Episode #777: Madame Web
Added 2025-01-07 05:00:03 +0000 UTC“Her character…it’s like she’s an alien!” - Eric, on Cassie Webb
On the first episode of 2025, we’re kicking off a month of talking about movies we saw last year— good, bad and otherwise— and it all starts with, you guessed it, Madame Web! Why is every single performance in this film so stiff? How are so many previous draft ideas still stuck in the final product? Why can’t these girls get their powers in this movie so something can actually happen? And in this movie, seriously asking here, is Cassie Webb supposed to be an actual space alien? PLUS: A baby shower is never just a BBQ, folks!
Madame Web stars Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, Celeste O’Connor, Tahar Rahim, Emma Roberts, Adam Scott, Kerry Bishé, and Mike Epps as O’Neil; directed by S.J. Clarkson.
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Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.
Comments
The craziest thing is, according to rumors, they were totally allowed to use Spider-Man names and characters! They could have freakin said Aunt May and Peter Parker and all that stuff from what I've heard of it they just..... chose not to.
tbwriting
2025-01-12 21:51:05 +0000 UTCThanks for making me laugh as my city burns down around me! Can’t wait for The Beekeeper if I’m not on fire by then
Bolo Santosi
2025-01-10 19:55:17 +0000 UTCThey seemed content to make trash, as long as it made them money, but now that they are flopping the 'joyride' is coming to an end.
Brendan 'Timbzy' Timbs
2025-01-10 13:10:43 +0000 UTCBut how else are we meant to tell it's set in the past? 😅
Brendan 'Timbzy' Timbs
2025-01-10 13:05:44 +0000 UTCNew Mutants at least had some entertaining scenes.
Brendan 'Timbzy' Timbs
2025-01-10 13:04:55 +0000 UTCI'm with you. I never made that connection at all.
Brendan 'Timbzy' Timbs
2025-01-10 13:03:25 +0000 UTCIt's definitely one of those 'just listen to the pod and you'll get all you need to follow along without worrying about wasting your time watching the movie' episodes.
Brendan 'Timbzy' Timbs
2025-01-10 12:58:25 +0000 UTCSurprised there was no mention of the dog shit saying "When you take on the responsibility, great power will come."
Matthew Lloyd
2025-01-10 11:23:22 +0000 UTCThank you. I was weighing up whether to watch this for the pod and this was all the convincing I needed.
Paul Deehan
2025-01-09 13:28:01 +0000 UTCThis movie was bad beyond the “so bad it’s good” level and was just a bad time from start to finish.
chris pike
2025-01-09 00:14:00 +0000 UTCYou boys mirrored my thoughts about that “we’re family” hospital scene at the end as my mind also went to the Lethal Weapon 4 ending haha
Exambolor
2025-01-08 20:22:49 +0000 UTCWell look on the bright side. It can only go up from here for this month! Next two films on the docket I had a good time with even if they both had problems.
Voror
2025-01-08 20:07:44 +0000 UTCFair enough. I had the same thought about the apartment. Sure 2003 NYC rent was easier to make but no way you’re living alone there on $15/hr.
Frank Grimes
2025-01-08 20:01:12 +0000 UTCBut wait. Wasn't that just her tripping balls? I didn't think that was actual Ghost Mom getting closure from the other side. But who the hell knows with this film.
John Locke
2025-01-08 19:39:48 +0000 UTCIf I didn't listen to the pod before watching I would have had no idea that this was actually a Spiderman origin story.
John Locke
2025-01-08 19:35:13 +0000 UTCI don't know. Did you see that freaking apartment she's living in on an EMT salary?
John Locke
2025-01-08 19:32:55 +0000 UTCI'm pretty sure that the Pepsi sign in Queens isn't a fireworks factory. I don't want to live in this movie's NYC.
Frank Grimes
2025-01-08 17:03:42 +0000 UTCSo does Pepsi
Catboyslim
2025-01-08 15:41:28 +0000 UTCFlemish not Dutch
Catboyslim
2025-01-08 15:40:23 +0000 UTCWas Cabin busy, or did he straight up refuse this assignment?
Brandon
2025-01-08 15:25:24 +0000 UTC30 minutes into the movie and I regret this derision. This is not watchable. This actress is horrible. No wonder I've never heard of her before
John Locke
2025-01-08 13:29:19 +0000 UTCSomeone want to tell Brian May he can’t be in the arts because he’s a scientist?
Mike Blair
2025-01-08 09:04:42 +0000 UTCMost people I know really loved it, and I haven’t seen anything negative about ATJ’s performance, so I wonder if there’s just an extremely vocal online contingent going after it? It’s my fourth favorite Eggers movie but I still dug a lot of it
Chris Rose
2025-01-08 04:59:40 +0000 UTCInstant classic episode. The boys were really cooking with this one
Chris Rose
2025-01-08 04:55:37 +0000 UTCAlso, I hope my little attempt at a joke didn't read as a jab at your professionalism. It wasn't meant that way at all.
Jason
2025-01-08 02:20:03 +0000 UTCChrist almighty I was outside shoveling snow when the first Ducktalesesque Tom Holland impression appeared! “The Constance Webb Sketch exhibit!” But yeah I fell on my ass, totally worth it.
Jonnie Sea
2025-01-08 01:54:37 +0000 UTCOmg I'm watching this movie and the part where this white woman who doesn't speak a word of Spanish trivially jumps on a plane to go to the jungles of Peru, genuine lols filmmakers. "I'm an American! Take me to the LASS ARANNYAS!" "Wait in this motel teens, I'll be back from venturing overland into the jungle in 29 days"
Smaug
2025-01-08 01:43:55 +0000 UTCI saw this in theaters and my favorite part was her driving around in that stolen cab having so many massive car accidents! Not only is she unharmed but the cops never find this thing! It reminds me of Halle Berry in Kidnap! Also I've never been a big Dakota Johnson fan. But watching that snarky press tour on Tiktok definitely got my ass to the theater! 😂🤣🤣
Brittany Mitchell
2025-01-07 23:11:47 +0000 UTCThe Jim Henson voice makes me think of a movie riff Trax covered. With a old man that sounded like rowlf.
Nick Rothe
2025-01-07 23:11:00 +0000 UTCNow granted, I was sorta high when I watched this, but I had no idea Adam Scott was supposed to be Uncle Ben until I started listening to this pod. That's the problem with attempting to make this thing when you're not allowed to say the words SPIDER MAN
johnny stocker
2025-01-07 22:28:58 +0000 UTCA whole IMAX to yourself?? What an amazing gift.
Busiris
2025-01-07 21:16:16 +0000 UTCAs soon as you guys said “delicious rotisserie chicken,” it reminded me of the sole funny joke from the Deuce Bigelow sequel (arguably one of the three funny jokes in BOTH films). https://youtu.be/-kHMOXNsE2k?si=924eidfHluTjI0Mk *Belgians do speak Dutch, I’m not conflating the two thinking Belgium is in the Netherlands with Amsterdam.
Michael Mora
2025-01-07 21:09:58 +0000 UTCThis gave me big New Mutants vibes but with a bigger budget. A *barely* movie that is fighting just to exist yet also screaming for someone to put a bullet in it's head.
Kyle Godown
2025-01-07 20:51:32 +0000 UTC#777
Will See
2025-01-07 19:51:59 +0000 UTCAnother thing left over from the original vision was then ripping off of captain marvel with a shot of a blockbuster video
Luke Gordnier
2025-01-07 19:07:06 +0000 UTCI only saw this movie in the cinema as a way of killing time before I went to see Taylor Swift. And it was so bad it almost made me wish I missed out on tickets to see Taylor Swift.
Scmods
2025-01-07 18:39:25 +0000 UTCI never thought y'all would create an American version of the Gal Gadot impression but kudos. Worth snorting in this Target
Tala Hobballah
2025-01-07 18:11:04 +0000 UTCHalf way through this episode and you guys are actually making me want to watch this train wreck. I want to see the alien holding a Pepsi can.
John Locke
2025-01-07 17:43:41 +0000 UTCI asked mostly because I didn't see it at all and never plan to. Sometimes a movie comes along that's only value (to me, anyways) is that it makes a great WHM episode. Thank you for doing the Lord's work so people like me don't have to.
Darcy
2025-01-07 17:04:45 +0000 UTCIn A Perfect World, Kevin Costner kidnaps a kid.
Mark Ibarra
2025-01-07 16:54:41 +0000 UTCWe got a multiverse at our disposal here, there is still time to get Mirren as a Webb variant for Secret Wars.
CharlesGrodin'sToupee
2025-01-07 16:32:18 +0000 UTCOh god, Helen Mirren as Madame Web would be perfect! - Andrew
We Hate Movies
2025-01-07 16:20:34 +0000 UTCThis has been invaluable, Nicholas. Thank you for your service in working on this one. The Jill Hennessy thing is going to haunt me forever. Absolutely bizarre and disrespectful of a Law & Order alum! Thanks for all the tidbits. - Andrew
We Hate Movies
2025-01-07 16:19:54 +0000 UTCWe say it in like, the first three minutes, but yeah, all three of us saw it in theaters and then watched again for the show. And yes, Chris also saw it in theaters, but couldn't make the recording. - Andrew
We Hate Movies
2025-01-07 16:17:02 +0000 UTCIf they pulled that? Greatest Marvel movie of all time. - Andrew
We Hate Movies
2025-01-07 16:16:12 +0000 UTCFor the record, I def didn't dislike it. I had a bad theater experience which I know distorted my view of the film overall. One of those annoying, "I recognize that in any other situation, I would be enjoying myself more." When it's released on 4K with that director's cut, I'll be diving back in—you might even say, I'm chomping at the bit to watch it again! - Andrew
We Hate Movies
2025-01-07 16:15:05 +0000 UTCWe do have plans for these long-archived shows. We tried to figure it out last year but got swept up in other projects and ideas. Hoping to get it figured out in 2025, so stay tuned! - Andrew
We Hate Movies
2025-01-07 16:13:02 +0000 UTCLegit lol over here with the Paddington joke. - Andrew
We Hate Movies
2025-01-07 16:11:32 +0000 UTCI go to all movies, man. Good, bad or otherwise. You never know until you see it and frankly, yeah, it's what I do for a living— I watch movies! But also, you gotta keep up on the exhibition tech gimmicks and yeah, ScreenX is a hard pass for me, and should be for all citizens of the world. - Andrew
We Hate Movies
2025-01-07 16:09:35 +0000 UTCSteve’s trick r treat scenario of a kid dressing up as O’Neal for Halloween made me actually spit take. Great work, boys.
Justin Genova
2025-01-07 15:58:53 +0000 UTCIf she is happily in Fast X, you can't tell me Helen Mirren wouldn't like being in this.
Matt
2025-01-07 15:43:16 +0000 UTCIn a perfect world, Madame Web would be played by Meryl Streep or Helen Mirren, and it would rule.
Eren Keskin
2025-01-07 15:41:01 +0000 UTCI’m with Steve on this one. It’s a wild mess that’s just barely in the shape of a movie and I love how weird it is. The ADR, the flat acting, the jumbled plot, it all adds up to fun bad for me.
Bradley Davis
2025-01-07 15:25:39 +0000 UTCI loved it too! I will probably see it at least a handful more times this year, once the disc comes out.
Bradley Davis
2025-01-07 15:23:06 +0000 UTCHowever ,Grant would not play his Padding 2 character of Phoenix Buchanan, but rather his Oompa Loompa from Wonka for maximum crossover appeal.
CharlesGrodin'sToupee
2025-01-07 15:06:52 +0000 UTCAndrew went to a movie he knew was epically bad in theatre experience where he couldn’t escape the viewing experience. That is either major dedication to the podcast or real “choke me harder baby” energy. Pretty sure I don’t need to know which one it is.
Jason
2025-01-07 15:01:27 +0000 UTCWhen are they gonna get to the fireworks factory!?
Adrian Joseph
2025-01-07 14:47:43 +0000 UTCThis would be compelling and cinematic, especially if Hugh Grant comes back
Tim O'Connor
2025-01-07 14:43:54 +0000 UTCI saw the first Doctor Strange in 3D IMAX alone in an empty theater. That was something.
Mark Ibarra
2025-01-07 13:51:06 +0000 UTCThe rumor I heard was that he was bitten by a radioactive Leonard Maltin.
Mark Ibarra
2025-01-07 13:48:18 +0000 UTCStill haven't, still happy, still gonna listen. I'm certain to feverishly ponder the intricate subtleties that you gentlemen shall delicately describe, but no thank you, Madame.
Mark Ibarra
2025-01-07 13:45:34 +0000 UTCI just don't get what Sony was thinking. Okay, maybe they can't use Tom Holland, fine. But you can't throw some skinny dude in a Spider-Man costume and just pump out a couple of movies? Like what was the logic here? No one asked for Kraven, Madame Web, or Morbius. And even if people did, they still would want to see Spider-Man show up at some point.
Michael Daniels
2025-01-07 13:43:40 +0000 UTCI loved it! Top 3 Eggers for me. I saw it about a week ago and it has really lingered in my head.
Allison
2025-01-07 13:37:25 +0000 UTCPaddington in Peru: "My mum was researching marmalade in the Amazon right before she died."
CharlesGrodin'sToupee
2025-01-07 13:34:49 +0000 UTCHoTD is out here catching strays. It’s the superior Westeros show by far!
Jacobi Smith
2025-01-07 12:58:42 +0000 UTCIs there any plans to release any of the moment live shows on patreon? Missed past ones so just curious if they will ever appear again? Also can you download the moment shows you buy to keep them? The moment page doesn't say one way or the other?
Kureigu
2025-01-07 12:34:29 +0000 UTCChris Cabin mysteriously disappeared while studying spiders in the Amazon?!
Tim O'Connor
2025-01-07 11:34:20 +0000 UTCI really liked it! I could watch a dozen movies of Ralph Ineson and Willem Dafoe running around in trench coats and big hats.
Tim O'Connor
2025-01-07 11:31:10 +0000 UTCFeels like I’m the only one that really dug Nosferatu. Greatest “scary haunted castle” ever done on film. I’ll be playing the eventual blu-ray in the background when going about my day to just soak in that atmosphere. I have it as my #2 Eggers film but seems like it’s getting a bit of backlash that I don’t understand
RJ Cunningham
2025-01-07 10:47:49 +0000 UTCIf you want a full dissection on what happened with the dialog and story, check out Nando v Movies on YouTube.
Jeremy
2025-01-07 09:29:44 +0000 UTCHey guys just wanna let you know Cinema sins can be really annoying but also very helpful and helping you not have to fully rewatch Madame Web to enjoy this podcast even Fuller lol
Tyler the Destroyer
2025-01-07 08:30:47 +0000 UTCOne final tidbit: there original ending had Ben walking into his apartment while leaving a voicemail for Peter after what was clearly a fight. The apartment was broken into, he's about to be killed by a burglar. Sydney Sweeny drops from the ceiling and saves his life! Alternate reality! Of course that got nuked when they wiped Peter from the film, so the rewritten scene with the girls in the penthouse was shot and used instead. A few isolated shots of Sweeney shocking the burglar do survive in that final little "future" montage, though.
Nicholas Kmet
2025-01-07 08:28:24 +0000 UTCI feel like “Dakota Johnson acting voice” is going to reappear in unrelated future episodes, like Tom Holland and Christopher Lambert. Too enjoyable to only hear once!
Craig
2025-01-07 08:27:32 +0000 UTCFor the water birth they should of pulled an Enter the Void and had the camera just enter her and follow the baby back out. This movie had no bite
Darryl Bowen
2025-01-07 07:58:33 +0000 UTCProbably Chris Cabin chose wisely instead & ended his misery why he’s not around for the eps
Jan
2025-01-07 07:43:04 +0000 UTCI'm ashamed to admit but in the scene where she hugs her ghost mom and the ghost mom realizes her daughter lived, my heart melted just a bit ( I think the actress just really sells the experssion well), and I could feel my body taking the first step toward starting to tear up and I immediately shut that shit down, because there was no way in hell I was gonna cry during Madam Web.
Taco6N 13
2025-01-07 07:36:54 +0000 UTCSo I just fired this up, and maybe this will be answered. But I gotta know: did you guys watch this thing twice for the show?
Darcy
2025-01-07 07:34:28 +0000 UTCRe: Jill Hennessy: there was nothing left on the cutting room floor for her as far as I know. Almost all of Ezekiel's dialogue in the following scene with Zosia Mamet was rewritten there using ADR; it is so painfully obvious. She had more scenes as well that were cut, including one towards the end where she abandons Ezekiel as he goes to kill the girls. Mike Epps: no extra scenes! That's all I ever saw of him.
Nicholas Kmet
2025-01-07 07:27:04 +0000 UTCLove hearing all these details straight from the source, thank you for your service, kind sir!
Busiris
2025-01-07 06:48:40 +0000 UTCMight as well do it next time. For 90+ minutes, that space is 100% all yours!!! It's your kingdom.
Busiris
2025-01-07 06:46:48 +0000 UTCHonestly I could just listen to you guys do the Tom Holland impression for two hours.....it's gold! :)
Geoff Gershon
2025-01-07 06:29:43 +0000 UTCLol...I saw Sonic 3 in an empty theater. Never thought about moving seats throughout the movie. May do that next time I have the opportunity. Lol
Darryl Bowen
2025-01-07 06:24:11 +0000 UTCBig episode 777! The lucky episode. Totally agree with Steve, this is a fascinating disaster so I could not outright hate it. It mystifies me. I still think Morbius is the worst of them because it left my mind the moment I left the theater and I have no interest in revisiting it. Also, loved the empty theater talk. Sitting in an empty theater is such a rare treasure. Only just a couple of weeks ago, my partner and I had the privilege of sitting in an otherwise totally empty screening of that Lord of the Rings anime movie and I only regret not thinking about switching seats every 20 minutes just for the hell of it.
Busiris
2025-01-07 06:18:32 +0000 UTCA couple of things I can clear up: the film was always set in 2003; the use of Toxic in the diner was written into the script. I don't really know where that 90s/Garfield rumor came from but it's very wrong. Reshoots were done the week before Christmas. We worked extensive overtime through Christmas and New Years to get the film mixed in time for the premiere. They needed probably 3 weeks of reshoots, but Sony would not budge on the release date. So they reshot the opening sequence almost entirely and then a few small things throughout the rest of the movie. Much of Ezekiel's dialogue was rewritten through ADR, because that's all there was time to do. It is awful as a result. The decision to remove Peter Parker's name from the film came pretty late, maybe a month or two before we finished? I was never given an official reason why, but we all assumed they fucked up with the licensing agreement and didn't realize they couldn't directly reference him until very late in post. I'll add more as it comes up while I'm listening.
Nicholas Kmet
2025-01-07 06:01:28 +0000 UTCI had the great (mis)fortune of working on this movie for almost 9 months of post-production. It was literal hell. I have so many stories. As much as the experience of working on it sucked, it is hard to complain too much because it kept me employed through both strikes when a lot of my friends were out of work. I have a strong love/hate relationship with this movie as a result. At least it finally has given me a dream come true: to have a movie I worked on covered on this podcast.
Nicholas Kmet
2025-01-07 05:14:42 +0000 UTCChris Cabin really said, “I don’t even want to talk about this POS movie.”
Paul
2025-01-07 05:05:34 +0000 UTC
