Fog in the Bog (Prana goes camping) + updates

A few things had to get switched around this month. I was grumpy for a good several days but have come to terms with the realities of the situations and am feeling much less grump ;)

August was going to be a busy month. I was excited to embark. I was never able to drone on day after day until they all flow together into a homogenous soup. Even before my joint problems, I would work 12+ hour long catering shifts for weeks just to go fly somewhere and lay on a beach for a month. I love the contrast. I have spent the summer staying with someone (dove daddy) while the van got repairs after the Break-In Incident and the Cow Incident. While also getting some much needed rest and resetting a lot of fucking insane muscle tension that comes with living with an unstable spine. This has looked like sleeping a ton and maybe going outside once every 3 days (because it's the Virginian Swamp and the humidity is literally 100%). This is so bad for my brain as I am solar powered and hail from Colorado where I was spoiled and able to find natural solitude literally every day growing up. SO I was supposed to finally hit the road at the beginning of this month and switch everything up and use this stored up energy on some explosive projects and exciting moves. I had plans to go to a nude festival in Ithaca to share my art and my journey and to generally spend time naked in the sun with likeminded folks (see: Sentientfest.com), and then tour across the US involving lots of fun photo projects with friends and people who will give me money to pay for gas and weed and dry needling (yay). One plan involved a week long residency in a Mansion in KY. Then land in California to do the Rugged tour with the Venus de Tierra collective in September. It was perfect. Alas. Shit hit the storm-fan and a bunch of stressful things happened and my body said NOPE and I had to cancel every single one of my August plans. So I am still here and still healing and working to depart for the Rugged tour next month. 

It is an awful thing to want to do something, to be ready to do something, to cultivate a thirst for this thing that you are planning to do such that your thirst reaches its precipice right as the thing happens just for dramatic effect. And then to be physically unable to do it. It's not my decision, it's not my choice, it is something that is decided for me. It sucks to feel like a prisoner in your body. The muscle spasms got too bad and I had to call it. I was barely able to reach out to everyone in order to cancel my plans. I felt super bummed out. 

But then I did some shit about it. I packed up my van. I found a river spot within an hour's drive. I invited my Dove Daddy to hang with me on one last adventure before we part ways (forever, for now, who knows). I got naked in the sun. I searched for critters. I found them and put some on my body (sorry buds). I went tubing down the river naked (video soon for Cervical. It was a hot mess). I finally finally shot outside with my new camera that I got back in May. I correctly ID'd many birds ;) And I just sorta found my cadence again in my favorite type of setting. To offset the fomo and sit with myself, with my body, with it all. And to show my butt. We are here to have fun. 

I am back in my temporary sanctuary and feeling more at peace. More settled. More strong in my volition. My path is hard. I get knocked off a lot. But it's a big part of who I am and where I am today. I would not make any art if it weren't for my physical discomfort in this body. I would not have that drive to find comfort and that ability to prioritize potent experiences, growth, and connection to myself over everything else. I will R&R and I will finally hit the road and it will be so sweet and feel so good. And I will have the peace of mind that comes with giving myself permission to rest and heal and show my butt in succession with whatever timing and in whatever order I choose. 

SO YEAH. Here are some camping pics! I put a frog on my self! He hated it! And here's why I haven't answered any emails in a week. I'm sad but ok! And feeling powerful. I hope you are too. 

xx Prana