We're Not Going to America?! | Letting Loose Podcast - Episode 6

I’m sorry you had to go through the heartache Jason. I can give a female perspective of these situations from my own previous experiences, however I feel like the perspective really needed is from a person who has been the one to make a mistake because I was in the same boat as you. But I’d like to firstly say hats off to you for openly bringing it into a discussion because I think it should be normalised to open up about your past & I have a lot of respect for you because it’s tough to talk about things that hurt you. I feel like my feelings back then were very similar to yours the self doubt wondering why& also the question of how long they felt that way before it came out. Accompanied by the uncertainty of what life holds ahead. You know in your mind you’ve found your person and that’s all you think you’ll know so it completely turns your world upside down and the thought of having to learn about someone else is just horrible. I know these situations are literally the worst you lose all motivation and pretty much feel numb like nothing can make you happy while it’s raw. Even when you think you’re doing better you’ll have days where you’re questioning if you really are okay too. From my experience which was during lockdown, it affected me very badly. The fact I couldn’t go out with friends either at that point & everywhere was closed too definitely didn’t help so I’m glad you have great friends around you. So I didn’t just lose my 3 year relationship I lost my mortgage, dog, 2 step kids, my routine & also made to look like I just walked out on him one day while in fact I did just pack up and leave and wished them both well together and it took me a long time to heal from it. Some days I’d be fine then other times I’d find myself not eating and still feeling like my heart was in my stomach, wondering if my whole relationship was just a way for him to win her back by showing he was a better man. Hearing how happy he was with her from mutual friends and just yeah that was a tough moment in my life. I honestly do feel for anyone who’s experienced it. I’m not sure if it’s just a female thing but I definitely got self conscious and felt insecure. I’d compare myself to others want to change the way I looked, I’d sleep a lot bc it’s the only time I didn’t feel hurt and I’d over work myself in both work and the gym/ walks just to stay busy and stop me thinking about it & that took some time to get out of too but I know now after healing from the heartache I understand that when that happens we can’t blame ourselves & we also can’t then treat everyone like they will do the same bc there are some genuine people out there who will make everything seem worth it when you meet them. Sometimes I think even now it has made me more conscious of who I give my Time and energy to because of course I’ve met up with people but if it didn’t feel right I didn’t feel bad about being alone, . Don’t get me wrong I’m very much a relationship person but until I meet someone that everything feels real with and have a mutual respect for each others boundaries I’d rather stay single. I’ve never been one for the ‘hoe phase’ either so having people tell me to get back out there felt pressuring. I’ve always said I don’t date for temporary situations, I’d rather stay single than know I’m engaging in something that won’t last. And I’ve always been upfront at the start asking them to openly talk to me if they ever feel like it’s not working out rather than cheat. Never been an arguing type I think it’s pointless I hate drama. (Both my past relationships ended the same way) so I do still wonder if I’m too relaxed and if it’s the way I trust my relationships and the fact they know I will be 100% loyal that they feel they get a free pass. But at the same time I never want to be a girl who stops someone going out or tells them what they can and can’t do. I’ll always let someone’s actions show me how they truly feel. So although it absolutely shattered me I genuinely think it’s made me a better person because now I have my boundaries which I will stick to, no more second chances when another person is involved and just overall made me more aware of what to look out for and a reminder to always trust my gut instinct. I have to say the way you speak about her still is nice to see too, that’s exactly how I believe it should be, keeping the respect and not reacting out of anger. Keeping the peace and wishing them well is the best way to be in my perspective. Apologies for the long comment but I thought I’d give a female perspective as openly and honest as I could.

I have been single for 5 or 6 years now. I used to have several dating apps, even paid for Match. I had ZERO success. I went on a few dates but most men were just looking for some fun and not a relationship if anyone kind. I deleted all of my profiles about 2 years ago or so and have stopped trying to date at all, and I’m much happier now than I have been in a very long time.

Brigid Blakemore

Sorry what you’re going through Jase, I’ve decided I’m staying single after my last relationship ended 🙄loving the podcasts Jase and Josh bounce off each other 💜

I’m very sorry Jase. I’m sure the universe will send you the perfect person ❤️

Shawna Star

Sorry to hear you are going through a tough heartbreak 😕 While it’s never easy, the way you spoke about it, your prospective, and how you are handling it speaks volumes of your character! 💚

I can do some sign language but its Makaton sign language which is used for those with learning disabilities which is a form of speaking and signing

I love this when youre talking about stuff! I never knew Josh had a lot of knowledge about whatever hes talking about!!! 😂

Ohh yes Josh! That works for me! 👀👀 love that opening line! I'd swipe on your profile Josh!