NokiMo
Ralanr
Ralanr

patreon


Vagabonds: Chapter 2. Introducing the Lazy Captain

Two weeks in, and now let's talk about chapter 2.

In chapter 2 we’re introduced to Captain Gel, which is pronounced with a hard G or Guh sound rather than hair gel. Gel is the older of the two siblings, and also the more irresponsible of the two, something I related way too much when writing it. The chapter is told from his perspective, and I was trying to go for a casual comedic flair with it.

Right off the bat, I feel mistakes are pretty prominent. For one, the pacing seems a bit…rushed. It’s only under 1600 words, and I’ve always had issues with story length. Gel wakes up, shows Thax how much money they’ll make on a deal he made without him, Thax storms off and is eventually outvoted by the entire crew because of money. Looking back, I should have probably made the amount of money more clear, because leaving it open to an assortment of zeros but saying that 70% of the total profits could wipe out their entire debt might have been a tad…much?

Gel was my attempt to write the charming captain. The Kirk, Malcolm Reynolds (I haven’t seen firefly so I’m probably not accurate). But he’s meant to be a subversion of the idea of what is a captain. Gel is lazy, bored, and would much rather pilot at the helm than give orders. He had this idea of what respect a captain gets, and took on the role thinking mainly about that. His reasonings for this are purely self-centered and related to some unresolved issues with his own father, which is hinted at but sadly never explored before I gave up on the story. It’d be accurate to say that Gel pitched the idea over drinks with his brother, and Thax made it happen so now Gel is stuck with it.

Anyone who’s played D&D, knows the subculture, or knows about lord of the rings can also notice the names I’ve sprinkled in. Tolk, Gygac 7, Mercer 12. My intent was just sort of dumb easter eggs that I had fun typing up and imagining. I figured they’d be fun to poke out with readers if this ever got published.

This chapter also gives another sense of motivation, or at least attempted to. Thax wants them off to safer pastures. He understands they’re in debt but figures they can find ways to pay it back safely. Gel wants excitement, he’s a goddamn star captain after all. He wants to swerve through the cosmos, make money, and look good doing it. But such an amount should be a giant red flag. Problem is, Gel sees red flags as signals to rush in.

Next chapter will be focusing on Merida, the ‘cargo’ Gel was hired to transport.


Related Creators