Elsewhere in the Arcadia Multiverse...
Added 2025-04-01 15:00:15 +0000 UTC<Note>
Due to frequent and popular request, I’m bringing back a favorite and beloved character from the Amazon Apocalypse series for his own spin-off! Hope you enjoy this sneak peek:
Along the outer edges of the Arcadia Multiverse, a giant raven flew through the void. Its talons were sharp as swords, and its feathers were black as night. This was the Chaos Raven, and to see it was to see your own death.
Ordinarily, entire worlds would quake at the news the Chaos Raven was nearby, for it would surely mean calamity was about to befall them.
But not today. Today, the Chaos Raven had a terrible case of indigestion.
“Dramonar, son of Morganthor, your soul was disgusting!” the Chaos Raven squawked. The humanoid voice diminished the Chaos Raven’s otherwise fearsome appearance.
The Chaos Raven found a small gem of a world, weak but suitable enough for a bathroom stop. The people there screamed in terror and horror at the Chaos God’s approach, and they screamed even more as creamy white bird droppings fell from the Chaos God’s ass and smothered several cities.
The Chaos Raven flew off greatly relieved, returning to the void and leaving only an enormous pile of stinking poop behind to mark its presence.
The Chaos Raven never learned the world’s name, but it was merely called home by the locals, who knew of no other worlds beyond their own. The half-digested souls that emerged from the Chaos Raven’s droppings spread across the land of these humble folk. These misshapen and ugly creatures soon discovered they were the strongest denizens of this new world.
When the locals called them demons for their foul, bird-shit-covered appearance, the invaders accepted the name, and the strongest among them dubbed himself the Demon King.
The people of this world unfortunate enough to be shit on by a Chaos God could do nothing but tremble against the Demon King and his men, for they knew no magic, and they lacked all but the most mundane abilities.
On the whole of their world, there was only one exception to this rule. Someone from far away. Someone whose soul was so foul and so utterly devoid of redeeming characteristics that even a Chaos God’s body refused to touch it.
That soul’s name was Dramonar, and he was this world’s only hope.
“I’m back! Ha! I knew I'd be fine. And to think, the other wizards thought signing your soul over to a Chaos God was a bad idea. Guess they just lacked my natural intuition. Now, where am I?” Dramonar wondered aloud.
He looked down at himself and saw his hands were ghostly and transparent, and to his alarm, he realized he was dead. He tried to access his System menus to confirm this theory, but to his alarm, his menus didn’t work properly.
“I must be outside of System space. That’s why the menus don’t work. And why the System didn’t take me away after I died…” Dramonar examined his own fingers a while before coming to the conclusion he didn’t like being dead.
With that realization to lead him, he left in search of a nearby town. Most were deserted thanks to the demon invasion, which Dramonar slowly pieced together as he floated bodiless around the world. Eventually, though, he found a young man of a suitable age and social station, and Dramonar waited for him to sleep.
When his target was weakest, Dramonar threw himself into the body and wrestled for control over it with the soul already inside. The battle was hard-fought, and the noble boy’s soul was strong, but eventually, Dramonar succeeded. When he opened his eyes again, he was whole.
“So that was possession. It’s surprisingly easy when the System isn’t there to prevent it...” Dramonar muttered, examining flesh and blood hands.
“Quick, Master Gaymonar, we must make it to your family’s countryside estate before the demons come! Otherwise, we will surely be devoured,” asked a fair maiden. Dramonar realized she was likely one of his new body’s maids.
“Demons? Bah. They’re just weak trash I could crush with ease. Just you watch. In a few weeks I’ll be running this backwater world.” Dramonar stood and stroked his maid’s cheek with a hungry finger, which caused the maid to blush fiercely.
“Master Gaymonar... I... I didn’t realize you had any interest in women. In the past, you’ve only ever wanted strong and sturdy men.” The maid blushed as Dramonar touched her face.
Dramonar stood straighter, frowning as he suddenly realized his ass had felt strange from the moment he’d taken this body. He could only hope that it would fix itself in time.
“The past is the past. Listen, you are very fortunate. I will allow you to be my temporary concubine, at least until I find someone better.” Dramonar told the maid, doing his best to sound romantic.
“Oh... young master. You have such a way with words...” the maid said uncertainly.
Dramonar preened at the compliment but had no time to enjoy it, for a moment later, a blood-curdling howl split the air.
“Demons!” the maid shouted with fright.
Dramonar turned his head, and sure enough, he heard a terrible groan.
Something vast was rumbling across the horizon. It looked like a mass of half-dissolved humanoid bodies fused together by sticky white bird poop. It was hideous to look upon, and smelling it was even worse.
“To arms, to arms! Knights of the kingdom, defend Young Master Gaymonar!” shouted one of the other members of Dramonar’s party. Six knights mounted horses, while three archers knocked arrows. None would be of any use, though. All of Dramonar’s companions were F-Rank, without a level to their name.
The malformed creature of bird poop they called a demon, meanwhile, was D-Rank. Ordinarily, it would be no problem for Dramonar, but losing his old body had lost him a lot of levels and abilities. But not all of them.
“Fools! Stop shooting it with arrows or running around it with horses. Stand next to it and draw its attention, and I’ll fry the thing while it’s trying to eat you,” Dramonar instructed.
And one particularly stupid knight did just that. He got off his horse and approached the ravenous demon with only his sword.
Fortunately for him, Dramonar’s magic returned to him after a few moments of concentration, and a huge fireball erupted from his hands and struck the demon.
“AAARGHHH... impossible! There is no magic here!” the demon cried in a broken voice.
“Stupid demon, you didn’t know who you were up against!” Dramonar chuckled while his knights and soldiers stared at him in awe and wonder. They’d never seen someone cast a fireball before. Dramonar was this world's first wizard. And soon everyone would know his name.
***
Thanks to his amazing fireball spell, Dramonar’s fame spread far and wide. Unfortunately for him, only that spell from his past life came back to him. He had known others but had never been studious enough to know the spell forms by heart. He’d always depended on items, having a book close at hand, or just the System’s aid to help him cast. Now he was on his own.
Still, the fact that he could cast spells at all was light in the dark for all the terrified people of this world, who were otherwise helpless against the demons. Many of them had been little more than souls thanks to the Chaos Raven’s stomach acid, so mortal blades and weapons were helpless to do anything to them.
Soon, Dramonar was brought face-to-face with the king of the strongest remaining kingdom of the realm.
“Young Lord Gaymonar, you have proven you are blessed by powers unknown to us. Your magic is the only power that can slay the Demon King. By the power vested in me by the heavens and the people of this land, I name you our hero. Please, choose companions from among my court to aid you in your quest,” the king said.
And so Dramonar selected the finest beauties in the land, and with them to support him, he slowly made his way into the depths of demonic lands. There, he confronted the Demon King.
“A curse upon you, hero! How dare you flaunt your concubines before me, the Demon King! I swear upon my power, I shall inflict you with the worst NTR imaginable when all this is through!” the Demon King howled malevolently.
“Demon King, why do you destroy our lands? Why have you come here?” asked the princess, who Dramonar had chosen as one of his companions.
“Sexual frustration!” the Demon King said as he gestured down at his body, which was nothing but melted bones and grotesque, rotting flesh. “Once, I roamed Themyscira as a traveling wizard-doctor. A strange, wise man shared the spell Fabulous Phallus with me, and with it, I could cure even the most severe form of Amazonian hysteria. Alas, my enemies were jealous of my exploits and captured me for sacrifice to the Chaos Raven. It is only by a fluke of fortune that I wound up here. Yet how is it that my soul wound up ruined and twisted into an abomination, but yours is unblemished? Are you immune to the influence of Chaos Gods? Or did the Chaos Raven simply find every part of you so repugnant?”
Dramonar sneered at the Demon King. “Ah, the Fabulous Phallus spell. As if I would ever lose to someone who wasted a spell slot on something like that! I, Dramonar, am more than skilled enough without such a crutch.”
Behind him, several women shook their heads and waved their hands in the negative.
“Hero, you will perish, and then all this world shall follow close behind! I will render this entire planet dickless! If I can not have sex, no one can!” the Demon Lord howled as he gathered all his magic, which was a basic D-Grade lightning spell.
Meanwhile, Dramonar conjured his fireball. The spells met at once, magic against magic. The world seemed to hold its breath before the thunderous clash of hero and Demon King.
Then, because two magic spells meeting and somehow pushing against one another in the air is dumb, both suddenly slipped by one another. The Demon King was vaporized by Dramonar’s fireball, and Dramonar was struck by the Demon King’s lightning bolt.
“You did it, hero! You slew the Demon King!” the princess shouted, jumping in delight.
But Dramonar could only look down at his crotch, which had been struck by the Demon King’s spell.
“No! It can’t be! The Demon King’s final spell... burned my dick off! I’m Dickless!” Dramonar cried out.
In the distance, Dramonar heard the Demon King let out one last dying laugh.
Dramonar fell to his knees in despair.
Nearby, his female companions cheered even louder.
<Note>
Happy April 1st!
I’m sure most of you guys realized this by now, but this was an April Fools’ Day chapter. I missed the last two years, but I’ve always enjoyed these when I have time.
And no, there won’t be a Dramonar spin-off series. Sorry if anyone was actually excited for that.
Comments
That had me really going.
Benjamin Mukasa
2025-04-04 17:09:02 +0000 UTCLmfao I was getting irritated thinking that some how there was enough people requesting this that you write it but honestly not a bad fate I’d love to see him show up again in his dickless fate
Brian McDonald
2025-04-02 18:00:20 +0000 UTC