Final Yama: Aparigraha

Aparigraha is about non-attachment, non-possessiveness, non-gripping, and non-hoarding.

When we wander around town and notice how many storage facilities exist, we might believe that the concept of non-attachment no longer exists in our society. Accumulating belongings is a way to measure our value to humanity, but this hoarding of stuff isn’t adding value to humanity. And while we use a superficial metric to feel important, we add physical weight and burden to our lives. We might use the language of ‘I own this’ or ‘mine’, but our possessions possess us, and eventually, we all leave this life - taking nothing.

And while our final Yama does apply to physical objects, it also goes beyond the stuff we might accumulate. We can hold onto moments that please us, reluctant to allow time to continue to unfold as if we have any choice. I find this particularly true when an evening with a good friend is winding down. Aparigraha means practicing detachment even in these moments that bring us joy and fulfillment so that we can be deeply present as they unfold around us.

That gripping can be even more subtle as we cling to old, limiting beliefs about ourselves and others. Wanting things, people, and relationships to stay the same because change and growth might mean uncertainty and temporary discomfort. And yet, people and relationships change. No amount of clinging can stop the natural rhythm of constant change. Accepting that someone we care about is different than they used to be, a relationship dynamic changing, or even ending, embracing the limitlessness of our abilities rewards us with less anxiety and a greater sense of inner peace and calm.

Our attachments become a heavy load that weighs us down, and we can experience freedom with a lighter load. When we practice Aparigraha, we cultivate a deep sense of gratitude and contentment. Our relationships with others improve when we release our expectations of them. Recognizing that nothing actually belongs to us, we begin to experience the incredible abundance around us. Practicing constant generosity and unwavering trust in that abundance will keep our greed in check and keeps us open to life’s unfolding.

Self-Study (Journalling) Prompts:

Am I holding onto painful memories?

How can I release them?

How can I stop clinging to positive emotions?

How can I stop running away from negative emotions?

What material possessions am I clinging to?