Amazon Apocalypse 2: Chapter 20

“Grab him!” I heard a familiar voice yell. It was Sakura.

“Hey Sakura, Bridget! I’m back!” I yelled in reply. The two of them came rushing out of the house. “What’s got the two of you all -- oof!”

I yelped as Sakura tackled me. Soon, Bridget was on top of me, too. I felt a tingle run up my spine as someone used Examine on me.

“I know what you’ve been up to, mister! I knew it the moment I saw the look in that vixen’s eyes!” Sakura growled as she stared deep into my eyes. “My jealousy burns like the sun! Soon it will--“

“Wait, Sakura. You were wrong. Look at his level.” Bridget gestured at me, and I felt the first tingle fade as a second one began. “It’s exactly the same as when he left.”

“Huh.” Sakura sat up. “Wait, you mean to say you didn’t fuck your hot best friend who you haven’t seen in years?”

I sat up. “No, I didn’t. Is that what this is about?”

Much to my confusion, Sakura got angry again. “What’s wrong with you? Did you see her? She was gorgeous!”

I coughed and spluttered. “Excuse me?”

Sakura poked me in the chest. “She was all over you. What kind of red-blooded man can spend days alone with someone like her without getting busy?”

I furrowed my brows. “Sakura, Bridget, I did nothing with Myrina. Sure, she was flirtier than was probably appropriate, but we had a talk and we’re just friends. That’s how we want it to be, and that’s how it is.”

“Ugh. I can’t believe this.” Sakura shook her head. “We had an entire night planned where we were going to prove we’re ten times better than any Amazon hussy you might have known when you were a kid! Then mix in some cold shoulders and hard tack for lunch. After you begged and pleaded a little, we'd finally relent and let you talk to her some more, so long as we set some ground rules on the relationship and had some private time to talk to her, just us girls. We got the candles and everything for when we finally made up and stopped being mad at you! Now, all our preparations are wasted. She probably knows so much stuff that would help us with our classes and jobs. She would have been really useful.”

I blinked a few times in confusion. “Oh... well... I’m sorry I didn’t sleep around behind your backs?”

Sakura harrumphed. “You better be. Bridget! Change of plans. Swap out the cherry pie for a pecan pie tonight. Carter only deserves his second-favorite piece of pie after putting us through this roller coaster.”

“You think I put you through a roller coaster?” I shook my head, then followed it up with a laugh. I couldn’t help it. What had my life come to ever since the apocalypse?

***

Sakura and Bridget caught me up on everything they’d done during my absence. Mostly, it was a lot of hunting, gathering supplies, and turning my farmhouse from a place I’d built to survive an apocalypse into a place where the three of us could actually live.

I hadn’t realized how barren the place had been, despite my renovations. The empty hallways were now lined with rugs, the walls held paintings and tapestries, and every room was packed with furniture. It made the place feel a lot smaller but also a lot cozier.

“We’ve been shopping,” Sakura said.

“By shopping, Sakura means we’ve been looting abandoned houses for stuff,” Bridget explained.

“Ah. Well, I suppose that’s a given during an apocalypse. So long as nobody is using it, the stuff’s just going to rot where it is.” I gave them both an approving nod.

“You have more space than you realize, you know,” Sakura said as she picked up her slice of pecan pie and started eating it like it was a slice of pizza. “The walls there lead to the messed up copies of your house!”

Sakura went quiet for a moment as she ate, and Bridget finished explaining to her. “We’ve been thinking about knocking down a few walls and expanding things. Sakura seems to think that all we have to do is move a couple of supports in the right places, and we could double the size of the house.”

I shrugged. “This place was plenty big for just me, but if the two of you want more space, then you’re welcome to it. I’ll take a more thorough look at the house later, though. I did enough work on this place that I should be able to tell if knocking out a wall or putting a new one in will bring the roof crashing down on your heads.”

“But enough about us!” Sakura set her empty plate down. “We did nothing interesting. Tell us about you! What happened while you were away? Did your childhood friend sneak into your bed at night when you weren’t looking, only for you to coldly and cruelly rebuff her?”

I rolled my eyes. “Nothing like that happened, Sakura. It was exactly what she said it would be. A tutorial mission where she taught me how to use the System and how to train.”

I explained some of what I’d learned from the Theory Crafter and my days of training, but Bridget and Sakura were much more interested in Myrina.

“It sounds like she wanted to kiss you,” Bridget nodded sagely.

“What? Myrina? No.” I frowned. “Well, alright, maybe. But it just wouldn’t work.”

“Why?” Sakura elbowed me curiously. “You have something against redheads, don’t you? I admit, in movies and books these days, they always seem to be depicted as fiery and headstrong, but that’s just for show. It also seems like authors who write about books with strong-willed red-headed love interests always end up getting fat. There’s that guy who wrote the book with the dragons and a civil war, the one about the guy who kills kings, the one about the thief and his acting troupe, the one with the knights with magic swords and armor...” Sakura trailed off as she counted off a worryingly large number of authors.

“It must be a curse or something. I’d be pretty scared if I was an author writing a book with a red-headed love interest.” Bridget picked up our plates and headed to the kitchen.

“I have nothing against redheads!” I insisted. “And there’s definitely no such curse!”

“If you say so...” Sakura trailed off, clearly not believing me. Bridget glanced back at me and threw us a coy shrug as she washed the dishes.

“Anyway...” I tried to drive the conversation back to my training and what I’d learned. “Myrina taught me a lot about how the System works. I got a neat bag of holding, too. I’ll show you both how it works. There are a lot of menus you wouldn’t even think to access. She told me I--“

“Post pie dessert anyone?” Bridget asked, returning with a plate full of pastries.

“Ugh, Bridget! If we hadn’t spent the entire week hunting monsters, I’d have already put on ten pounds...” Sakura moaned as she bit into a pastry bursting with jam.

Bridget stifled a short giggle as she passed the plate to me. “Sorry! But I want those chef job levels!”

“Delicious. Thank you, Bridget. Now, as I was saying about the System menus--“

“Wait a second. You skipped the part about the kiss!” Bridget pouted as she curled up next to me. “Go back. I must have missed it while I was in the kitchen."

“Yeah, Carter! Where’s the human intrigue in your story? All I’m hearing is a boring how-to on menu navigation,” Sakura groaned.

I sighed in defeat. Then I took another bite of pastry. At least defeat tasted good.

Bridget pressed her cheek against the side of my chest, looking up at me with doleful eyes. Not to be outdone, Sakura flipped herself around and rested her head on my lap.

With a roll of my eyes, I returned to what the two of them cared about. Unfortunately, I was going to ruin the whole romance for them before it even got going.

“Myrina and I aren’t an item, you two. Don’t worry, she can help us plenty as just my friend. Our friend, if the two of you learn to play nice with her. And we’re not just friends because I don’t like redheads or something equally silly.” I took a deep breath. “The truth is... Myrina or her family will squish my head if I get serious with her. It’s just not happening.”

“Uh... what?” Bridget asked.

“Like... smush your brains into paste?” Sakura furrowed her brows.

I nodded to both of them. “That’s right. Apparently, it’s an Amazonian tradition. An Amazonian will only take a man after she proves he can beat her in battle. Instead of an engagement ring, they have a fight to the death. Well, death on the guy’s end. Presumably, it’s just to surrender on the Amazonian’s half.”

“Wait. So you’re saying Myrina can’t get with you because her culture will force her to fight you to the death first? And she can’t do that because her level is far enough higher than yours that it wouldn’t even be a fair fight?” Sakura let out a short laugh that quickly grew louder and louder. Eventually, clutching her belly, she fell off the couch and onto the floor. That didn’t stop her from laughing, though.

“That’s tragic. And romantic, in a messed up way. Forbidden love...” Bridget sighed into my chest.

“It’s funny!” Sakura snorted, still laughing uncontrollably. “She clearly loves our Carter but can’t get what she wants without a fight to the death! Wait, that means she’s probably never even had a boyfriend before! Ha! That’s even better.”

“That tradition doesn’t sound very fair.” Bridget shook her head sadly, though she was hiding a smile beneath her hand.

“Oh my god, this is perfect! Thank you, Carter!” Sakura cackled. “I have so much ammunition to use against her! Next time she shows her smug face, she won’t dare tease us. I won’t have to destroy another chair either...”

“I’m glad the two of you find it amusing.” I shook my head. “For your information, I spent every night there sweating my rear off for fear that she’d sneak into my bed and initiate something that would end with me fleeing from her family like my life depended on it. Which it would have.”

After being fully briefed on the romantic front, Bridget and Sakura were at last ready to listen to what I’d learned about designing classes, builds, picking spells, and how to train proficiencies.

Having the two of them curled up next to me brought to mind something I’d missed since I’d run off with Myrina.

The two of them needed me. We were partners, and the two of them could hold their own against minor threats enough to keep the house free of monsters, but against foes like the Alpha Wolfman, they needed my help.

That was in stark contrast to being back with the Samhain Clan. There, I’d spent a tremendous amount of effort just to go from a burden that needed to be protected to someone worth treating like an equal partner.

There was something fulfilling deep down about knowing there were people here who depended on me. It was like a responsibility, to be sure. But it was one that put a little extra pep in my step and provided meaning to all my hard work.

If I had been the kind of man to prefer a carefree life, I would have never brought Sakura with me to my shelter. I never would have joined the others in establishing the shelter back in Crownhill. I never would have fought Craig.

And yet I had done all those things, and I’d grown stronger for it. Before the integration, I’d never been anyone special.

But now I was special. If not to the people of Crownhill, then certainly to the pair of women curled up next to me.