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Episode #729: Rollerball (2002)

“He’s one of the worst to ever do it, folks…” - Steve on Chris Klein

On this week’s episode, we’re chatting about the terrible, hatchet job remake, Rollerball! Why do studios put so much trust in dumbass test screenings? Why did McTiernan think getting all the social commentary out of this remake was a smart idea? Why were they banking so hard on the charm of… ECW’s Paul Heyman? How many re-shoots does it take to sink a movie? And does this movie have one of the worst soundtracks of all time? PLUS: Orson Welles weighs in on the use of… NIGHT. VISION.

Rollerball stars Chris Klein, Jean Reno, LL Cool J, Rebecca Romijn, Naveen Andrews, Oleg Taktarov, Andrew Bryniarski, and Paul Heyman as English Sports Announcer; directed by John McTiernan.

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Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

Episode #729: Rollerball (2002)

Comments

That extended night vision bit had my own vision blurring from tears of laughter

Chris

The original is one of the better 70’s sci-fi movies, still remember most of it as a small child while it was replayed as a Sunday night movie

Catboyslim

Best part of this: great shade thrown at Poor Things, a movie I genuinely despise. Killer stuff guys, you always deliver! :)

Geoff Gershon

“I’d rather vote for Slip Knot 10/10 times over KKKim” has RAYGUN potential

Sass

“Suck me beautiful” -Chris "Oz" Ostreicher

Graham Trainor

lol, thankful I never made it that far in the series. - Andrew

We Hate Movies

I remember that Chris Klein played a villian for an arc on The Flash. Terrible job..tried to do a menacing voice while having to wear a breathing mask (part of the character)

Swan Benson

I'd buy a T-shirt with a picture of Orson Welles wearing night vision goggles

Tim O'

Their MK episode is my #1 comfort listen, agreed

Matthew Kennedy

I could listen to the boys do an entire episode in Christopher Lambert's Raiden voice. It's my happy place. eh heh heh heh heh.

Anna Bee

Orsen Welles presents Night Vision is easily an all-time great WHM riff. Felipe should definitely do a graphic!

TDB

I watched the night vision for the first time 12 minutes ago and it gave me an anxiety attack. I really can’t imagine being in the room when people said, “Yes! Let’s do this!.”

Chris Knutson

I liked it! It's a fun food truck/road trip movie. With a bunch of fun actors.

Paul DeCoursey-Clark

2000 to 2003 was when you couldn't go a week without a major theatrical release featuring an American Pie cast member in some capacity. I think that run came to an end when Jason Biggs did the Woody Allen movie.

Z

Andrew: Chef is good actually don't listen to those joyless naysayers

Rhea

Ehh-heh-heh-hehhh!

Tim O'

This movie sounds like garbage, but you guys are kinda talking me into watching the one from the '70s.

Tim O'

Ive run into Harry Knowles a couple of times here in Austin and he is one of the worst smelling Human beings Ive ever had the displeasure of being around.

Kyle Reeder

We send all the bad fighters to rollerball mocap, noface, collector and Hydro.

Mark D Myers

Oh that sweet, sweet Lambert impersonation...my punchcard is almost full

Smaug

"I watched that dang fool Hitchcock's film Vertigo the other day. You know that scene where Kim Nowak appears in the suit with that green glow behind her? How did that idiot never think to make the whole SCREEN green with NIGHT VISION?" - Orson Welles, probably

Overflight

I love a good wild Raiden appearance

Chris Tobias

The mention of Slipknot bootlegs jogged a terrible memory. I distinctly remember in 99 or 2000, downloading (very slowly) the Slipknot demo album Mate. Feed. Kill. Repeat. through Limewire or something similar. I was so into them back then, that I was really excited to get that boot!

Tony King

Chris Klein is fascinatingly bad in most things but I will say they have compilation videos online of his scenes in that Street Fighter movie from the mid-2000s and it's hilarious and might be the only time I watch anything from that movie.

Busiris

“Is that….Dean Cain?” - Mulaney on watching Law & Order where Dean Cain plays a rapist.

jribs

Not sure if it’s ever been stated but I feel like The Longest Yard with the Sandman is a stay tuned and a half!

jribs

This was a great episode to listen to… in night vision

Kevin Lynch

Justice is served cold.

Adam Lewis

Yikes that Chris Klein audition tape. Man, that’s embarrassing. Also wouldn’t mind if Raiden made his thoughts known on every episode

RJ Cunningham

Chris Klein had roughly the same career arc as Coach Klein.

MarkNM

Eh he he he - Chris(topher Lambert)

We Hate Movies

Same. - Andrew

We Hate Movies

I was also working at a theater and had to build Rollerball when it came out. I remember watching it late that night before it came out and thinking that people were going to have a problem with the night vision stuff, but no one ever complained. First of all, the movie didn’t really do any business, and by that point in the movie, you’re probably so checked out that you don’t give a shit when it actually happens. At first, I remember thinking that it must have just looked like that inside of whatever vehicle they were in, but then you see outside scenes that look like that, too, so it’s clear it wasn’t part of the world of the movie.

Rob Brown

Relevant to the Skipknot state legislature discussion! https://thehardtimes.net/music/slipknot-still-claiming-theyre-not-a-ska-band-despite-having-17-members/

Rob Brown

Howard Stern said The Longest Yard remake with Adam Sandler is what happens when you take the heart and soul out of the original. Rollerball'02 is what happens if the classic Rollerball suffered a traumatic head injury.

CharlesGrodin'sToupee

I've seen this movie cover in the video stores for years and not once thought I should watch this lol

Watch_N_Rewatch

It got completely erased from my memory as soon as I watched it. So, there's that.

Eren Keskin

Anytime they can work in the Lambert impressions and I’m a happy guy

Milan Davidek

I will side with Cabin on part of this - he works well as an affable, well meaning dumbass in Election. Not the most versatile skill set, but could have kept himself working as an alright character actor. Just never had the chops to lead.

Todd B

I could have sworn Dean Cain was in this, but it turns out that was some DTV thing called Futuresport in 1998. Definitely looks like a stay tuned.

Craig

"What's happening right now?" - me 35 times during the movie.

Ray

Klein is kinda like what would happen if one surgically removed all of the charm out of Keanu.

johnny stocker

This film is the real reason the director was imprisoned

Rob Balducci


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