comes from:

Charlie, from Jackson Heights who asks: “What horror movie was unjustly overlooked for Oscars in the past, either for director, acting, or screenplay?”

Andrew:  You know, one horror (horror/drama) that got Oscar attention for sure was M. Night Shyamalan’s The Sixth Sense. But while the film got nominated for Best Picture, Best Supporting Actor and Supporting Actress, Best Screenplay, Best Director and Best Editing, I always thought it was shitty that Bruce Willis wasn’t nominated for his performance in the movie, one that I always thought was one of Bruce’s best. 

 I also think it’s total crap that Francis Ford Coppola and Gary Oldman weren’t nominated for Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I rewatch that movie these days and it is without question, to me at least, one of Coppola’s greatest achievements and one of Gary’s best performances. 

 Chris: It’s insane to me that John Carpenter never got an Oscar nomination for directing, considering that his style and approach to genre in general has been a driving force for many of the big hits of the last decade or two. Every critic hated The Thing, but there are plenty of movies that critics don’t like that get major nominations. I would have also accepted nominations for Prince of Darkness or Halloween. Is there an Oscar nomination for the Best Fucking Movie Ever? If so, both Possession and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre should have won it outright. If we’re talking about a horror movie that should have swept the awards the year it came out, the obvious answer is Cronenberg’s The Fly. Goldblum and Davis should have had those awards handed to them.

 Eric: The big one is The Shining (1980) which infamously got Razzie nominations. The Oscars should give John Carpenter a lifetime achievement award since I don't think anything he's ever touched got nominated. It was nice when they recognized Roger Corman a few years ago. The Academy is way too stingy with genre fare.

Steve: I always wanted better for Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later, Best Picture, Best Screenplay, and maybe even a Best Actor nomination for baby-Oppie, Cillian Murphy. Also, I strongly believe Hereditary should’ve got something, if only a nomination for Toni Collette’s impeccable performance.                 

FEBRUARY SCHEDULE (WAIT WHAT?)

Say what? The schedule in advance?! It's the least we could do! By subscribing to this newsletter, you get a sneak peek at what we're putting out for Wait Whatuary! 

Februay 4th – Identity (2003)  

February 11th – Vanilla Sky

February 18th – Primal Fear

February 25th – Signs

Patreon Episodes:

February 6th -- We Love Movies: Donnie Darko (Theatrical Cut)

February 7th -- Once-In A Lifetime: TalhotBlond (2012)

February 13th -- MELR0210: 90210: “Back in the High Life Again (s3, e19) Melrose Place: “Grand Delusions” (s3, e4)

February 20th -- Animation Damnation: Hey Arnold “Arnold’s Valentine” (s1, e20)

February 21st -- Gleep Glossary: Lobot and thoughts on The Skeleton Crew

February 27th -- The Nexus: TOSTAS: “The Infinite Vulcan” (s1, 7), TNG: “Night Terrors (s4, e17)

PATREON RSS BUG

If you’re having trouble with the RSS feed updating or episodes not appearing in your app, Patreon has acknowledged this bug and they have a fix: "Try unsubscribing and re-subscribing via your app by re-entering the unique RSS feed you were given and is on our Overview section of the Creator page. Or try using a different podcast app or RSS feed reader." 

Please consult this page and contact Patreon Support if the problem persists. We apologize for any inconvenience you’ve experienced on Patreon and truly appreciate your continued support!

UPCOMING NEWS AND PROMOTION

 On Screen Live is back! That’s right, we’re resuming our (mostly) weekly box-office recap show, where you can hear reviews of recent flicks, watch live trailer reactions, and just see us do our thing week in, and week out! Check us out on Mondays at noon/et for all that and more! Subscribe on our YouTube Channel to never miss a broadcast!

We also have all officially sanctioned VHS Trailer Game episodes up to this point. Eric has also put out great clip packages like WTF Exorcism with Marc Merrin, Dr. Loomis is the Worst Doctor, Dilf Den, George Bailey as Michael Meyers, John Wick-Mentary,  Toby Jones in Bee Movie, Sausage Claus, David! Muppet Hitchcock Presents, and many more! You can also watch the entirety of our Witchboard episode! Complete with visual gags (most of which are almost funny.). You'll find all sorts of cool shit like Mailbags, VHS Trailer Games, Full Episodes like Rampage (2018), Any Which Way You Can, Bram Stoker’s Dracula and Saw III. Like we said above these are great for sharing and introducing folks to the show. There's so much content there we can't list it all here. Just go and subscribe already! 

TJ Hooker…Is back! And this time Eric and Ben follow T.J. as his reputation is smeared by those bums in Internal Affairs!  Listen here! 

 Please note that from now until at least the end of 2025, ALL PROFITS from our Tee Public store will be going directly to the Center for Reproductive rights! Shit’s bad out there and we know it’s likely to get worse and we want to do something,  SO, If you're a fan of the show and a fan of looking sharp, you should check out our merch on our TeePublic store! We have some hot off the presses designs by Felipe Sobreiro such as the Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire Live Show, Too Old For This Shit and Sheenpril Logos as well as A Certain Fat Director enjoying his favorite film filter of all time! We also have "The DILF Den", and a "Crispy Critters" design from friend of the show, Nathan Hamill!  There’s a ton of other great designs like The VHS Trailer Game Logo, Demon-o's Pizza, Egg Lawyer, The Order of the Boop, The Kornkast design and many more, with more to come!

That's going to do it for this month's Dispatch! See you next month for Listener Request Month!

Take it easy,
Andrew, Chris, Eric, and Steve
We Hate Movies