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MarvinKnight
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Amazon Apocalypse 5: Chapter 47

“Broken how?” I asked Sir Trellis.

“Ever since the world ended, the afterlife changed. The same entity that stuffs all these nonsensical numbers before our eyes has stolen our rightful afterlives from us and separated us from the souls of our ancestors.”

Sir Sandon’s shoulders slumped. “I feared as much. The Goddess said something similar, though I hoped they were a metaphor beyond my understanding. Apparently, her she spoke plainly. Eternal salvation is truly beyond our reach.”

I couldn’t help but nod in agreement, mostly thanks to personal experience.

“You’re right. The System recycles souls. If you’re lucky, you’ll go back into the body of a human or Omikyr. If you aren’t, your soul will be broken down into parts and used to power various monsters.”

“This was revealed to you by the goddess?” Sir Trellis asked with worry in his tone.

I shook my head. “I experienced it myself. Back when the integration first started, I got myself killed. I spoke with others who’d already been hanging around the afterlife, along with somebody who’d been there a lot longer than any of us. She confirmed it for me.”

Sir Trellis’s expression seemed pale, like he was suddenly overcome with existential dread. I realized I should probably be a bit more careful about sharing stories of the afterlife with superstitious medieval folk.

“Anyway, souls are currently operating under a reincarnation system, unless you do something stupid and give a chunk to a Chaos God or sacrifice it to fuel some powerful spell. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.” Thinking of Dramonar, I tried to set the two of them at ease. Since the two knights weren’t wizards, I figured they didn’t have to worry about any soul-sacrificing rituals.

Despite my best efforts, they weren’t set at ease, so I got Sir Trellis talking about the broken mirror again to distract him.

“So the change in the afterlife broke the Goddess in Jade’s mirror. How strange. I’d like to see it nonetheless, if you’ll permit it. I might be able to fix it,” I suggested.

Sir Sandon’s eyes lit up for the first time since I started speaking about the afterlife.

“Yes! That is a revelation I should have foreseen. As a Holy Saint of the Goddess in Jade, your prayers will no doubt be far more powerful than ours. Sir Trellis, you must let him pray before the goddess’ holy artifact if it is broken. He may be the only one who can fix it.” Sir Sandon looked between me and Sir Trellis.

A moment later, Sir Trellis let out a sigh and nodded in agreement.

“Fine. Losing the mirror is a mighty blow to my order. Allowing you to pray for its revival won’t be too strange. Normally, there is a years-long waiting list to see the artifact, but given current circumstances, I think it is fair for you to skip the line.”

I clapped him on the shoulder.

“You will not be disappointed. I make no promises, but my ‘prayers’ are particularly effective on magical items.”

***

Sir Sandon and Sir Trellis might think I was going to fix their magic mirror with a bunch of kneeling, incense, and prayers, but I was actually planning to fix the thing with a little magitech engineering. Science would win the day once more!

That was usually more reliable than praying, anyway. My mother always said ‘God helps those who help themselves’ and I’d taken the saying to heart. If I was with my wrench and screwdriver arm-deep in the holy artifact, I’d have to convince Sir Trellis and Sir Sandon that the Goddess in Jade followed that same saying.

Making our way back to the golem shard took a while, mostly because it would have been too embarrassing to sling both full-grown knights over my shoulder and carrying them around like I often did with Mimiko and Reluna. So, I had to keep up with their running pace. At least we didn’t have to walk, since that would have taken all day. The one shortcut through the shadow realm I convinced them to take was enough to shave an hour off our travel time, so I was happy with that.

“What in the name of all that is holy was that place?” Sir Trellis panted. He was understandably tired after running through a shadowy dimension filled with otherworldly horrors.

“The shadow realm. It’s one of many dimensions that run parallel to our own. This one is filled with all sorts of hostile soul manifestations. It’s generally best to stay out of it unless you’re confident you’re the most powerful thing in the area,” I explained.

“I think it wise to keep out of it in general,” Sir Sandon said, also panting.

“Oh, it wasn’t so bad. Mimiko and Reluna go through it with me all the time,” I chuckled.

“Then they are as mad as I suspected,” Sir Trellis said, shaking his head.

I let the two knights wipe the sweat from their brows and calm down after their run through the shadow realm before Sir Trellis took me into the heart of the shrine he and his men were protecting.

“We’re at half-staff now, at Sir Sandon’s request. Most of our people are attempting to obtain new supplies now that we finally have contact with civilization again,” Sir Trellis explained. He seemed embarrassed by the fact that there was only one guard at the gates to greet us.

With two knights of the Goddess in Jade escorting me, I had no issues making my way to the heart of the fortress which housed this sacred artifact of the Goddess in Jade.

“Normally, pilgrims seeking an audience with the deceased are left for fifteen minutes at a private alcove fenced off from the sacred artifact. But I suspect you will want access to the item itself, so we shall take the service entrance,” Sir Trellis explained as he led me past a set of ornate doors and a donation box to something that looked less sacred and more practical.

We passed several Omikyr nuns and monks who respectfully bowed their heads at Sir Trellis as they went about their duties, sweeping the floors, filling fireplaces, and generally moving about the place. It reminded me a bit of a fancy hotel combined with an important exhibit. Though this was a religious site, I got the impression that it was a very lucrative business as well. Having a monopoly on the ability to speak with the dead was probably quite an important money maker for Sir Sandon and Sir Trellis’ holy order.

“Here it is. The mirror that reflects the dead. It was left to us by the Goddess in Jade when she came to our world to enlighten it. And our order has kept it safe ever since,” Sir Trellis said.

Sir Trellis revealed a mirror of polished green crystal to me. I could see my reflection in it, but only vaguely. A cloudy haze shifted across the rest of the surface, like static on a television. The phenomenon was clearly otherworldly, just not what we were looking for. If this mirror was supposed to peer into the afterlife, it was currently tuned to the wrong channel. No doubt that was because of the integration.

He approached the holy artifact with reverence, even if it was broken. Sir Sandon followed behind us, with a similar expression on his face.

My expression was likely more of a deep frown. I saw the sacred mirror that Sir Sandon and Sir Trellis were looking at, which was really more of a big slab of jade. But I also saw past it.

A mirror was probably the wrong term for this device, if it could even be called that. It was more like a huge cylindrical rod of green crystal polished on both ends.

One end poked into the physical reality, though the chunk that did so was so thin it could be mistaken for a mirror. The other end stretched far outside of our dimension, where it presumably did the same thing.

I was simultaneously intrigued and disappointed. The sheer scale of extradimensional engineering required to make something like this was impressive. But it was impressive in the same way that watching an excavator lift a huge load of dirt was impressive compared to an average shovelful.

There was nothing technically impressive behind this rock. It was just a huge hunk of crystal. There was hardly even anything magical about it either. The only thing that made it impressive was how big it was and how it had gotten pointed at whatever it was looking at.

“The good news is I see your problem. The bad news is, magically speaking, I’d throw my back out trying to fix it,” I explained.

“You haven’t even tried praying yet. Give it some time. I have faith in you, Saint Carter,” Sir Trellis said.

Sir Sandon snapped his fingers. “I'll get some incense. Perhaps that will arouse the holy saint’s blessed power!”

“Candles too. I had the acolytes put all the candles out since there were no pilgrims to see them. They must be relit posthaste,” Sir Trellis said. Soon the two of them were off, leaving me a few minutes to work interrupted.

I reached into my satchel and pulled out a few tools and supplies, though none would be of direct help. All in all, my confidence had been greatly diminished. The problem was that this massive rock was too big to move around with my usual telekinetic powers, even enhanced as they were. I had a hunch that the other end of this enormous thing had to poke into the Kindling dimension. I had a vague impression of what extradimensional direction to point the rock to make that happen, but no way to physically pull the thing there.

I tried to think of how to set up a pulley system that would let me do it. The problem was I needed to haul something through a spatial dimension that didn’t exist where I was, which meant there was no way to pull the rock in the direction I needed to pull it except with my Kindling Architect telekinesis.

So, actually fixing the problem wasn’t going to work, at least not if I was working on my own. Thankfully, I wasn’t alone. The System was thinking and conscious, being with a whole lot more extradimensional might than me, at least when somebody pointed it in the right direction. All I needed to do was signal for a certain administrator’s attention and get her to help me.

“Hey System, you listening? There’s an artifact here that you could make really cool with just a little work.”

There was no response, and the mirror before me didn’t budge. Damn. Given all the favoritism from the System I was stacking up, I hoped it would be listening. But the System node here didn’t seem to be as conscious as the one in Ladwick. Perhaps because it was a newer node, and not one of the originals like the one in Ladwick was. It seemed like addressing the System directly wouldn’t do much good. I needed to talk with an Administrator.

“Lyra? Are you here? I could really use a favor from the System. Send me on a quest or something in exchange. I just want a helping hand with this project. Please?”

New Quest Available!

Affirm your loyalty and devotion to the System.

Reward: A small sign of appreciation and access to unique quests.

I stared at the System prompt a while, then looked around to the front face of the mirror. There were a set of cushions on the ground, clearly meant for kneeling and praying. Candles flickered nearby, and incense burned somewhere close, giving the small alcove a holy air.

Before the integration, I’d stopped paying much credence to religion. It was a private and personal choice because I’d rather spend my weekends working on my house or various projects than going somewhere, though I had no problems with those who were religious. I'd largely held onto that opinion through the integration.

The main difference these days was the fact that I knew the gods were real. What's more, I knew most of them were assholes.

Kneeling and praying before the System felt similar. I knew how it worked because I’d pulled apart an entire hub piece by piece.

And yet, I had a promise to keep, so I took a knee and clasped my hands together.

“Oh great and powerful wielder of forces beyond my comprehension, this humble servant beseeches you for aid. Aid me in repairing the artifact before me, and I shall return the favor.”

Suddenly, the ground trembled, and the air shook. Deep blue light flashed through our dimension, creeping over from the realm of the Kindling. I sensed its power manifest and the huge rod of crystalline jade poking out of our dimension began to rise.

It was like a giant had picked up a fallen block and was now righting it. In mere moments, the block was restored to its correct position, and the artifact before me became more than a shiny piece of rock once more. The hazy fog that covered its surface began clearing, and it soon revealed a room not unlike the inside of a pre-integration office.

“Amazing! My doubts are gone. You truly are the holy saint of the Goddess!” Sir Trellis said, eyes wide. I had no idea when he’d appeared, but I should have guessed he’d returned when I noticed the lit candles.

“We were right to have faith in the Goddess chosen. See what power his prayers have?” Sir Sandon looked particularly proud as he rested a hand on my shoulder.

“Wait, wait, that wasn’t really a prayer. It only worked because--“ I tried to protest.

“Nonsense. Humility is a virtue, but lying is a sin. Be proud. You are truly the holiest man I have ever met. This miracle shall be spread to clergymen across the land to share far and wide. Let all know we live in lands ruled by a blessed holy emperor!” Sir Trellis said. He’d been wary of me before, but after my little prayer, he’d completely changed his tune.

I grimaced. That really didn’t sound like it would be good for me. Being an emperor was bad enough. Being a blessed holy emperor sounded like an even bigger commitment.

“Look, just don’t expect me to fix any more problems by praying them away, alright?” I asked.

“We would not dare to presume, your holiness,” Sir Sandon bowed his head low.

“Agreed. However, there are a few small matters deserving of your attention. I think--“ Sir Trellis began, but he was interrupted by a rapping on the other side of the mirror. It sounded much like knocking on a door.

“Hello? Hello? Is this thing on? Lyra to Carter.”

I turned and saw Lyra standing there in full uniform, which for her meant a long black robe with a scythe on her back.

“Oh, Lyra! I was wondering if you’d show up.” I turned to the mirror. “Lyra, this is Sir Trellis and Sir Sandon. Trellis, Sandon, this is Lyra, the local reaper of souls.”

I hadn’t asked Sir Sandon or Sir Trellis if their cultures had any myths of a grim reaper, but from the pale looks on their faces, the answer was a definite yes. The two let out a girlish and un-knightly scream before running out of the room, leaving me alone with Lyra.

“Sorry about them. They’re a bit superstitious.” I shrugged, though truthfully, in this case, they were right. Lyra was exactly what she appeared to be.

Lyra sighed. “That’s why letting the living speak with the dead is normally against policy. I had to manually clear an exception for this item.”


<Note>
I always find it funny when agnostic characters have to deal with gods.
MC: "I don't believe in the gods!"
Local God 1: "Should I smite him?"
Local God 2: "No, I know something that'll be even better..."

Comments

I think atheists don't believe a god exists. Carter knows plenty of gods, he just doesn't like them.

Marvin

LMAO!

Adam M.

No. She'd want to call him daddy for real and be born and everything.

NovaZero

I think you meant atheist instead agnostic.

Vitrumist

That was funny ps the author note was funny too

Swordcollector45

Near the beginning you wrote her she spoke plainly, I would change it to just She spoke plainly

Matt Geller

Oh I just about died laughing. That's how I feel the gods would really be like. See how much they can mess with humanity

Gennydoll Weber

Oh 100% team Lyra best girl

Eduard Marciuc

This was great. Also, what would be the moral implications of adding a Reaper to the harem? That has many juicy possibilities. Can we hear it for Team Lyra? Anyone?

Tommy

Two knights screaming and running away like children is pretty amusing

WhiteRabbit

Wow this is very funny. I was expecting some big impressive demonstration of Carter's kindling architect abilities applying what he had recently learned of the mechanics of cultivation. But all that was useless for once and straight up praying fixed the artifact. The Adeptus Mechanicus would feel vindicated. Lyra is so nice and helpful. I hope Carter can do something nice for her. She doesn't deserve to be stuck on administrative duty for millenia. Love the chapter, looking forward to the next.

ArbabSB

A nice continuation of the story. One small thing, I would fix: The two let out a girlish and un-knightly scream before running out of the room ... into: The two let out girlish and un-knightly screams before running out of the room ... or: The two each let out a girlish and un-knightly scream before running out of the room ... They are 2 people and as such there needs to be a plural.

Hans


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