BK1 Chapter One, Part Three

Chapter One, Part Three

Freda quickly brought my brown leather satchel as I waited at the double front doors. Henley was waiting with me. He had already summoned a young boy from the stable to fetch me a carriage.

"Which shop will you be visiting today?" Henley asked as Freda handed me the satchel.

"As it's the festival, I may browse some of the stalls", I answered, tucking the strap over my shoulder.

"That is not allowed. You do not have permission to roam the streets" Henley narrowed his eyes at me.

"I don't have permission?" I questioned. This wasn't the first time I had been given restrictions, but I don't know for what reason this was prompted.

"After you caused a scene last year, you were banned from exploring any festivals on your own", Henley informed me, causing me to sigh.

Of course, last year, in my first life. I was jealous of the attention Kara received from my aloof brothers and threatened to have an entire street of stalls removed for selling 'ugly' things. I think I had even pointed a lit piece of wood at a stall as part of that threat.

Eduard saw it as a stain on the family's pride and had me housebound for a month. I missed everything, including the fireworks.

"Fine. I'll just go to the Hanson's store", I mumbled, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. I really did earn my nickname, the Crazy Cerue Lady.

"I shall likely return in the afternoon", I said, pushing the doors open to find the carriage being pulled up, perfect timing.

"Likely?" Henley countered.

"Yes, likely. I'll be sure to come back before Eduard and Callan arrive."

"Very well, I shall inform the Viscount". Henley bowed his head slightly towards me in forced etiquette. "I hope you have a pleasant outing Miss Lynette", he said, seemingly reluctant.

"As do I", I finalised before heading out. It wasn't hard to miss how he never called me 'my Lady.'

The young boy Henley had sent to fetch the carriage sat in the driver's seat, having driven it around. It was a rickety thing, small and shabby. A single Kreshna demonic beast was saddled to pull it.

A servant's carriage.

I hadn't ridden in one of these since my marriage to the Baron.

The large creature pulling the carriage huffed as he neared me. Its shoulders were wide, its skin a tough flaky brown. Two curved horns protruded behind its floppy ears, much like rams, as it shook its head to rid itself of the flies attracted to its eyes in the heat of the summer.

It was heavier than most Oxen and often startled but easy enough to breed domestically. After all, it was a sub-servant demonic beast used to pull carriages in the Zopan Empire. Only nobles could afford to use horse-drawn carriages.

"S-sorry, Miss", the young boy said, a little embarrassed. "The stables told me to use this carriage for-for the miss."

"It's fine, don't worry", I said to set him at ease. But, of course, only my father, Kara, or my brothers would use the horses. As a non-blood-related mortal, I didn't qualify despite being adopted by Cassandra as a child. That was the way Father wanted it. I was not worthy enough as a commer by blood.

Freda didn't say anything on the matter. She only tried to look away, embarrassed after this morning. She often tried to avoid the dining room. I suspect she knew what the chefs did to my food.

"Er, where do you want to go today?" The young boy asked, getting down from the driver's seat to open the carriage doors for me. Then, like a mini gentleman, he held out his hand for me to use, which made me genuinely smile. He was a nice kid.

"The temple" I took his hand, stepping up into the carriage. Unfortunately, the seats weren't cushioned, and the floor was mucky. I sighed, knowing my butt was going to suffer today.

"The temple?" Freda finally made a sound. "My Lady, you told Henley you were going to Hanson's store?" she questioned, following me into the carriage. A Lady can't ever travel without her personal maid, after all.

"We will. We are just going to the temple first", I said, settling into the hard seat. Freda settled opposite me.

"But my La-" she tried to protest.

"It's not a lie, Freda, only omitted truth" I shrugged. "The Temple, please" I nodded to the young boy.

"Right, the temple, of course, Miss". The young boy was very chipper.

"I'm in your care, young man", I said with a smile.

"Ah, I-it is Miguel, young Miss". He blushed before closing the door and returning to the driver's seat, leaving me alone with Freda.

The carriage began to move, the sound of gravel crunching under the Kreshna's heavy feet. The journey to the temple would probably be delayed if Talbour had crowds today, so I had some time to myself – If I ignored Freda.

The tension in my body began to ease as I saw the Manor moving further and further away before we passed the gate.

"My Lady, if Henley finds out.." Freda began tugging the brown cloak she wore tighter. If Henley found out she didn't stop me, he would chastise her.

"He won't find out because we won't tell him", I stated bluntly.

"But-but the boy.." Freda hesitantly asked.

"Don't worry. He won't say anything if we ask him not to. He's probably just as much aware of how much trouble he would be in for taking us to the temple once he finds out I didn't have permission" I grinned at her, which startled her.

"O-Of course, my Lady", Freda was visibly uncomfortable with the idea.

"Relax, Freda, if anything happens, I'll take the blame" I finally relented to her nervousness.

"T-take the blame, miss?" Freda seemed genuinely surprised by her expression.

"Yes, I don't want to deal with a new personal maid anytime soon", I remarked, which reddened her cheeks. Is she embarrassed again?

"Thank you, miss", she said after a bit of silence. Was she contemplating that?

"It's nothing I can't handle anyway", I shrugged. It wouldn't be the first time I had taken the blame for something. However, this situation is by my demand, not Freda's. "If you don't mind, could we sit in silence for a while? I need to think."

"Yes, my Lady". Freda seemed happy with that idea as well. She likely disliked spending time with me as much as I did being babysat by a servant.

Quietly, I looked outside the window watching the buildings of Talbour City pass by. Cassandra had brought me here from Wayward Town when I was seven. She was a kind woman who had taken pity on me when she found me. A rare kindness I haven't experienced much of in my three lifetimes.

I miss her, a lot.

Every regression had always been after she had already passed away. Every life, I had to re-endure the home of the Hevershams without her. She had been the only member of the family who wanted me there. Of course, Kara was just as kind, but she was so sheltered she never really saw how I was suffering.

Cassandra would have seen it and wouldn't have stood for it, but her death was untimely. I was left behind as unwanted baggage. Roger Heversham hadn't been pleased when Cassandra returned home from her trip to visit her family in Wayward with me at her heels, but he couldn't say no to his wife. Roger loved her dearly, as did Eduard, Callan, and Kara. It was only at Cassandra's insistence that my name was added to the family register.

The carriage bumped a little as it moved onto the cobbled streets of Talbour from the smooth road of the noble's plateau. The mansions thinned, replaced by smaller homes conjoined against one another in neat rows. Commoners briskly carried out their daily morning chores as washing was hung from windows and dirt swept from doorways. White spires towered in the distance above their homes.

I still remember the day we got the news of Cassandra Heversham's passing. We received it a week after the event, which devastated us all. I was only thirteen. That seems like half a century ago now. Nevertheless, it was still a vivid memory when the royal guard stopped at our door. They told us of the tragic accident when travelling through Ridge Pass on her annual trip to Wayward.

Nemions had attacked her carriage, dangerous prowling demonic beasts similar to large cats with midnight fur and talons sharper than knives. They were not native to Ridge Pass. They had managed to travel there from the deadlands.

It was a simple case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Every time I returned after death, there was always a part of me hoping to have come back before, so I could prevent it somehow, but that was never the case.

I died at thirty-two in my first life. My second life was when I was twenty-eight, and in my third life, I was thirty-one.

It was becoming exhausting.

I had already resigned myself to death in my first life. I had accepted it, in fact. Yet, despite that, I returned and returned again. Why? Why send me back?

Suddenly the carriage bumped, causing me to grab the seat for security.

"S-sorry, miss! The kreshna was startled by the crowd", Miguel shouted to me, his voice barely audible over the increased sound of the town centre. Pulling the drab curtain aside, I saw the streets littered with people as they bartered their items for sale. Buskers playing their instruments, stalls competing for the best food, and crowds happily chatting. It was a busy summer's day, and the festival was in full swing. Far different from the quiet I had grown used to locked away in Baron Ashers Manor all those years.

Our marriage hadn't been pleasant. He had always worried about my appearance in society, fussing over the bruises his beatings would leave on my skin. So I became a bird in a cage. Never stepping out of those walls except for special occasions. Such as a visiting guest or a ball, we could not refuse attendance.

I had to learn from second-hand gossip from the maids about what was happening in the Empire. I even employed someone to spy on my family and report to me anything worth knowing. All just so I could feel some connection outside that ugly home.

At first, I argued with Garret. I fought back and attempted to defend myself. Gradually, I knew I was tumbling further into a hole within myself. A mortal couldn't defend against a core user.

Then, one day, I locked my heart away.

Nothing bothered me anymore; indifference was my best friend and only defence against his cruelty. When Garret learned of my illness, he strangely left me alone. It was brief relief for a year or so before the Draygon boys were murdered.

I should have thought about it more.

Maybe I would have picked up on Garret's unusual behaviour around me. But, never had I expected the royal guard to barge into the mansion for my arrest as a murderer.

Garret was a fool.

He was not capable of murdering someone. Especially two children distantantly related to royalty. He was too cowardly for that. He had definitely been used by someone else who did. I had been a barter in their sick conspiracy. No doubt, Garret would have been killed next to keep their secret.

"We're here, miss" The carriage had pulled to a stop at the front of a large building that dwarfed the houses beside it. The temple's steeple could be described as touching the sky; built from rare white stone, it sometimes looked like a sharp cloud from a distance.

Stone steps led up to a courtyard where a fountain with a crossing water feature attracted young children to throw copper coins in exchange for wishes. Behind the fountain, an archway into the temple, nearly four men tall, beckoned its followers into its embrace.

I heard all temples were built with the same structure. Only the capital was on a grander scale.

Miguel opened the carriage door, offering me his hand again, which I took gratefully. Stepping out, a few people looked at us curiously but didn't remain long when seeing my attire. The dress I wore wasn't something a noble would wear. The deep green and tight buttoned chest was far too simple for someone worth watching.

"Thank you, Miguel. I will be heading into the temple for a while. I can't say how long I may be. Where shall I find you?" I asked, brushing some of the dust from my skirt. The carriage had been rather dirty.

"I-if it's okay, miss, after I move the carriage, I thought I might go get some street food whilst I wait?" He nervously scratched his small hand.

"Of course, that's fine. I shall meet you at the square then?" My agreement surprised him. I doubt the Viscount would have allowed any of the servants at the Manor to do as they wished.

"My Lady, Miguel should wait for our return. We can't walk the streets to the square", Freda reprimanded me, twitching a bit as she looked around at the crowd around the temple.

"We?" I raised my eyebrows at her "Freda. I shall be going to the temple alone. You're free to join Miguel at the festival."

"My Lady!" She exclaimed. "I can not leave you alone. That is not… is not how it's done". She tried to argue her point, afraid for her own safety if she was discovered to have left me alone.

"Freda, it may not be how it is done, but it's how this is going to happen" I shook my head. "Like it or not, you're not coming with me". This was something I had to do on my own. "I doubt you have time off to go to the festival, so just use now to enjoy it whilst you can. I promise I won't be reckless", I added that last part as a compromise.

I could see the cogs working in her brain as she considered my words. Then, after a moment, she solemnly nodded and stepped back into the carriage.

"That's a plan then, miss!" Miguel exclaimed with delight returning to the driver's seat. "I hope your prayers are answered, miss", he smiled at me with a boyish charm before waving me goodbye.

It wasn't so much my prayers, but questions I hoped would be answered today.

Picking up the hem of my dress, I began my climb of the stone steps towards the fountain. It was weird to feel this much energy in my body again. Before, my body had become beaten and tender from Garret's mistreatment. Climbing up steps like this, I likely would have required help halfway, but now it was a breeze. Even with my malnourished body, I no longer ached with movement.

Nearing the arch, I spotted several children throwing coins into the fountain. They happily ran around playing games. A few elderly folks beckoned them over to talk about the fables of the gods.

Two monks stood at the entrance to the arch, dressed in long white cloaks; they greeted each follower with warmth and guidance. I thanked them as they asked if I wanted directions, but I knew whom I wished to seek today. The maids in Garrets mansion had taught me much about the gods.

Stepping into the archway, the sunlight dissipated, replaced by mage lamps on the domineering white stone walls of the dome's entrance.

Eventually, the dome-like cave opened up to the hall of the gods, their statues arranged in a circle as they enveloped the people equally. Monks were lighting mage lamps. Their fingers snapped towards each lamp before bowing in prayer, facing the statue of their god or goddess.

Many men were scattered in the hall today. They were dressed formally and quietly, making their prayers to the gods. Most of them had gathered near Ragnor, the god of strength and war. Maybe they were hoping to become soldiers.

A few others stood before the goddess Trinsa, the goddess of spirit and knowledge, a common goddess to follow for those who wished to wield Aether.

An elderly pair of women bowed deeply at the feet of Herishma, the goddess of fertility and health.

A lone monk prayed to Urish, the god of justice and exchange.

Only two gods were alone without prayers being made to them, Yune, the god of creation and death, and Vishka, the goddess of rebirth and time.

Vishka, she was who I had come to see.

Yune and Trinsa were fabled to be the parents of Vishka, so the three held unique ties. After much thought of my situation, if the gods were real, it would be only Vishka who could have sent me back at the moment of my death.

She is the goddess of rebirth.

Looking around, I saw a table of unlit wax candles people were collecting to light at their god's feet.

I had heard from the maids at Garret's Manor that gods communicated through the candles you lit during prayer. I had always believed that to be myth and more a tradition than truth. I definitely couldn't see any movements in the flames of the lit candles scattered around.

"Excuse me", I approached a monk standing nearby at the edge of the room. His white hood dropped below his eyes, so I couldn't see his face properly in the mage light.

"Yes, child of light?" His lips smiled, opening his arms in greeting.

"I would like a private prayer with Vishka", I fumbled, unsure if I should have replied with something about light. I had never been much of a worshipper.

"This way, child", his arm moved right. Leading to a set of doors built into the circular walls of the dome. Following him, he took me to the third door behind Vishka's statue opening it for me.

"Uh, thanks" I awkwardly bowed my head to him before stepping inside. I guess there was no queue for Vishka.

"Knock twice when your prayers have been completed". His lips twitched before closing the door behind me, and suddenly the room was engulfed in darkness.

"Crap", I sputtered, trying to find a light source. Moving my hands along the stone walls, I gently tapped the floor with my feet to ensure I didn't step on anything. Eventually, I felt a tiny lump in the wall which stuck out unevenly. Grabbing it, I switched it up, igniting a collection of candles at the very end of the small rectangular room. A magic trip for fire.

"Vishka", I breathed, looking at the centre of the candles where a smaller version of the statue in the main hall stood.

Her eyes were covered in bandages, her hands close to her chest but cupped together, pointing up to symbolise her catching the souls for rebirth. It was beautiful if not an eerie statue.

I tried not to feel uncomfortable in the small room alone with it, but it was hard not to.

Picking up one of the unlit wax candles on the floor at her feet, I held it against the flame of another, igniting the wick before placing it back down in front of me.

"Oh, great gods", I began, a little uneasy. Was this a silly idea?

"I regret to say this is my first time visiting" I had never been much of a religious person before.

"I have many questions I fear will remain unanswered", I sighed, looking up at Vishka, solemn and quiet as a statue always is.

"If you are real, I'm sure you know my plight. This is the 4th time I find myself twenty-one again. Did you have a hand in this?" I asked earnestly.

"If you hear me, if at all possible, please answer". The flame of my candle began to dim. It was odd as there was no wind in the temple. It was built with no windows to prevent wind.

All of a sudden, the flame grew. I held my breath as it changed to a hue of blue.

The gods, they were answering! The candles hadn't been a myth.

Perhaps this would be more surprising if I hadn't returned from the dead. I guess I am more composed towards the impossible now. Before, I would never have thought that the gods could interact with the people or were even real, for that matter. Now? I guess anything is possible.

"Is there a reason you granted me this chance?" I asked, my eyes glued to the candle. It returned to the dim flame it had started with, then flickered blue again. I scrunched my face, confused.

What did that mean?

"D-does a large flame mean yes?" I asked, and the flame bellowed again, heat licking my skin. I needed to confirm before asking more questions.

"So large, yes, small, no?" The flame bellowed, answering my confusion. That limits me to yes and no questions. I pinched my lips. I would not be able to find out why I have been brought back with such questions. I have no idea what reason I have regressed, so I do not know what I should ask to understand why. However, I could confirm how, maybe.

"Were you the one who sent me back?" the candle remained dim again, making me frown, but then it grew a little bit before falling. So did that mean Vishka had a hand in it?

"Were you involved in sending me back?" I altered my question, and the flame grew large this time, a definite yes.

"Was my bracelet a part of that?" I asked, the flame glowing blue confirming my suspicions. The bracelet surely must have been a conduit of some sort for my rebirth. Why else would the stones vanish?

"Now that the gems have gone, is this my last life?" I asked, my heart stopping for a moment. The flame grew large, a bright blue, a yes. The fear creeping into me made my hands shake.

I can't screw this life up, then. This cycle wasn't going to continue.

Slowly I dropped to my knees at the feet of Vishka as the realisation of the truth began to set in.

"Is this chamber sound-proof?" I whispered, and the flame flickered blue in answer.

The lump I had been holding in my throat all this time rose as tears began streaming down my cheeks.

I sat there for some time, crying, as the pain of what had happened to me took hold.

Trapped in a marriage of abuse for years, stuck alone in a mansion with no one but a man I hated. Sold to that life by a Father I thought I could somewhat trust. Then used in a conspiracy and framed for the murder of two young boys I had no interaction with. Finally sent for execution at the hand of the general whose very nephews I had supposedly killed.

For so long, I had shut myself off from feeling my emotions. It was the only way I mentally got through my days, but now?

What do I do now? Relive that pain again?

"Vishka", I spoke, my voice shaky from crying. "Can I change my fate?" the statue loomed above me as I held my breath, looking at the flame. It flickered at first, then rose to a glorious blue.

My heart leapt in hope.

"So there is a way I can lead a different life than before". More tears began to fall. "Will you show me the way?" I asked, my hands shaky, but the flame didn't move. There had to be a reason the gods brought me back. They surely can't expect me to figure it out alone. I haven't in three lifetimes already.

My chest tightened as no response followed. So it was up to me to change my fate then.

Vishka couldn't help me with this. I was on my own to figure this out.

I sat alone with Vishka for some time before pulling myself back together. Wiping my cheeks with the back of my hand, I tried to lessen the appearance of my no-doubt red eyes. Then, as the monk instructed, I raised my hand to knock twice on the door to signal the end of my prayers.

Vishka has heard your prayers!

Welcome to your guidance system. For a short time, this system will help

guide you in the path of fate.

Use it wisely!

I screamed, falling backwards onto the cold stone floor at the box appearing before me.