Amazon Apocalypse 5: Chapter 46

Plugging Governess into the golem shard had a few issues, starting with running wires for her. Previously, I’d been using Crownhill’s old cell tower to transmit her signal.

Unfortunately, there was no such tower on the Golem shard. I could build one given time, but even then I was skeptical if my old cell tower trick would work. Between the latency and bandwidth limits, I wasn’t sure she’d be able to properly interface with the golem production facilities if I routed data through those things.

Luckily, there was plenty of old Architect equipment to hijack. It seemed like only yesterday I’d been tugging on these same strands of power and accidentally bringing a horde of golems down on my own head. Now, I could follow the lines and mess with them as easily as running a new ethernet cord to Sakura’s office.

A bit of fiddling there, a little extradimensional drilling there, and eventually I had a cable that stretched all the way from the new administrative golem to my gaming computer. It looked like the old administrative golem had actually been connected to something more powerful in a similar manner, but the integration had severed the connection and left the golem opperating with only the local resources in its own head.

There was magic to weave and fabric of reality to alter, so I got to it and a few hours later I got the job done and the B-Grade golem I just built was sitting in a the administrator’s chair.

“I’m turning it on. You’re going to have to figure out how to run the factories yourself. Try to figure out why the broken assembly lines aren’t working. If you can do that, maybe I’ll fix them. But for now, I just want you to add these golems to your workforce. Your objective is the same as ever. Build new infrastructure for Crownhill and serve as backup emergency forces to keep my people safe, if they need it.” I gave her a shrug, though I was pretty sure the golem’s visual sensors were offline now that the golem was connected to the throne.

Governess replied, though the voice echoed through the entire room.

“Your edicts shall be carried out across your realms.”

With that, I took a quick trip to the same golem factory I’d infiltrated before and confirmed that they were online again. Some brief tests unfortunately confirmed that the previous generation of golems would remain hostile no matter what, so we’d be starting new with the next batch.

I ended up adding an extra stage to the assembly line. My people thought of these golems as enemies, so something as simple as a coat of gold spray paint was a worthwhile change to distinguish them as friendlies. I also looked over the other assembly lines. One was simply jammed, which was an easy enough fix. The Governess told me the others were lacking rare materials.

I probably could have redesigned them or made new golems or done any other number of things with the place, but I figured building a small army’s worth of golems was enough of a project for one day. Once I knew how much use Governess was getting out of them, I'd do more.

I wanted the golems for backup, but I didn’t want so many of them that Crownhill’s forces became totally reliant on them like those folks up in the treehouses. That would only lead to slower level gain and weakening of my forces. It was better to let my people take the lead in our defense.

***

With the golems working for me now, I turned my attention back to what I’d been trying to finish ever since I returned to Crownhill. And that was the resurrection of Ben and the others, and with them the fulfillment of my long-held promise to do for them what they’d done for me.

And for that, I needed access to the Goddess in Jade’s magic artifact to let me speak with the dead. Sir Sandon had a few days to soften Sir Trellis up to the idea of me using his magic mirror. Now I needed to chat him up and seal the deal.

I took a trip home to clean up, put on my ever-reliable Stylish Sunglasses, and made myself presentable for a pilgrimage to a holy site.

Sir Sandon had taken Sir Trellis to the Omikyr villages his forts surrounded. These peasant villagers administered the Goddess in Jade’s shrine in the area, and they were a shining example of how wonderful life was under my rule.

I would meet him there, and after seeing how wonderful life was under my rule, he would no doubt be overjoyed to see me.

“Ah! If it isn’t our glorious emperor!” a familiar voice called out to me.

I turned, smiled, and waved, though I still didn’t like being called emperor.

The rotund, waddling figure ambling up to me struck no resemblance to anyone in particular in my mind. The deer-man approached me at a snail’s pace, though even that seemed fast, considering each of his legs was the size of my torso.

“Oh, hello, citizen! Have you seen Sir Sandon by any chance? Or Sir Trellis?” I asked politely.

“Ah, you don’t recognize me? I have been eating damn well lately, so it’s no surprise. It’s me, Mayor Wiglaf! I was the one to greet you when you first came to our lands,” the very fat Omikyr mayor replied.

I blinked and stared at the outrageously fat man. This was Mayor Wiglaf? How? When?

He seemed considerably more cheery than the wary fellow I'd met before. If he hadn't said his name, I wouldn't have ever guessed who he was.

“Mayor Wiglaf. Right. Of course, I recognized you!” I said with a laugh. I quickly used examine on him to make sure he wasn't a heretic flesh golem that had replaced the original mayor.

Mayor Wiglaf (Level 33)

The scan came up normal, and I wasn't sure why anyone would want to replace Mayor Wiglaf. I could only assume this was the real Mayor Wiglaf.

Since I’d last seen him, the mayor had put on ten levels, and about three hundred pounds.

“It’s not every day I get to welcome royalty to the village. Come on, let me give you the tour. Your agents came through recently, and the new buildings are working wonderfully. And the new delicacies have caught on quick. I admit, I’ve grown quite fond of what your people call cheeseburgers and fries.”

Suddenly, a bad feeling crept up my spine.

Mayor Wiglaf entered the town. He had to stop several times to catch his breath, which ordinarily wouldn’t be too surprising for a man of his size. But he was level thirty-three. Someone of his level would normally be able to outrun the best Olympic athletes. The fact that he was winded at all had me worried.

I placed a hand on his back, peering through space and knowing what I’d find there. Sure enough, he had some particularly clogged arteries. I pulled the fatty deposits out of this dimension and out of his body, and his heart suddenly had a much easier time pumping blood.

“Whew. Sorry about that. I worked up a sweat just now. What do you say we stop for a bite to eat?” Mayor Wiglaf asked.

Then he waddled off in the direction of a fast-food restaurant that looked entirely out of place in the otherwise completely medieval village.

I followed him there and sat down and realized it was one of the emergency food sites we’d set up to help the medieval farmers survive while they couldn’t plant crops because of all the monsters. By now ,the monsters had been pretty much taken care of, but plenty of Omikyr had found more lucrative positions in our economy than subsistence farming, so we’d kept up the free food.

“I will take a extra crispy double-fried burger with extra large fries, please. And a ice cream on the side,” Mayor Wiglaf said when he arrived at the counter. He turned to me. “Anything for you?”

“Water is fine,” I said.

The two of us sat, and I watched in fascinated horror as other Omikyr waddled in, many of them every bit as large as Mayor Wiglaf.

“I take it the food from Crownhill is treating you all well?” I asked cautiously.

“Oh, most well, Your Imperial Highness! The food is delicious. Normally, I’d feel full long before now, but with this stuff is so tasty I can’t bring myself to stop!”

“Don’t you guys worry you’re packing on a little too much extra mass?” I asked.

“Nonsense. We’re preparing for winter. We didn’t till the soil much at all on account of the monsters, so I expect lean times ahead. All of us are eating well while your lordship is sending such fine delicacies our way free of charge. It’ll make a long, hard winter much more bearable.”

Mayor Wiglaf tilted up his bowl of ice cream and brought it to his lips, where he slurped half of it down like it was a drink. Nearby, I could see quite a few other Omikyr doing something similar. These medieval peasants had adapted to a modern diet quite rapidly. Perhaps a bit more rapidly than was healthy for them.

“How sure are you that this cold, hard winter is coming?” I asked.

“Winter always comes, lad! I know you’re emperor and all, but you’re young.”

“I’m not so sure. Crownhill’s new trade network is vast and stretches across many worlds and pocket realms. When crops aren’t in season in one, we’ll just trade in another. I don’t think winter is anything to be scared of.”

But the mayor still shook his head. “I know you mean well, your lordship, but winter comes in many forms. Your larders may be stocked, and maybe you have crops that can cheat the cold, but winter always comes. My people are just preparing for the worse since we know it’ll come, eventually.”

“So, a metaphorical winter, not just a real one?”

“A what?” Wiglaf scratched his head at the unfamiliar word.

When I explained it to him, he agreed that was the general idea. He was certain something would eventually cut off our food supply. Or monsters would sack our grain stores. Or an invading army would steal everything we had. He seemed certain that lean times were coming and he and his people needed to make the most of this time of plenty while they could.

Meanwhile, I was none too pleased with recent developments. The last thing I expected to get hit with was an obesity epidemic sweeping my territories. Most of the humans in Crownhill now sported quite heroic figures, thanks to all their levels and a healthy exercise regime of slaying monsters.

But besides Sir Sandon’s knights, most of the Omikyr were more content as civilians than soldiers. Worse, they’d never experienced the kinds of flavorful and calorie-packed food we could provide.

Thinking back, I’d even heard some rumors that people had been trying to pack even more calories into the average meal with the help of exotic materials like monster meat. After all, a human who ran as fast as a car for hours on end would need a whole lot of energy. Much of that could come from mana, but fighters with little mana and lots of stamina probably preferred to simply eat a week’s worth of food at every sitting. It would explain how fast Sakura and Myrina put away Bridget’s cooking.

This was a problem, and it was at least partially my fault. Worse, it was the kind of problem I couldn’t fix by killing something. Even if I went through everyone here and tuned up their bodies to prevent a heart attack like I did for Mayor Wiglaf, that would just be staving off the inevitable. These medieval village aliens just weren’t suited to a modern diet.

There had to be a solution to this. After all, all the Amazonians I’d brought over who’d joined up with us hadn’t gotten fat. But they were fighting all day and usually much higher level. I also remembered making some changes to the base human form when I reached D-Grade, which meant this kind of thing wouldn’t be a problem for humans following in my footsteps.

What an unexpected pain in the ass. I really didn't want to deal with this.

This sounded like a job for Margaret! Or Bridget. Hell, I’d even be willing to put Mimiko and Reluna on the job. If the Omikyr were really unlucky, I’d give the job to Myrina. Basically, anyone besides me. I would get someone on it.

“Very fascinating. Well, your people certainly have an interesting perspective. But about my earlier question. Have Sir Sandon? He was escorting another knight around by the name of Sir Trellis?” I asked.

“I have indeed, your lordship! Sir Trellis came through here earlier today to see our shrines. He is likely at the shrine right now, paying his respects to the goddess! You might catch up with him if you hurry.

“Thank you, Wiglaf. I do need to catch up with them. I’ll be back to visit sometime soon.”

***

Sure enough, Sir Sandon and Sir Trellis were at the shine of the Goddess in Jade. The new knight had likely already paid his respects to the statue. I probably should give her door a knock as well. Last time, she’d been too busy to answer my call, but that had been a while ago.

I caught the last snippets of Sir Trellis and Sir Sandon’s conversation as I made my way over to them.

“I just don’t understand why they’re all so fat. What happened?” Sir Trellis asked.

Sir Sandon rested a hand on Sir Trellis’ shoulder. “The goddess works in mysterious ways.”

I coughed to get their attention and waved as I approached.

“Ah, Lord Carter, are you here to pay your respects at the shrine as well?” Sir Sandon asked.

“Something like that. I wanted to see Sir Trellis. Did Sir Sandon show you Crownhill? What do you think of my lands?”

I turned to Sir Trellis, the unfamiliar knight who I’d almost come to blows with.

Sir Trellis looked around as though double-checking to make sure Mimiko and Reluna were nowhere nearby. When he didn’t see either of them, he relaxed a bit.

“Your lordship, your lands are truly a sight to behold. And my heart is lifted to know you do not oppress the faithful gathered here or force them to abandon these shrines. Many other foreign lords would not hesitate to do so.”

I shrugged. “So long as people follow my laws, I have no qualms about who, how, or what they worship.”

Sir Trellis looked troubled.

“I have heard other things, too. Things that are harder to believe. A few says you are a holy saint anointed by the goddess herself?” Sir Trellis asked skeptically.

I chuckled and scratched the back of my head sheepishly. “I bear that title, yes. The Goddess in Jade granted me aid to smite several great threats that plagued these lands. Chaos Gods, evil dragons, and undead wizards were just a few of those foes we’ve vanquished so far.”

“And have you given any thought to declaring worship of the Goddess in Jade the one true religion of your realm? Turning all your people to her service would surely meet with her approval.”

I chuckled again, though this time there was a bit of warning in it. “I’m not so sure about that. I already promised freedom of religion, so it would be wrong to take it away.”

“The Goddess in Jade’s faithful would not be so welcome here if not for Lord Carter’s open views. We can’t ask for favoritism from him when he has already done so much for us,” Sir Sandon interjected. He looked a little worried by Sir Trellis’s line of questioning. He’d spent longer among humans and knew most of us were unlikely to revere the Goddess in Jade as his people did.

Thankfully, Sir Trellis took the hint and didn’t push the issue. I spent a while walking and speaking with the two knights about Crownhill, these Omikyr settlements, and my plans for the future of both.

Before the integration, I’d never placed much faith in my personal charisma, but here and now I could see it working. Sir Trellis’ tense shoulders relaxed, and his posture seemed more open. By the time we were done conversing, I was pretty sure there’d be no conflict between my people and his.

Such a fight would have been a completely one-sided affair at any rate, but slaughtering Sir Trellis and his knights might have strained relations with the other Omikyr villages, so I was happy it never came to such things.

“So, Sir Trellis, I have a favor to ask. The Goddess in Jade told me you are in possession of one of her sacred artifacts. Some sort of portal that lets you peer past death and speak with the deceased. I would dearly like to see it. There are some lost souls in the afterlife I need to speak with.”

Sir Trellis froze, lips tight and expression like stone. Sir Sandon looked at him, face anxious and bearing the same question as mine. No doubt he was also interested in speaking with some of his dead comrades in arms.

“I... I’m sorry, that won’t be possible,” Sir Trellis said. He hung his head in shame. “Much to our shame, the sacred artifact my knightly order was meant to protect... is broken.”


<Note>

I figure people would call it unrealistic if the medieval knights from a holy order didn't at least try to impose their faith on the rest of Crownhill at least once. I don't really want to make a big deal out of that kind of plot though, so I figure just having the conversation once and then having them accept a 'no' should be enough.