Getting a Grip

A steady hand on my floppy self is my biggest turn-on.

On a just-as-serious note, putting my hands on my own tired, quivering body is my favorite way to bring me back home to my self.

I use my hands to cue, to adjust, and to comfort. To direct attention, to bring awareness and breath to the less noticed parts of my self. The parts that need it. I am ALWAYS touching myself 🤠

This  is my church, this is my therapy. I was dealt a bad hand with muscular-skeletal instability and it hurts to exist in space. This is my alternative to opioids or suicide. So far it’s working. Healing hands on my naked body several times over, conveying the path. Expressing my devotion to my self in the ways I know how. Coming home over and over and over again until one day maybe I won’t wonder off. Untethered but not lost.

I made this image 18 months ago (image 2)! I love revisiting pages from my bible-of-nudes (I mean the book is only two years long). It’s a really special way to dog-ear the page that is right now and then compare to another chapter. I didn’t look at the old one when making the new one. Similar and different hand placements abound. Also the more better photoshop. 

This project is published for Lumbar($5)+ thanks for your support :) 

PS. Didja know that my new posture tiers are also in direct relation to the main chakral points in the energetic body? I promise I didn’t even plan it this way. Fixing my sacral spine has helped me feel a lot more grounded in my body (root chakras). Fixing my lumbar spine has helped me feel more confident and true to myself— it has helped me form a personal identity for the very first time (low belly, solar plexus). Fixing my thoracic spine by opening up my throat and chest has helped me look outside of myself and into my community to feel less anxious, afraid, and closed off to others (heart space). The energetic spaces get more “heady” as you move up the spine towards the crown, which is considered the energetic point for realization, spiritual awakening, or Saṃsāra. My understanding is that once I fix my cervical spine, everything will explode and implode and I will be everywhere and nowhere in every drop of water and none of them at all. Soooooo that’s my goal. I’ve heavily avoided the use of Sanskrit/spirituality in my published work outside of “Prana”as Ive really really had to buckle up for the physical plane and all it entails and talking about my posture and pain in a clear way that empowers and validates is hard enough.  Soon though :) 

Fuck it, this is now a Sacral($1)+ post ❤️