I just wanted to let you all know this because I love you and care about you

You mean more to me than money ever could and the fact that you are here and appreciate my work makes life worth living.

I want you to be very careful about supporting me next month if you have your sub on auto renew.

There's been something wrong with my head lately and I'm just having the hardest time in the world being able to draw. As soon as I sit down my vision goes blurry and I feel like fainting. I can't "Feel it" much anymore no matter how much I try and force it.

I'm doing my best for this month and I don't know how thats going to go and I dont know how next month is going to go either. I feel like I'm made of TV static and I just cant right now.

I just don't want anyone to feel like I'm ripping them off or am misleading them for money. Your support and contributions mean a lot to me, yes, and it helps me stay alive, which I like being alive, but I would never dream of putting that before this.

So unless you just want to support me for me next month, you might want to wait to see if I am able to pump out a few pictures first <3

I think what it is, btw, Is I know I have Aphantasia, which is the inability to imagine, so I've developed ways for me to draw based on muscle memory and straight memory. If somethings wrong in my head where Im foggy it severely impacts my artistic abilities.

Like, Imagine learning to draw with your hands all your life and then someone says "Now you have to draw with your feet". You still know how to draw but it doesnt come out right from your feet and nothing you do makes it work and you just dont want to do it anymore because its not fun and you cant accurately draw your vision. Everything is fuzzy, and bad, and wrong.

But anyways, thank you for being here. I promise promise promise im doing my best each and every day. I've been trying to be positive and talk only about how im working on myself and stuff like that and stop complaining as much and start leaving out the bad, but that's just not honest and you guys should know who you support.

I'm going to be here as long as I can and draw what you love, and if I earned your support I'd love to have you be here with me too <3 Thanks for being a part of this journey with me. Here's to Trying.